I Wanna Rock Right NOW

Katy is back!! With a new hair cut...! Katy was so much fun when she'd sing for the show. I miss when she and Russel were on the show. Glad they're still together. Speaking of still being together Kristen and Fred are fighting again. Fun times.
Cold Open On the Record (Kristen, Bobby, Andy)
Monologue (Christina, Bill, Andy)
Pippa Visits the Queen (Taran, Bill, Fred, Andy, Abby, Jay, Keenan)
One Magical Night
Finnish Talk Show (Kristen, Paul)
Politics Nation with Al Sharpton
Update (Bill, Christina)
J-Pop Talk Show (Taran, Christina, Jason, Fred)
Doggie Duty (Jason, Kristen, Fred, Bill)
Sex and the City Finale
Digital Short: Best Friends (Nasim, Andy, Christina, Vanessa)
New Year's Eve Sequel (Abby, Jason, Kristen, Taran, Fred, Jay, Keenan, Bobby)

Steve Buscemi hosts SNL

Cold Open: Obama in One 
Monologue 
Frozen Mexican Dinner 
~Commercial~
Miley Cyrus Show 
Digital Short: Batman
~Commercial~ 
Dateline
Coach Bert 
~Commercial~
Update 
~Commercial~
Surprise Lady
Sex Ed Couples Therapy 
~Commercial~
Ornaments 
End Clap


Oh the show was wonderful! I'm sorry to those NBC and Hulu watchers that didn't get the see all of the awesomeness in the cold open, our camera men suck. But we've already fired enough camera men so thats that. Lorne is getting really frustrating at the tech people this year, sets have been broken, camera problems, hair pieces have not been put on well enough (sdhfbdsfsdfs) so tech people need to kick it up. However my tech man JUDE IS THE BEST!


Now I want your sex questions, let's get things awkward, I'll post the top 5 on here tomorrow. Bye kids!

Day 5 {Steve Buscemi}

One scene left and that's Frozen Mexican Dinner! And I'm not in it, which means I get to explain to you how much I loved Book of Mormon. Oh man, I've never laughed so hard. I immediately bought the soundtrack and plan to watch South Park because of it. Favorite song? Dunno, tie between "I believe" and "All-American Prophet" and "You and Me (but mostly me)". Ugh so amazing, Hitler in Spooky Mormon Hell Dream? AH SO FUNNY! OJ's lawyer? okay, Elder Cunningham is literally the cutest little fuck I've ever seen. "I am here for you" ??? AAHHH, the cutest. "Turn it Off" is such a good tap number and I love the chorus. "Turn it off, like a light switch, just go click, it's a cool little Mormon trick" The Africans are the funniest. Their little rude african jokes like "my whole village has AIDS" and "Sal Tlay Ka Siti (Salt Lake City)". Ah man, Elder Price has the most incredible, impeccable, beautiful, perfect voice. Ah, I can help but adore his voice!

Day 4 {Steve Buscemi}

Today we filmed Sex Ed Couples at 10AM and at 3PM we filmed Update. Two short casted scenes. Of which I'm in neither. I've been really behind on homework. I have an essay to write and everything...bleh not down for THAT. The Holiday Benefit show is today! I'm extremely nervous, I'm singing a song with Jules and then am doing improv with the SNL cast.

JULES AND IHS 3 TIMES TODAY.

AAAAHHH.

Day 3 {Steve Buscemi}

Today we filmed Dateline and the Digital Short and the Digital Short is hilarious. I was there at the creation of this idea. We (Andy, Jorma, and I) were watching some things Steve Buscemi were in and Vanessa walks by and says that he look like Gary Oldman and I think yeah maybe Officer Gordon.... and Andy had been thinking the exact same thing. So just expect that in the short. And Dateline is just creepy, AS IT SHOULD BE!

Dress rehearsal today! We just practiced some improv and tried to figure out what games we were going to play and what not. It wasn't that fun, I mean, we didn't get to play the games just work them out. It was very formal and businessy so, meh. Although all the Strokes came so I was content. Albert is growing the dankest beard. It's really beardy, I'm not a beard liking chick so thank God I'm with Jules. Speaking of Jules he's been hanging out with Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim. Their basically Julian's version of my Noel and Julian B.

Day 2 {Steve Buscemi}

Today we filmed Ornaments and Surprise Lady except those times are flipped cause after school I had to film the commercial shoot, meaning JULIAN BARRATT IS IN TOWN AGAIN! I missed that man, he's hysterical (in a good way). Speaking of my booshies, HEY! Are you guys excited for season 4?? I am, but if you have any thoughts and or comments, email Jude! He wants more shit to do so, give him a paper to grade or something, he gets bored.

Got the gang back together and did a promotional commercial! Oh it was so refreshing to go back to weird randomness. It started off with

CHRISTINA

Hi, I'm an American.

JULIAN B.

And I'm British.

NOEL

And I'm Indian.

CHRISTINA AND JULIAN

Wait what?

NOEL

Yeah, I'm Indian now.

JULIAN

No no you can't just BE Indian. It's something you're born with.

CHRISTINA

Yeah, kind of like the desire to watch television.

NOEL

Television you say?

CHRISTINA

Yes television. Have you heard of it?

NOEL

No...teach me the ways of your people.

JULIAN

Wait, you're not doing this because that's what you think all Indians are like are you?

NOEL

No, I just don't own a tele-whatsit.

~OR~

NOEL

Christina are you going to get away from that thing?

CHRISTINA

Julian's on the screen...!

JULIAN

And if you'll buy a new pair of steak-knives...

NOEL

Wow! I wish I could see Julian on TV all the time! (NOEL and CHRISTINA give the camera a dead-pan)

~OR~

JULIAN

Noel, happy birthday.

