Today we filmed Horse Play and Penelope which would've been fun for me if I was in them or if I wasn't having so much fun in LOS ANGELES!!!! Oh gosh I am getting back on the plane to New York now but was today a blast...I got to the Conan studios (as I like to call them) at around...10AM? Because they film a bunch of their skits early in the day so I was told to come early. Anyways throughout the entire day I was meeting stage-hands and making little webisodes for TeamCoco.com and was just having a blast and as you know I was on the show so I decided to put the transcript from the show on here: (p.s. in the beginning of the show I pretended to be Conan)
CHRISTINA
(points to ANDY who is confused, points to the band, jumps in the air and touches floor) Thank you. Thank you! (she does the string-dance and receives even more applause)Ohhkay and welcome to Conan, I am Conan hence the 9 inch stilettos (lifts up suit pant leg to show massive heels and much applause from the audience. She looks up into the audience and sees a sign that says Hug Me Conan) What does that say?
GIRLS
HUG ME CONAN!! (the girls then start shreiking because the real Conan has come out from the back door and is huging the girls, he is wearing a white undershirt and boxers. He then looks at CHRISTINA)
CHRISTINA
How the hell did you get out!?
CONAN
I've escaped many basements before...now give me back my clothes! (CHRISTINA solemly takes off her suit and pants to reveal the same white undershirt and boxers CONAN had on) Yeah that's right, teach you to steal from me. (she then slowly walks away with her head down, she then turns her head)
CHRISTINA
I'm sorry Conan I ruined everything...(she continues walking and the crowd 'aw's in sadness)
CONAN
What! Don't awe her! (the crowd laughs) Get back here...(CHRISTINA runs back to CONAN and jumps in his arms)
CHRISTINA
Coco!
CONAN
Now GET OUT OF HERE.
CHRISTINA
Sorry sorry! (she scuddles off)
(15 minutes later)
CONAN
We're back, ladies and gentlemen my guest for tonight is one of the most widely known Saturday Night Live members of all time and her online blog has over 2 million viewers please welcome the one and only Christina Essenelle! (applause, CHRISTINA walks out in a dress and heels and hair back to original form. She gives CONAN a big hug and kisses him on the cheek and does the same with ANDY)You look so beautiful!
CHRISTINA
Ha ha, now that I'm out of that suit.
CONAN
My suit...good to have you here!
CHRISTINA
Good to be here. I've been excited all week.
CONAN
I know, I read your blog.
CHRISTINA
I know.
CONAN
Ha ha, so much to talk about. So as the audience may know you grew up in a fake orphanage and-
CHRISTINA
Well it wasn't a fake orphanage, it was a real orphanage just a really really bad one.
CONAN
Right, and as you wrote on your blog you said that everyone took care of eachother and you were the main person to search for food.
CHRISTINA
Right.
CONAN
Now what was it like to be the one being depended on for food? I mean was it tough or-?
CHRISTINA
Yeah it was definitely difficult to be the one everyone depended on because if I came home from school without a loaf of bread for everyone to eat, you know, someone could've died that night. And it was just really awful. Plus getting the food wasn't easy, I either had to steal it or beg for it.
CONAN
God could you imagine people in NYC watching this right now? "HEY I REMEMBER GIVIN' HER FOOD" (audience laughs)
CHRISTINA
Ha ha, actually if I stole food from a place and I remember the place I actually paid them back when I got money from SNL because I felt really bad about stealing in the first place. (audience applauses)
CONAN
Well that's very sweet of you.
CHRISTINA
Oh Conan just out of curiosity did you put the video of me at school on your website?
CONAN
I have! Now on teamcoco.com some of you may have seen this but when I went to New York I went to Christina's school and (audience laughs already knowing) followed her with a camera for two hours and she had no idea that I was following her.
CHRISTINA
He's evil! I felt like such an idiot when I saw that video. (puts a pouty face on and the audience aws)
CONAN
No, no, no! Don't awe her! She got her revenge, actually do we have the clip? Can we play it? Yes? Okay, so Christina decided to pay me back with a video that they played on Saturday Night Live just this previous Saturday. (they play the clip and it ends with applause) Yeah what do you think of her now?
CHRISTINA
Ha ha, I'm a little devil...
