Concert

Who would've thought being on TV would get you recognized so easily. Someone recognized Keenan, Will, and Myself and we got to be down in the pit for the whole concert. Now of course Will ended up throwing up in front of the singer of Green River Ordinance but we still had a blast! After each show from each band they go back stage and sign autographs for whomever, and when Will, Keenan, and I went up their we got their autographs and they wanted ours as well!! Too funny. So I learned something about Will tonight. He is a raging SEX WHORE! I knew he was crazy sexual cause he makes those kind of jokes all the time but really Will?? Making out with 6, 6 different woman!! Then again you really can't blame him, he was incredibly drunk. Guess who wasn't driving last night...yeah. Speaking of driving, I'm pretty sure Fred is going to teach me how to drive. May God help him, because driving scares the hell out of me. And what's the point am I really going to have to drive in the city? No. But I guess if I wanna leave NYC. Which I only have once, and I didn't drive there either! I took a plane, and several busses, and a boat (ALASKA!) So here's the schedule for our next hosts and musical guests coming up

Tina Fey/ Justin Bieber
Joseph Gordon-Levitt/Dave Mathews Band
James Franco/Muse

I'm very VERY excited for Joseph Gordon-Levitt and James Franco because 1) I loved 500 Days of Summer, 2) Spider-Man was amazing, 3) They're both dead sexy. Finally we have some good musical guests too, I mean U2 screw you for cancelling at the last second and JBiebs isn't someone I want to be on SNL with. Speaking of beds, Julian's=love. Which reminds me, I never mentioned Julian's dogs did I? He has two dogs, one's a mini-husky (apparently called a puppy...yeah right) and the other looks like some new england dog I'm not sure which, I was never a breeder kind of person. The mini-husky is called VOLTRON, which is epic in itself, and the other little one is Balki who is the sweestest thing EVER, and sleeps with Julian and I in bed at night. But that's just my opinion. Speaking of opinions, another tabloid I found interesting.

CHRISTINA ESSENELLE SHINES IN SATURDAY NIGHT SPOTLIGHT

By Harold Coller

Think you had a rough childhood? Try being brought up by an evil overtaker who fed you a cup of goldfish a day. Christina Essenelle isn't just a girl with a troubled past, she's a miracle for 20 young children. Secretly sneaking into school she gained an education and rummaged food from off the streets for the rest of her 'family'. On September 3rd 2010, Essenelle was kidnapped by her own undertaker only to be rescued by co-stars Bill Hader, and ex-boyfriend Andy Samberg, and in that process the police stopped the madness spewing from the corrupted building and sent all the children to a different adoption center where 11 out of the 20 others have already been adopted due to press interference. During a Press Conference with the producer of Saturday Night Live, Lorne Michaels, Lorne stated "It's not where you end but where you start, and Miss Essenelle is a perfect example of that.". Christina became friends with the cast on August 12th and traveled to Alaska with them the week later to go for a surprise visit for Tina Fey who is hosting 'SNL' this Saturday. The entire cast, and Amy Poehler went and on the way home Will Forte had secretly filmed Christina performing for fun in front of the cast and sent the DVD to Lorne Michaels. She was accepted into the cast that very same day. The casting choices for 'SNL' have never been so dramatic as Essenelle's, ratings sky-rocketed, and critics were raving. Kimiko Corizani of the New York time raves, "She's beautiful, she's sincere, she's real, and on top of everything else she's hilarious. You know I'm talking about new cast member Christina Essenelle, literally pronounced S-N-L. She deserves to be there more than anyone else.". Some say Christina has hit her high point and a downward trend is imminent. However with guests like Tom Petty and the Heart Breakers and Jude Law, the episode overall would be pulled down because of those people, but every scenes Christina is in, makes the episode that much better. But how do the other cast members feel? Kristen Wiig, a member of the show for nearly 5 years has been in every single episode at least 4 times, is there competition between the girls for the spotlight? From off the street, Kristen Wiig responds to these claims, "You're all blowing the way out of proportion. Christina's my friend, not my competition, if anything we share scenes no one really has "The Lead" in a scene". She's hit her stride and has made friends with everyone on cast but things get better. The crushing loss for Christina Essenelle when her and Andy Samberg broke up, was short lived because Digital Short feauturette Julian Casablancas was there to hold her hand through the pain. About a week later they were seen holding hands on Ludlow and 65th. The new couple, deemed by other tabloids as 'Essenancas' has been living the high life, starting new fashion trends to boot. Christina Essenelle can be seen on Saturdays at 11:30 on NBC. Stayed tuned for more information on this rising new star in a bright wave, but will she crack in the lime light?  

Dear Harold Coller,

I refuse to crack. So begone, and do not promote Essenancas!!! Seriously!!

Sincerely,

Christina EssenELLE