NOEL

Oh what'd you get me?

JULIAN

Something great, oh here it comes! (CHRISTINA wheels in a giant cake and out pops RICH FULCHER wearing a thong and nipple pasties)

NOEL

Ohh...

Such a fun time, can't wait till I go back for a new series! (?) 

Day 1 {Steve Buscemi}

I have a crazy busy week this week! Today I am finally doing that CoverGirl photoshoot, tomorrow I have a commercial shoot for when the Boosh goes on TV (December 22nd! SAVE THE DATE!) then Wednesday I have a dress rehearsal for a holiday benefit show SNL is performing in (NBC Charity Event), then Thursday is the event, Friday I have a hot date with Jules, Noel, Julian Barratt, and Kristen and we're going to go see Book of Mormon! and then of course, Steve Buscemi is hosting SNL. WOO EXCITEMENT! They filmed Miley Cyrus Show and Coach Bert. Not sure how it went cause I was at COVERGIRL!

And that was an experience and a half. I got there at 4PM and they are the most nice and kind people I've met. They got me coffee and did my hair and make-up and got me some outfits (that I unfortunately cannot keep) that I got to try on and then it was all under the spotlight from there. With 6 costume changes, 8 set changes, and 3 make-up emergencies I was out of there by 9PM, but hey I was being waited on hand and foot so I was content. And the lunch break was just devine. The food was all organic and delicious and I felt like I was eating healthier than I had in my entire life. It was a lot of fun, and I didn't get to see the final product but I'm sure it's awesome.

Jason Segel hosts SNL

Mitt Romney Cold Open
Monologue
~Commercial~
Regis and Kelly 
Kemper Pedic Bed 
~Commercial~
Kissing Family 
~Commercial~
Update
~Commercial~
Retirement Party
New Jack Thanksgiving 
~Commercial~
Digital Short: Chess 
Andre the Giant Gets an Ice Cream

~Commercial~
The Blue Jean Committee
End Clap


Man, our camera guys have been getting a lot of flack from the audience, poor guys. In case you saw my wig nearly falling off, yes I realized it too, and it was not intentional. Thank you so much for coming, Jason was fantastic the monologue spectacular the Muppets were a huge hit and I cannot thank you enough for sending Jude all these emails, you're giving him such a fun time thank you. Night folks!

This Generation

Doesn't know who Steve Buscemi is.

Miley Cyrus Show (Jason, Bobby, Vanessa, Keenan)
Coach Bert (Christina, Bobby, Taran, Jason, Keenan, Jay, Bill)
Sex Ed Couples Therapy (Paul)
Ornaments (Kristen)
Surprise Lady (Paul, Abby, Christina, Bill, Vanessa)
Update (Bobby, Keenan)
Monologue (Kristen, Christina, Jay, Keenan, Bobby, Andy, Nasim, Bill)
Dateline (Bill, Taran, Bobby, Jason, Kristen)
Cold Open: Obama in One (Fred)
Digital Short: Batman (Andy, Paul, Christina, Jason)
Frozen Mexican Dinner (Paul, Fred)

Day 5 {Jason Segel}

Hey! Today we filmed a late Update since Seth was out on the town all day yesterday. Like a butt, so like I said yesterday I saw Seth's mom and at the same time found out who Paul's like girl-fling is! What a coincidence, what a weird coincidence....hmm.

Weird, anyways good day folks! Went to the mall and dicked around with Jules. But had to get a good night's sleep cause my SAT is tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Day 4 {Jason Segel}

Today we filmed Regis and Kelly and Kemper Pedic, of which I am in both! However I play a small role at the end of Regis and Kelly whereas Kemper Pedic where I play the lead alongside Jason (segel) in this awesomely sexual commercial. It's all about masturbation and things got really funny on set while we were filming it. Jason's so damn funny, and really...friendly. I know that sounds unsurprising but it's just you think these people are all so nice and then they ACTUALLY are. Well, most of them. Jason's actually with me right now, yelling at the screen saying "HI! TELL THEM I SAY HI" and now he's mad that I wrote that instead of actually just letting him talk to the computer. I said he was friendly not logical. I went mo-pedding with Jason (segel), Julian, and Paul Rudd today! It was a lot of fun until we creepishly passed Seth's mom's house. Jeepers.

Day 3 {Jason Segal}

Today we filmed the Digital Short and Kissing Family! Kissing family is such a funny sketch just because kissing people makes other people feel uncomfortable and is always a crowd pleaser (really pleaser isn't a word? fine something that PLEASES A CROWD gosh I hate you English language)

I am obsessed with the Black Eyed Peas "Rock Your Body". It's so damn good, plus I really like it because Fergie doesn't sound like Fergie, and therefore I like it. Sorry, just not my favorite sound. Anyways, back to things I understand: Digital Short is super weird. Honestly, I feel like Andy, Kiv, and Jorma have been lacking. Andy's a little too busy nowadays and can't be in any of the scenes and has talked to Seth about being in little to no scenes EVER. Andy, oh, Andy don't pull a Seth, you're not going to be Weekend Update anchor I can almost guarantee it. Seth wouldn't give up that job for anything in the world (other than money) so...good luck.

Kissing Family also includes Paul Rudd! Ha ha, I love that Paul is in all these scenes! He's such a joy...speaking of joys it's DATE NIGHT! Jules, Kristen, Fred, and me went to go see Limitless...................................OH MAN. It was phenomenal. I'm not just saying that because I'm friends with Bradley Cooper and Robert De Niro but because it was a really fantastic movie with a completely different plot that I haven't ever seen before, it was...it was so great! Such a cool concept and if the director of cinematography doesn't get an Emmy or better then I don't know what this world has come to.

