After the movie we all were going to go get me a fish for Jimmy's gift but the store was closed so we went to dinner instead. I already have a fish now but I feel like if I change it's environment drastically it'll die and that's the last thing I want. It's funny, a lot of people have one thing that keeps them rooted to where they are, sometimes it's a lease or a person or a job but for me it's three things. My job, my boyfriend, and my fish Icicle. I got it my first week at SNL I remember saying to Andy, "I've wanted a pet my whole life but I could never feed it because I had no money, so we're going to the pet store. NOW." Although I think Andy was fearsome that since I've never had a pet that I would probably be a bad owner so he got me a fish. A beautiful blue Beta Fish that is now 8 months old. (They said it was born in May last year, I got it in August). At dinner Bill and Cillian met up with us. I loved just HOW we met up though, I went to the restroom and Cillian showed up just outside it as I was leaving the restroom;
CILLIAN
Ah, Ms. Essenelle did you not like my report on Mr. Zaz?
CHRISTINA
...You really think a man who butchers people for the mob doesn't belong in jail?
CILLIAN
Well apparently I've testified for it Ms. Essenelle.
CHRISTINA
This is the third of Falcone's thugs you've testified insane and moved to your psych ward at Arkham.
CILLIAN
Oh the work of organized crime must have an attraction to the insane. (he begins to walk away and CHRISTINA follows)
CHRISTINA
Or the corrupt.
CILLIAN
(at their table, to BILL) Mr. Hader, I think you should check with Ms. Essenelle here just what implications your office allows her to make, if any. (he sits down at table table)
CHRISTINA
(sitting down next to him) Mr. Murphy I don't think you understand that I no longer have any lines with you.
CILLIAN
(still acting in the same tone) Oh really Ms. Essenelle?
CHRISTINA
Call me Christina.
CILLIAN
Are you flirting with me?
CHRISTINA
Our new D.A. is the worst lover in the world apparently. And I can't get my eyes off you.
CILLIAN
Truly Christina you have the wrong man. For I am possibly gay.
CHRISTINA
Really?
CILLIAN
No one knows for sure, but it's possible considering I have such a boner for Batman right now.
CHRISTINA
(still acting in the same tone, BILL and KRISTEN are seen mime-laughing) You could be bisexual, or maybe that boner's just for me. (she puts her hand on his shoulder seductively)
CILLIAN
Don't flatter yourself, you're nothing like what I want. (she takes her hand away)
CHRISTINA
Harvey says that every man is different, so tell me what do you like?
CILLIAN
Intelligence, humor, good looks. What any man wants.
CHRISTINA
E=mc squared and the chicken crossed the road.
CILLIAN
(STILL ACTING PEOPLE) Wow, looks like you're exactly what I want now. Everything has changed it feels...it feels like...
CHRISTINA
(dramatically) What, what does it feel like?
CILLIAN
(looking into her eyes dramatically) It feels like this boner is for you.
CHRISTINA
No!
CILLIAN
Yes...(she puts her hand back on his shoulder) Sweetheart.
CHRISTINA
Yes cupcake?
CILLIAN
Your hand is on my shoulder. (she removes it quickly and he grabs it gently) No I love your hand...but what good does it do if it's on my shoulder? (he takes her hand and puts it on his chest then slides it down to his crotch, she goes bug eyed and doesn't know what to do)
CHRISTINA
What do I do now lemon drop? I'm so inexperienced...(JULIAN is seen choking on some water and laughing in the background)
CILLIAN
(resting his forehead on hers) Follow my lead...(he begins to unzip his pants and she retracts her hand like it was bitten puts her hands up in defense)
CHRISTINA
Hey uh-
BILL
2 minutes and 20 seconds! (everyone starts clapping)
CHRISTINA
Wait what?!
BOBBY
We set a timer to see how long you'd keep up the charade without breaking character.
CHRISTINA
(sighing) Oh thank God-
CILLIAN
(jokingly) You didn't like it darling?
CHRISTINA
(she hugs him laughing) You're an even more amazing actor than I even knew.
CILLIAN
Ha ha, well thank you. I was surprised you even got the reference at the door. They said you would but I was unsure.
CHRISTINA
Oh surprise Bill would think this up.
BILL
Hey I have a knack for humor.
CHRISTINA
(she extends her arm) I'd like to introduce myself properly...I'm Christina.
CILLIAN
Cillian.
CHRISTINA
That's such an interesting name, let me guess...Irish Saint.
CILLIAN
Very good...I wasn't kidding out my preferences by the way. Intelligence and humor.
FRED
And good looks.
CILLIAN
Yes can't forget those.
CHRISTINA
Is that hint that I should tell jokes and facts around you?
CILLIAN
No that's an order.
CHRISTINA
Ha ha, awesome. By the way Julian; fuck you.
JULIAN
(he starts laughing hysterically) Maybe later.
CHRISTINA
Don't flatter yourself. (winking to CILLIAN he winks back)
Oh my friends are weird...