CONAN
Now Christina this is your first time in Los Angeles correct?
CHRISTINA
This is my first time going west of New York! (audience cheers)
CONAN
Well didn't you go to Alaska?
CHRISTINA
That's not part of Canada? (audience and CONAN laugh)
CONAN
Ha ha, no not yet.
CHRISTINA
My geography skills aren't up to par...
CONAN
Clearly not, but we have to take a commercial break but when we come back more Christina Essenelle! (during commercial break) The audience is going to piss themselves at any moment.
CHRISTINA
I know you're just too funny!
CONAN
I was talking about you!
CHRISTINA
Ha ha, arent' we perfect?!
CONAN
Ha ha, I must say though your scoliosis twins are quite voluptuous.
CHRISTINA
Ha ha, that was the intention.
(several minutes later)
CONAN
And we're back with Christina Essenelle, so Christina I was just thinking back and you just went on a little European Tour with the Strokes last week did you not?
CHRISTINA
I did!
CONAN
And rumour has it, because it's not on your blog, that you played keyboard at one of the concerts?
CHRISTINA
Uh...that's definitely a rumour and it's funny you bring that up because there's a lot of random rumours out there about me but everyone knows that if it's not on my blog it's probably not true.
CONAN
Well like what?
CHRISTINA
Well there was the very obvious one of 'Christina and Seth Meyers went out for 5 months before she was on the show'.
CONAN
I've heard about that one!
CHRISTINA
Yeah and that's the reason why I'm on the show because I was dating Seth!
CONAN
That's absolutely ridiculous, we all know you were dating Keenan before the show started!
CHRISTINA
That's right, wait who? (laughter from audience and CONAN)
CONAN
No, the only celebrity relationships you've had were Andy Samberg for 2 weeks I believe and Julian Casablancas for-?
CHRISTINA
2 months (applause).
CONAN
Yeah and you two seem to really be just hitting it off.
CHRISTINA
Yeah...it drives people crazy. (laughter)
CONAN
Ha ha, it drives people crazy?
CHRISTINA
Yeah! No one in SNL that I know of but walking on the streets sometimes we get paparazzi who want to ask one of us a question about the other that will most likely be something nasty and they can't do that because we're rarely in public without eachother.
CONAN
I know, I was going to ask all these awful questions about Julian tonight but he's right backstage. (laughter)
CHRISTINA
Curses!
CONAN
Foiled again!
CHRISTINA
See I feel like I need to get up and do a dance number, I can't compete with Christina Aguilera...
CONAN
Hey no one's stopping you from doing a dance number.
CHRISTINA
(getting up she offers her hand to CONAN) Shall we?
CONAN
Oh now I'm involved?
CHRISTINA
Heck yeah.
CONAN
Let's do this! (he strips off his jacket and tie and gets up to join CHRISTINA) Woah it's like deja vu...
CHRISTINA
Ha ha, now cup your breasts... (laughter)
CONAN
Well now what're you going to teach me? (laughter) WHAT YOU GOT?!
CHRISTINA
I've got the power (she rips off her knee length dress to reveal a short black flapper) of ball-room dancing. (applause and laughter)
CONAN
That's definitely not a ball-room dancing dress. (she gives him a dirty look and he puts his hands on her hips) Alright alright...(they dance for a minute to the Basic Cable Band and they continue dancing when CONAN says) Everyone give a round of applause to Christina Essenelle! When we come back Tom Felton!
(after TOM's interview it's time for THE STROKES to perform)
CONAN
We're back, my next guest will be performing from their latest album Room on Fire, they'll be singing Reptilia which is availble for purchase on iTunes. Please welcome The Strokes!
JULIAN
Conan, I must say you're hair is more awesome in person. (laughter)
Their was a rousing little party after the show and I got to talk to Tom Felton and Andy Richter more and they are just some really awesome people. That's the thing I love about show biz, everyone's really funny, nice, and just overall really cool. Tom Felton is DEFINITELY my new friend, we talked for over an hour and he even played some songs on a guitar he found backstage. Plus I was a little star struck because I love Harry Potter...Draco=my lover...yeah but I had an amazing time and it sucks that I have to leave Los Angeles so early but it's been a blast! There's too many palm trees though...