Day 2 {Jason Segal}

Today we filmed Andre the Giant and the Blue Jean Committee. Funnily enough Paul (Rudd) showed up to do the Blue Jean Committee. I was suppose to be in that sketch as a background character but I opted out because I am deathly deathly ill. Paul actually took my place in the scene. I think I have food poisoning, I've been throwing up since 6PM yesterday to a point where I just slept in the bathroom while Jules kept checking up on me, I had the runs and then became delirious because of a fever of 102. I think I hallucinated at a few points. I kept on imagining what was happening in my stomach and all I saw was the footrest dog from Beauty and the Beast attacking vitamin water men and women. Then I dreamt (ish, I didn't really sleep, and what do you MEAN dreamt isn't a word? dreamed? really? screw you English language you're so damn confusing) that the reason why I was sick was because my body parts were sick so in my dream I got new body parts and then I was fine.

Sounds like Noel Fielding's head right there.

Speaking of Noel he visited me today! I'm so happy he's been living in NY but he leaves for London all the time so I don't see him as much but I do see him very often now. I love it. Picture of the day is of NOELIOOOOOO

Day 1 {Jason Segel}

Today we filmed Retirement Party and New Jack Thanksgiving. I'm not a fan of the retirement party episode but the new jack thanksgiving is really funny. I think Seth got the hint from Emma Stone's and Charlie Day's performances that scenes with more SNL cast members get better reviews. By the way I agree with you, Emma Stone's second performance on SNL was better than her first.

Ugh, school is the worst. I have so much homework that it's eating into everything else I do. By the way THIS IS THE LAST WEEK TO SEE ME ON BROADWAY! SO COME ON DOWN! Oh you know what was a lot of fun? Paul Rudd is in NYC this week so he's been living in the guest suites upstairs. I love Paul he's the funniest, he barged into my room (like most people do nowadays) and attacked me on my bed. Fortunately Jules was there so Paul wasn't on for long. Then we went out for coffee and had to take a picture for this blog  since I've been squelching on the pictures.

Night ya'll!

Jay's Son

JASON SEGEL!

Mitt Romney Cold Open (Jason, Kristen, Jay, Taran)
Monologue
Regis and Kelly (Nasim, Paul, Keenan, Jason, Bobby, Bill, Fred, Taran, Abby, Jay, Christina)
Kemper Pedic Bed (Christina)
Kissing Family (Fred, Kristen, Christina, Andy, Jay, Bill)
Update
Retirement Party (Paul, Keenan, Vanessa, Fred, Nasim, Taran, Kristen, Jay, Bobby)
New Jack Thanksgiving (Bobby, Vanessa, Abby, Nasim, Keenan, Jay, Andy, Kristen, Fred)
Digital Short: Chess (Christina, Kristen, Nasim, Andy)
The Blue Jean Committee (Keenan, Fred, Jason, Kristen, Abby, Christina, Vanessa, Andy, Taran, Bobby, Bill)
Andre the Giant Gets an Ice Cream

Snowpocalypse 2011

Such a great day! Jules and I were on the chair lift to get to chair 12 which leads to a single BLACK DIAMOND and we're of course freakin out, thinking what are we doing, we're just beginners, we're gonna die. I started texting some people saying if I die that they should move on and that I loved them, and it's when I'm saying goodbye to Julian when I hear someone behind us go "Dude, whatever, snowpocalypse 2011 NO REGRETS, CHAIR 12!!!!!!!" and Julian and I just look at each other and start laughing. We then turn around and yell with them "BALLS TO THE WALL, GO BIG OR GO HOME, CHAIR 12!!!!!!"

Oh the people we meet.

The slope was insane, it was all downhill with trees and bumps and ROCKS. Rocks are the worst, I felt bad for my board cause I thought it was going to break at one point. You know what's the worst? Getting off the chair lift. I 100% hate it. I always fall into Julian and yeah it's all cute falling on each other and laughing but then it's not cute when other people are falling on top of you and their boards and skis are smacking into your face. No matter where I am, I will always fall off the chair lift.

Always.

SEND MORE EMAILS.

I'LL BE HOME TOMORROW.









SNOWPOCALYPSE.

Happy Thanksgiving 2011!

Thanksgiving with just Jules and I is the coolest. We didn't do much thanksgiving-y stuff other than cooking all day in our beauteous condo-hotel room thing. It's nice having Jules working with me, we work like clockwork. I'm over here he's over there it's like we're ninjas who use either's backs to kill others. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE. White ninjas. Jules and Christina...white ninjas.

We still went snowboarding today and went on some crazy level 7 slopes (the level right before BLACK DIAMOND) and I fell down pretty badly but I'm fine. Jules is getting better. He now goes down slightly faster and doesn't fall AS much. Eventually he'll beat me down the mountain and I wont have to sit and wait for him to get down...eventually. Picture of the day is of Julian when we took a break from this crazy level 7 steep-as-hell slope.

For dinner we cooked a turkey, pumpkin pie, candied yams, cranberry sauce, gravy, mashed potatoes, biscuits, and stuffing. It was such a well slaved over meal that I ate every bite. Minus the mashed potatoes because I don't like them. By the way thank you for emailing me/Jude!! His replies are the best so if you haven't already emailed, GET ON IT! Question is....what's your favorite breakfast and why?

It's time to be thankful, and I'm thankful for all of you folks, cause if you never read this blog I would just be some girl on SNL. Thank you for the interviews, TV opportunities, photo shoots, and music videos. None of this could be achieved without the help of my fans so thank you so much. I'm grateful, don't ever doubt that. I'm probably one of the most grateful people you'll ever meet.

