Hey everyone it’s Jules. Christina says my password was easy? Psh, hers took 2 tries, I wasn’t sure if it was I love SNL or I love The Strokes. But I figured it out, and changed it immediately to something more complicated. Well I’m pretty sure no one knows yet but I might as well post something about it, Christina’s in the hospital unconscious and she has been since last night. As she said yesterday she was walking to Albert Hammond Jr.’s house and he lives in the Narrows so it’s not like it’s a really safe area. But whenever Christina leaves NBC she has her hands in her pockets, one on her cell phone and the other on a tazer. Unless she’s with me then I’m holding one of her hands. So we assume she was walking and by the sight of her wounds there were more than four of them because they found her tazer in one of the guys, used, and she broke her hand from punching one of them in the face, he was also knocked out. But again, from her wounds she was stabbed 5 times, 2 on her chest, 1 in her back, one in her thigh, and the other on her arm. But she could have been shot at, the wounds were pretty weird. She called 911 the second they cornered her and from what the ambulance people say it was something like this:
AMBULANCE CALL RECEIVER
911 what's your emergency?
CHRISTINA
Back off! (screams) My name is Christina Essenelle and I'm by the corner of 11th and Mallory...(more screams)
AMBULANCE CALL RECEIVER
We're sending help your way do you want me to stay on the line with you? (phone breaks)
Thank God she did have that tazer and mind set that she was strong because otherwise she probably would've had worse ailments. They identified her immediately and patched her up and called Lorne Michaels, he then told us to all go to the hospital. Everyone in the SNL cast was there including Jimmy Fallon and myself. We took four cars to get there, Seth, Jimmy, Nasim, Paul, and myself in one, Lorne, Bill, and Abby in another, Keenan, Jason, Jay, and Bobby in another, and Kristen, Fred, Andy, Vanessa, and Taran in the other. When we got to the hospital we all waited outside her room and waited for her to get out of surgery. I had a nervous break down around the middle of it because I was worried. Christina's really clumsy and I just kept on thinking how serious surgery was and everything just got to me. Fred followed me, however, and he talked to me and that calmed me down. She got out of surgery about an hour later and she was still unconscious. The doctor told us what happened and that they needed myself and Seth to fill out some paperwork to the best of our ability. They also said that she needed to rest and that half of us should definitely leave. Well none of us really wanted to leave but some did, Lorne, Keenan, Taran, Vanessa, Jay, and Andy did. We waited for another hour and then we went in her room to go see her, and she was a mess. After about 5 minutes, Bill noticed that she was bleeding through some of her bandages and then her heart monitor started acting up. A bunch of nurses started running in and her doctor as well and Abby, Bill, Bobby, and Paul left the room to make room. The doctors said that she was bleeding out and that she probably wouldn't make it, this news made Kristen cry and so she left and Fred did as well. The punctured her chest to take the blood out and that worked for a while until it started messing with her heart, the doctors stopped for a moment and looked at each other gravely and that was enough to make Nasim and Jason leave teary eyed. It wasn't until her heart stopped beating when Jimmy and Seth left crying. And it was just me there. They took out the defibrillator and tried to bring her back to life, and so I prayed because I knew she would appreciate it, and seconds later her heart started beating again. I knew it was a sign. Only Seth, Jimmy, and myself stayed the whole night and next day. We played games and tried to make ourselves happy because we knew she'd appreciate it. It's funny how she brings everyone all together. Nick and Fab are coming over today at around 5:30PM, The All-American Rejects were already here at 11AM and Amy and Tina came over for a while today too. I hope she wakes up soon. We all miss her.
6PM
NICK
Even though she was beaten up pretty badly, she looks peaceful now.
SETH
Yeah...she gave us a real scare last night, she actually died and was brought back. I stayed in the room until her heart monitor went off then I just couldn't take it...we might have to cancel the show for this week unless someone wants to take up 6 scenes....you know it's funny, I've only known her for about 5 months but when you spend every day with them it's like that time triples...I can't-
CHRISTINA
I'm really happy for ya, and I'm gonna let you finish but Julian had one of the best bedside speeches of all time.
JIMMY
CHRISTINA!
CHRISTINA
OF ALL TIME.
NICK
How long have you been awake??
CHRISTINA
Bout 5 minutes ago, I was going to say something at first but I couldn't find the right words to say...
JULIAN
You have no idea how worried we've been about you...
NASIM
You've been unconscious for almost a day!
CHRISTINA
Almost a day...? Oh well then Happy Birthday Seth. (SETH gets all emotional and goes over and attempts to hug her without hurting her) Oh you big softie...
SETH
You died!
CHRISTINA
Yeah well, we all know how dramatic I am.
FRED
This is true, now let's get you out of here NBC misses you.
CHRISTINA
(looking down CHRISTINA puts her hand on his head and he looks up teary eyed, she laughs) I'm glad I woke up to such a party, everything's gonna be okay...
JIMMY
How do you feel?
CHRISTINA
Awkward. I feel like I'm in a straight jacket.
KRISTEN
Ha ha, I bet. (CHRISTINA pushes the "call nurse" button)
FRED
Is there something wrong?
NURSE
Yes? Ah you're awake!
CHRISTINA
When can I leave?
NURSE
We can discharge you first thing in the morning!
NICK
So at midnight she can leave?
NURSE
Well you should probably rest-
CHRISTINA
Do I have to rest here, I've got so much work to do.
NURSE
Well if you were to leave any time in the next 3 hours you'd have to take your IV and blood transfusion bag with you.
CHRISTINA
I can live with that.
NURSE
(laughs) Don't be silly, you'll be done with your IV in about an hour and your blood transfusions will most likely be done by tomorrow morning.
CHRISTINA
Before 10AM?
SETH
Christina you can't honestly think you're going to be in the show this week.
CHRISTINA
Who's gonna take my place!
SETH
We'd find somebod-
CHRISTINA
Exactly, no one. So, 10AM?
NURSE
Yes, but I agree with him I don't think you should be working tomorrow, or this week for that matter.
CHRISTINA
It's fine, I'm on SNL we're just filming scenes.
NURSE
Okay...well press the button if you need anything.
CHRISTINA
Oh! Can I take any of this off?
NURSE
Any of what off?
CHRISTINA
The bandages.
NURSE
No.
CHRISTINA
Did I break my hand?
NURSE
Three fingers, as you can see you have a cast on them for now, and that'll come off in 2 months.
CHRISTINA
2 months!
NURSE
It's removable so you can still film with it.
CHRISTINA
(sighing) Okay. (the nurse smiles and then leaves) Bitch.
Now that's the Christina I know. Love you babe.
