Conan O'Brien here...I have hacked Christina's computer...mwahaha...
I have officially induced Christina into a Coco-craze. I've changed the background of her computer to a near-nude picture of me (she wishes) and have put banners of my TBS Show title (weeknights at 11!) all around her room. LET THE IMAGES FILL YOUR BRAAAAIN. Before you know it she'll be writing on here about erotic dreams about a certain red-head. Carot-top of course. That man's a beast.
But no I actually did get to meet Christina today but not because she wanted to...because she had to. Let me make that clear, she in NO WAY tried to find me in fact we have video evidence she didn't even talk to me for two hours...Yeah so myself and a good friend Arthur went to Christina's school at around 1 and followed her around the school through classes. At first we tried to sneak around her and see if we could try and film her secretly, it worked. However it worked so well that it got extremely creepy. For TWO HOURS she did not look around once to see who was behind her, and even in her Math class I sat in the front and asked questions and she still didn't notice! Kids nowadays...so that'll be up on teamcoco.com by tonight! Haha what your star fail...
You know I had seen Christina on SNL (Essenelle) and I thought she was funny and hilarious on the show but I always thought, there's no way she's like this in real life. Well get ready, because she absolutely is. Let's not get crazy though, she's NOTHING compared to me...that'd be insane, but she definitely is a hoot. AND as I was snooping in her room I asked her hand in guest-appearing on my show and...SHE SAID YES!!! So next week you can see Christina Essenelle on Conan! I'm guessing we'll have The Strokes as our musical guest...
Yeah so for all of you fans out there who want to get to know the real Christina, you just missed her because I've now corrupted her into this anti-NBC fighter so TAKE THAT. Oh and for all of you celebs (that's right I'm hip) out there reading this (THIS MEANS YOU LEO) come on down to SNL and steal her computer, I want to see how many posts we can get up here from other people. Then again it wouldn't be a blog at that point. Send me tweets if you think Christina should get a twitter/facebook. We can reel in another sucker...
Christina has the biggest crush on me. It's ridiculous she just can't seem to help herself. I mean when I first said hello to her we just started making-out and I told her that I was married and she bit the ring off my finger and spit it into the gutter. I was so shocked that it turned me on and we did it right there in the street. Fortunately we were in NYC at the time which is a pretty quiet town so no one saw us. Now we're engaged with the condom as a ring (still unused) and our wedding is tomorrow, none of you are invited. She's such a slut, I love it. My wife would NEVER do that for me, gosh.
But in all honesty (yes, that was a joke ^), Christina Essenelle is an amazing girl, she's really bright, funny, and is high of life, so tune in to SNL Saturdays at 11:30 on NBC (good luck finding it) and tune in for Conan next week for some more Essenelle ACTION. I'm really glad I got to spend the day here with Christina, it's a really fun experience and her and Julian are just perfect so for all you Julian haters (double the hipness watch out) WATCH OUT, cause Christina's got Conan backing her up 100%. I feel to popular...I get to hang out with Christina Essenelle OH EM GLEE.
By the way it's Christina's bff's birthday today (Nasim Pedrad) so go tweet some wishes. (Christina's buying her a cake as we speak)