LIARS!

It's hard to have an extraordinarily fun time when people are LYING to you left and right! SO, today Julian and I get to the slopes and we wanted to get more lift tickets so, we ask a lady how much two three day lift tickets are worth, she says $99. I'm thinking, alright, expensive, but whatever. So we go to the desk and go to pay for everything and it's $340. Now I wouldn't have noticed anything wrong with that because I'm horrible at math but Jules as quick as a whip goes,

JULIAN

Wait a minute, how does that add up?

GUY

Well it's $170 for a three day lift ticket...

JULIAN

No no, the lady over there told us it was $99 for a three day lift ticket.

GUY

What lady?

JULIAN

(goes over to woman and drags her over to the GUY) Her!

GUY

Melanie how much are three day lift tickets?

MELANIE

$99!

GUY

They're $170!

MELANIE

Oh...

And that was the first liar. Then tonight Jules and I wanted to go to dinner in the village so we asked the front desk (A man named Fabrizio Nolan) if they could get us a shuttle to the restaurant. They said sure and that the shuttle was located at a certain location. So, we went there. No damn shuttle was there. So we went back and asked where it was again and Fabrizio Nolan gave us another location. Nothing was there either! So we just found a taxi (taxi man Ted was our driver or now T-swag because we love him so much) and went to the restaurant. Here comes in liar #3. The lady told us we had lake view from the restaurant. WE DIDN'T. Then on the shuttle back (yeah it finally showed up) and the man in the front seat was listening to our conversation then LIED about no listening.

Literally everyone I know is a liar.

Maybe not everyone...

Denver, Colorado

That's right, Jules and I are hitting the slopes in Denver! Today (Tuesday cause I know this is late and time differency) we fly in at around 2PM and immediately got our snowboards and lift tickets. Now, Julian has snowboarded once before when he was 18 so I didn't really expect him to be God awful at snowboarding until we got to the top of a mountain. He got off the lift fine, then trying to get down the mountain was just impossible for him. He didn't know how to stop! So he sledded down and we bought some private lessons for the both of us. I knew how to snowboard because in NY, the slopes there are all really small so it's easy to master them, and it's easy to get a board when they are literally just planks of wood with your feet tied to them. Hey, what can I say I'm a DIY girl.

Alan was our instructor from Brasil and actually went to the Strokes concert not too long ago! He was very nice and an amazing instructor. Alan gave Julian the will to keep snowboarding cause I'll tell you, after that first run, Jules was not a happy camper.

If you...

could punch one celebrity in the face who would it be?

I WANT TO KNOW! I have (as a requirement for all SNL cast members) an assistant who has been bored these past few weeks because I've been opting out of episodes. And I really don't want to not pay him because I'm sure he's not doing so well financially (as we all are in this God awful economy) so I've made him come in this week so answer my emails. SO, his name is Jude and he's from LONDONNNNNN! So, ask him any questions and he'll answer.

HELP HIM OUT!

Aaaaand Back!

Sorry about that folks, yes I know I was absent from school the same amount of time I was absent from my blog. But I'm back now! Jules and I had some soul searching to do. But now everything is okay, the bodies are stowed away (TITT), and I'm ready to start living again. Jules and I were watching TV doing our normal assholes activities of commenting on everyone's faults (a regular activity practiced online and in the comfort's of our home) when Bill comes walking in, completely distraught with tears streaming down his face. His mother had just died from breast cancer. That is just devastating, I've never seen Bill so upset in my life and rightfully so. Because of this traumatic event SNL (and myself personally) have donated 50,000 to American Breast Cancer Society. May God Bless every victim and I really do hope they find a cure, or at least some more ways to prolong their lives. Any kind of cancer is really awful so the fact that someone who is so close to me has died from it is really just devastating.

Our prayers are with you Hader household.

EEEEEK!

WHY CAN'T I FIND TIME TO WRITE IN THIS THING!

I DIDN'T PARTICIPATE IN EMMA STONE'S WEEK I'M SORRY.



She's still a lovely person, I'm just so damn busy.

Charlie Day hosts SNL

HERE'S THE LINE-UP!


Gaddafi Cold Open
Monologue
Kardashian Divorce Special 
~Commercial~
Ask Dr. Oz 
Greek Gods 
~Commercial~
Gettin' Freaky with Cee Lo
Comedy Tour 2 
~Commercial~
Update 
~Commercial~Dolphin Movie 
Crime Scene
~Commercial~
End Clap


My day has been...hectic. I had a matinee showing (fantastic[haha it looks like manatee showing]) at 2PM which I showed up to get ready for at 12:30PM then hung out with Jules till 6PM getting rid of gift cards and giving them to people. I bought all this crap from Toys R Us cause I got a $50 gift certificate for Christmas so I decided, hey I'm not going to use any of these toys might as well donate them. So, I did. Yeah low key awesome, no big deal. Hope there are some kids there that love playing board games and detective stuff. Cause thats what they got. 


SNL SHOW WAS GREAT! Charlie Day really out done himself, and so did the cast. With such a big bundling of people for scenes we maintained ourselves pretty well. 

Day 5 {Charlie Day}

HAPPY VETERANS DAY! Really, thank you to all the troops, thank you to the navy, army, coast guard, air force etc. etc. Even the military's water boy. Thank you, because not everyone has the balls to go and protect our country like that. Sure taking a life is awful and should never be practiced but it's something we're fighting for, it to protect us and I respect that. Also it's 11/11/11 11:11 and I'm making my grand wish. Only at 11:11PM though because I only believe in having a little ultimate power.

Today was a great day. I woke up up at 9:30AM in Jules' arms and made a peanut-butter and nutella toasted sandwich for the both of us, then took a shower, then went to go play BINGO. Yup, I promised Julian I would so we did. Grand ol' time

ANNOUNCER

B16......B16.....

JULIAN

BINGO BITCHES!

CHRISTINA

HA HA! TAKE THAT WRINKLES.

Fortunately this happened DURING the Veteran's day breakfast so most of the oldies in there were completely comatose non-veteran oldies so I felt no remorse in beating down an old person at (practically) their own game. For someone who has no older relatives (or relatives period) I found the people at Sunny Rise Retirement Home charming and timeless. Well, the people in the bingo room were realllllllly medicated so not them so much, but in the other rooms, much nicer folks. One was in WW2 and was reliving military tales to me...I think that's so damn cool! I wish I had grandparents who were like that. Or parents for that matter.

After that we went out to go see Jules' friend's show at the Panathon (where the picture of the day is from...aka a Heineken ad) which was FANTASTIC. I love going out to see smaller bands because there's no bs, it's just music. Wish bigger artists could be the same, The Strokes (I believe) stay true to that.

Day 4 {Charlie Day}

Since all the scenes this week are long and have a lot of people in them, today, we finished our filming! (plus we're not allowed to work on Veterans day so...that's another reason why too) So it was just Update for today and I'm bringing back one of my favorite characters and hopefully one of yours too!

We have another show tonight! Come on down and see the show it's hilarious and I'M IN IT! AH! SEATING IS LIMITED SO BUY YOUR TICKETS SOON!! We've been sold out so far so GET TICKETS FAST! Jules is the cutest, for every show he's been sending me these giant bouquets of flowers. That boy knows how to make me smile. I've been very bitter this week because of the show and because of SNL. It is most likely from my lack of sleep but I've just been snapping at people. I yelled at a girl in my Econ class for getting a higher grade than me. I yelled at Jules for looking at a wall. I yelled at Noel for texting me four times instead of three because "threes a magic number YOU RUINED MY WEEK WITH YOUR BAD LUCK". Either I'm bitter or I'm going crazy.

Either way THERE'S STILL A SHOW TONIGHT FOLKS!!

Day 3 {Charlie Day}

Today we filmed Greek Gods at 10AM and Dr. Oz at 3PM. I read over the Dr. Oz skit and it's funny, really funny. Seth this episode has really outdone himself however he's given a lot of work to Lorne because all the scenes have a shit ton of people in the so it's going to be (and has been) extremely difficult to get everyone to focus, get their lines right, their blocking right, and to give 110% in energy.

I was chilling in my room (which is near impossible since I'm at play practice, school, and filming 99.9% of the time) today with Jules just listening to theme of scary movies and seeing which one scared us the most. Winner was definitely Sleepy Hollow theme song. It's so chilling and long and NOT overplayed and popular. I highly recommend. However Pennywise the Clown's own personal theme was really freakish as well. Just because it starts off really nice and then gets creepy as fuck. There's a holiday SNL benefit show coming up! Please come see it, it's for a good cause so come one come all!

Picture of the day is of Albert at Stella McCartneys FOR FUN AND GAMES AND MERRIMENT DON'T KID YOURSELVES.

Day 2 {Charlie Day}

That's right it's a sex bank drop off your old skank 

Skanky tank bank for the cash flow supa dank

Hided your crank, or make room for your purple drank

Its dank sex bank, sex bank 

Danky dank dank song. Super fuckin' weird danky dank super skank. Today I got to get out of school for some filmin! They filmed Comedy Tour at 10AM and Gettin' Freakay at 3PM. Comedy Tour we've done before (hence the 2 part) and it was really funny, but this time we're adding EVERYONE instead of just having the four guys do funny bits. First time meeting/working with Charlie and he's just so damn nice. Really, he's easy to work with and all he wants to do is have fun so I'M DOWN. This is what I love about show business you meet so so so many new people and almost all of them are nice instead arrogant assholes. 

I've become a lot closer to Jimmy, Amy, and Parns recently. We've been hanging out a bunch (whenever possible [and with Jules as well, but it's hard to become closer to him since we're practically glued together as it is]) I just love Parns, everything he says is just so damn funny. We were about to fall asleep last night (it was about 3AM and we were talking) and Parns starts singing Sweeney Todd songs but changing the words and since we were so tired everything was just so damn funny. Good times, goooooood times. 

Day 1 {Charlie Day}

Whenever I come back

The air on railroads, is making the same sound

And the shop fronts on holly

 Are dirty words are asterisks in for the vowels

And we peered the window

Bottoms on barstools

People ending the same

When Christ is inflating

Inflating

Today we filmed Dolphin Movie and Crime Scene! Yup Mondays are not my days to have any filming to do, however I am in that damn play so I've had practice all day...pick up rehearsals are the bestest. I had a dream that the director told me he hated me and that I should stop wearing glasses on stage and that my tights had runs in them and if I didn't stop he'd cut me from the show. 

I woke up thinking that that could've been real life. Ahhhh, MUST DOUBLE CHECK MY LINES.

Take them DOWN

CHARLIE DAY (IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA [MY FAVORITE SHOW NOT ON HULU]) IS HOSTING SNL THIS WEEK.

HERE ARE THE SCENES.

Gaddafi Cold Open (Fred)
Kardashian Divorce Special (Nasim, Kristen, Christina, Abby, Taran, Andy, Jay)
Ask Dr. Oz (Bill)
Gettin' Freaky with Cee Lo (Paul, Jay, Bobby)
Greek Gods (Paul, Bobby, Jason, Bill, Vanessa, Jay, Taran, Christina, Vanessa, Andy, Keenan, Nasim, Kristen, Fred)
Dolphin Movie (Keenan, Taran, Kristen, Paul)
Update (Christina, Bill)
Comedy Tour 2 (Paul, Keenan, Jason, Vanessa, Bobby, Nasim, Kristen, Fred, Seth, Taran, Bill, Andy, Christina)
Crime Scene (Jason, Bill, Bobby)

Really big fucking scenes, oh! the show last night (the play) was FANTASTIC! Got lots of flowers, thank you everyone you're really amazing people. Come see me all this week, next, and the next!

Brasil

I welcome you from Brasil!! THERE ARE SO MANY DAMN BUGS HERE WHAT IS THIS. I've never seen so many gatherings of mosquitos, dragon flies, and lizards (I know not a bug but they're everywhere as well). I unfortunately am only here for a few hours, but at least it's SUNNY! 

Here are some pictures! (By the way Argentina show was fantastic)

Gotta Go to

So in case you haven't noticed I've just been recounting a story to you all every post because obviously I can't write what happened and I don't really want to just because it's all the same. PRACTICE SCENES. GET NOTES. Oh and happy Thursday everyone. Or should I say

HAPPY THURSDAY ARGENTINA! Ah this place is so fuckin' cool. It's like a desert yet coldish. I'm surprised at the amount of poor people here, like kids running around in the streets naked poor. Hell, maybe they're not poor and they're just really excited kids, who knows, but all I know is that I saw kids that LOOK poor. I'm really happy to be taking this break from Broadway and go back to Jules. We went on a day date to a museum, then to some rose gardens, then got pizza for lunch and got some cookies and had a little heart to heart then went to the show! Tomorrow is Brasil and then I'm back home while they stay in Brasil (Sao Paulo).

ROCKIN!

Yippy Yi Yo Kai Yay

Kai is the new props guy and he's literally the shyest person I've ever met. We've been trying to include him in all these activities and he thinks we're hilarious (we meaning the costumes girls and props guys) he just refuses to speak. I love him though, I get so protective over him when the actors get all cocky and seniority-ish. I watched Kai for some cream cheese and our Tony knocked his hand away saying he had more "seniority" than he, so I slapped our Tony back and told him to grow up.

THE NERVE OF SOME PEOPLE....


THE NOISE.

News Day!

Tuesday. I am clever. Today we ran the whole show and it's timed at 2 hours and 10 minutes, which is apparently good for a Broadway show. I know if we ever did an SNL episode that was 2 hours long I'd freak out. So I've been becoming really good friends with the costumes and make-up girls. They're so sweet, it's Megan, Brielle, Elizabeth, and Taylor. I LOVE THEM. They're all mean to this one chick they don't like (Anna) and I think it's pretty hilarious. I mean, I feel bad for the girl, but it's none of my business. Megan did a henna on my hand...fuckin' love it. Love them alllllllllllllllllllllllll

TRUST ME I KNOW THESE POSTS ARE HORRID.

HALLOWEEN 2011 NO REGRETS

NO MORE EGG POSTS! That doesn't mean the titles aren't going to be any less stupider. Staying at the theatre till 10PM every night is the worst, especially on Halloween. I have had no social life for the past week and I won't be having one for this one too. I got to wear my Halloween costume (Vlad the Impaler; thanks to Noel Fielding) at school and chased a lot of people around which was a lot of fun, but then it was straight to the theatre after that and into my Grand Duchess costume. (which is still forever changing, now my hair is on the other side, oy ve) Jules and I go to dinner now every night for my 45 minute break and picks me up after and I'm not gonna lie, being this distanced from him really sucks. I really miss him, and Nasim, and Ryan, and Seth, and Jason, and Noel. I see Nasim at school so that's good but Jules always wants to pull me out of class to hang out and I really can't miss anymore school than I already have. Dinner dates are a lot of fun though.

There's been a lot of drama going around the theatre with people hiding other's costumes and placing bricks inside briefcases to strain out the Hendersons and...it's ridiculous. Grow up, these are professional actors and they're doing such childish things. I hope they read this so they can man up and stop the petty bs cause I'm sick of it. I'm also really fucking tired.

Suned Egg

These egg posts are really just getting stinky. Haha I'm just hilarious. GOSH, I SHOULD BE A COMEDIAN.

Sorry, I've been so damn stressed, we just took publicity photos for YCTIWY. Yeah and YCTIWY just rolls right off the damn tongue. Ah well, they're auditoning for Fiddler on the Roof soon so we'll see how this play goes then I'll do that. Am I crazy? JUST A LITTLE. WOOO.

Today has been pretty nice actually. We had a benefit for Breast Cancer Benefit at NBC and got some big donations (around $30,000) and it was a lot of fun, I was with Seth a lot. I'm telling you, Seth drinks but rarely. So when he gets hammered it's a fucking PARTY. Seriously, Seth is the funniest drunk I've ever encountered.

Oh so my hair for the play is really really curly and so I get to have someone do that everyday and I must confess, having curly hair is the coolest thing in the world. You natural born curly haired people are so damn lucky you have no idea.

Sat Ur Egg

Kind of like Saturday but not really. There's no SNL this week BUT the week after is Charlie Day so, I'm content. This week has been really crazy, but a good crazy. I like being busy but today has just been madness. We stayed at the theatre from 9AM to 9PM doing run throughs with the tech people and what not. I must've gotten 8 new costumes today. My hair style probably changed 8 more times and overall everything changed. The director changes his mind every 10 seconds and what he likes and what not. It's madness. Jules has been with me as much as he 1)can and 2)is allowed to. He did get kicked out today because he wasn't on crew so they didn't want any distractions there. Luke is a mad man. Yesterday's post was a little bare but last night Jules and I had a lovely candlelit dinner in my apartment. I love that boy, I really and truly do. Here's a pic

LOVE YOU ALL. FOR SHO BOYZ.

Witchcraft

I was GOING to call this post Fried Egg (because it sounds like Friday) BUT I GUESS NOT. Apparently I already have a post called Fried Egg Fried Egg. Which I'm sure is a parody of that stupid Friday song by Rebecca Black.

Fun fun fun.

Flying Anus

Noel's first 3 tweets from today are from me, the last one was him. I love that I can write whatever and people will think it's him, that's amazing. I apologize for the lack of information and detail in these posts but seriously guys, next week will be even worse. I stay till rehearsal GUARANTEED till 10PM, then we might even have to stay later. My director is starting to not hate me anymore, although I'm sure someone will do something that'll get me in trouble soon so who knows. I swear my stomach is going to hate me, I've been eating so horribly this week because of my access to places. We're required to give our keys to Luke (director) so we can't drive anywhere, so sometimes I get people's orders and run to 711 or McDonalds which are the only places that are close to where I am.

Beef Jerky and cereal for life.

I'm super stoked for Brasil, like, really fucking stoked. HEY TUMBLR I LOVE YOU TOO. There is a tumblr called FuckYeahTheStrokesGirls.tumblr.com which is really cool. It consists of Illy (Nikolai's girlfriend), Drew Barrymore (Fab's ex), Regina Spektor (Jules' ex, yeah I gotta compete with that shit), Agyness, (Albert's ex) and me! (Jules' girlfriend) Yeah fun times.

Night kids!  

Matching Fetus Clothes

Another inside joke between Jason and I. You can only imagine what goes on in our minds. Today was awesome! Another long work day. My dinner consisted of beef jerky, cinnamon toast crunch, 3 Musketeers, 2 Cream Sodas, and an Ice Tea. I drink a LOT. I dunno, I like the feeling of my body's left over food being flushed away. Anyways so yeah, Jules unfortunately couldn't come to this rehearsal because he had some project to do. Ah well, Noel came. We had a lot of fun, we walked to 711 and got some dinner, (Root beer, bacon, and gum), went to Noel's for a bit (I wasn't running anything today so I didn't have to be there the entire time but I did have to stay for the end starting 3/4 of the way through), and just had a grand ol' time.

If I could open my arms

And span the length of the isle of Manhattan

I'd bring it to where you are

The king of lake of the East River and Hudson

If I could open my mouth

Wide enough for a marching band to march out

They would make you name sing

And bend through alleys and bounce off all the buildings.

~

I wish we could open our eyes

To see in all directions at the same time

Oh, what a beautiful view

If you were never aware of what was around you

And it is true what you said

That I live like a hermit in my own head

But when the sun shines again

I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in

~

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole

Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound

But while you debate half empty or half full

It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown

The Strokes and I are going to Brasil soon! BRASIIIIIIL! Another country I get to check off my, WENT THERE! list. Jules says it's beautiful there.

I'll be the judge of that.

Eggs in my Canoli

This title makes a little bit of sense. So I had yet another play rehearsal, but I wasn't really needed since they were running act 1 and I'm only in act 2 scene 2 so...I helped props go get some schtuff with Jules. Then after we went to dinner with Noel and Matt Berry! And YES, there were eggs in my canoli. It was a great dinner actually, everyone got along, DRAMA FREE. So many inside jokes have come from tonight. THE CLAW....BEAR CLAW. Batman's driving abilities. Testing in Hawaii. Haha, oh, Matt brought a contract over, Noel and I are officially on The I.T. Crowd. WOO!

The End

has noooooooo end. No that's not the lyric of the day. This is

I'm a killer, cold and wrathful

                                        Silent sleeper, I've been inside your bedroom

I've murdered half the town

Left you love notes on their headstones

I'll fill the graveyards until I have you

Moonlight walking, I smell your softness

Carnivorous and lusting to track you down among the pines.

I want you stuffed into my mouth

Hold you down and tear you open, live inside you 

Love, I'd never hurt you.

But I'll grind against your bones until our marrows mix

I will eat you slowly...

I feel like a radio station, and that was..........with...........The play opens up in 10 days. I'm FREAKIN' OUT MAN. I've got play practice all this week till 8PM then I've got it all next week till 10:30PM...Either there's no episode for me next week or I'm rockin' the 10AM SNL rehearsals. By the way homecoming was great in case ya'll were wondering. 

365

I plan on having 365 posts or more. Most likely more just because each month doens't have exactly 28, 30, or 31 posts in it. I love having Noel here. Or should I say....bishop? Gosh I am so freakin' cheesy. I've been talking to some of my spanish/mexican fans on here. I'm sorry if my grammar is horrible mais, je parle francais, pas espagnol. Je suis desolee...

Face check I walk this beach

                                                I'm frying in the heat in the cauldron stir me

Chop down my diamond teeth I aint got

The simple things in life have been lost

You have got to witness

This is your last retreat

My last repeatAll my friends are as sharp as razors

Cut you down if you touch the faders

High class girls hung in elevators

Now we have got the floor

Get loose get loose

No SNL this week because of Halloween unfortunately. Speaking of Halloween, Noel gave me his Vlad the Impaler costume so I'm going to wear that for Halloween. I'm more interested in the character than the costume, but it is nonetheless hilarious. I'm going to ask the make-up and hair department to do my hair black and short. They're going to give me a wig hopefully (definitely not cut it, that'd be horrid). But I am nonetheless excited! Went for a night on the town with Noel! Went clubbin' and partyin'. Night well spent indeed. 

Anna Faris hosts SNL

Real human being

and a real hero

Real human being

and a real hero

Real human being

and a real hero

Real human being

and a real hero

Real human being

I might just now have lyrics of the day. But I refuse to give you the song and artist! Happy saturday. Since I am the worst human on the planet I forgot to tell you some juicy news. Well not really juicy just cute. Homecoming is tonight! I'm of course going with Julian, Nasim with Paul, Abby alone and Vanessa with Taran. By the way yes, Nasim and Paul are still in a relationship. Good for them. I know they're hard to follow since they break up once every 3 months.

Strokes interview! It's been too long, I reread what I wrote after The Strokes Euro-tour and almost cried. Although I did laugh at one part:

It's funny I view friendships now as sort of a game of chess.Where Julian and I are king and queen (lovers), Nick and Nasim are my bishops (best friends), Fab and Seth are my knights (protectors/best friends), Albert and Jason are my castles (home bases/good friends) and then everyone else are pawns (good friends). And that whole little schpeal in no way means I favor Nick, Fab, or Albert over Nikolai I just happen to talk to them more. But it definitely means I favor Julian over them, sorry! *sigh* 


I can't believe how much that's changed. I mean, Jules and I are still king and queen (lovers), but now Noel and Nasim are my bishops (best friends), Nick and Seth are my knights (protectors/best friends), Fab and Jason are my castles (home bases/good friends) and then everyone else are pawns (good friends). Oh by the way, here's the line-up for tonight!


Bloomberg Cold Open 
Monologue 

Manuel Ortiz 

~Commercial~
What's Wrong with Tanya?!
Digital Short 

~Commercial~
GOP Debate

~Commercial~
Update 

~Commercial~
J-Pop American Fun Time Now 

~Commercial~
Lord Wyndemere
Book Store

End Clap


~Time Elapse~


Oh my God what a fantastic show. Vanessa stumbled on some lines but all was well otherwise. After party was....crazy. Nasim passed out around 2AM and people were taking pictures with her, then Abby kept telling people she was a mermaid while she flirted with anyone with a pulse, Bill told Jules and I that we were the most unlikely couple but his favorite, then Lorne showed up (it was like a teacher catching you cheating on a test, but he didn't say anything) and so Jules and I talked to him with Kristen and Vanessa. The party was amazingly crazy. I broke someone's glasses and now I owe them big money...Nick was there for a bit but left because he didn't like the "smell of things" or whatever that means. Ah...it was just a good night.

oh and NOEL FIELDING NOW LIVES IN NEW YORK CITY!

Day 5 {Anna Faris}

I descended a dusty gravel ridge

Beneath the Bixby Canyon Bridge

Until I eventually arrived

At the place where your soul had died

Barefoot in the shallow creek

I grabbed some stones from underneath

And waited for you to speak to me

~

And the silence become to very clear

That you had long ago disappeared

I cursed myself of being surprised

That this didn't play like it did in my mind

All the way from San Francisco

As I chased the end of your road

Cause I've still got miles to go

God I love that song. It's so beautiful especially when you listen to it alone. Speaking of lyrics to great songs, I was at the park today with Jules and I took some coal from the mini-grills and wrote down some lyrics. My favorite of course was: "I say the right things but act the wrong way I like you right here but I cannot stay. I watch your TV forget what I'm told, they're lying too young and they're too old. I make it you see, I'm never so pleased, pretend to be nice though I can be mean. I missed the last bus, I'll take the next train, I tried by you see it's hard to explain" Ah, beauteous. Got my SAT scores. Not as I as I wanted but I did well nonetheless. For someone busy as heck I got a pretty nice score. I am so in love with Jules at the moment. I love those little revivals we all have. They are so welcomed in my life, because when people start to become old comfortable shoes you have to spice things up. And that's what we did! So now we're back to being crazed high heels. 

SNL is tomorrow. WHO'S EXCITED?!

Day 4 {Anna Faris}

Today we filmed Update and Bookstore. Neither of which I am in, and therefore, I don't care. Sorry, not in the mood today. I am going to a concert today so I will be in the mood soon. Last night was some heavy stuff, ate a cookie pie with frosting on it, and cried for a bit. But we're fine, woke-up to some delicious breakfast. Woke up at 9AM too. I need to stop missing my morning classes.

I think it's hilarious that I'm in the monologue and Abby is not, just goes to show, I can act as a better blonde retard, than she can be.

Picture of the day is of Jules in front of a billboard in the SNL living room.

Day 3 {Anna Faris}

J Pop American Fun Time Now!


Such a ridiculously funny scene I'm doing with Taran. I love it, and Anna Faris? Oh God she's amazing. So damn funny and willing try to anything, she reminds me a lot of Kristen, just willing to put herself out there.

I've had quite the crazy day today in case any of you watched CBS. It started off with me missing my alarm by an hour (sorry 1st class of the day) then I went through my day as normal, then after school Jules was sitting in my beautiful red car and I said hello and he gives me the silent treatment. He's been doing this since our shower yesterday. I had no idea why and it was really bothering me. I told him, if there's a problem he should vocalize it so I can fix it, but no I had to play some mind-game with him to figure out what the hell was going on. So, I called Noel cause I wasn't going to sit in silence on the way home. He said he's getting an apartment in NYC next week! WOO! Then after that I went upstairs, talked to Nasim about Jules trying to see what she had to say and I asked her to talk to him and see if he responds to her. He did. So it was just me and not some don't-speak holiday. Ugh, so I left NBC and asked to hang out with Ryan (Gosling) because I didn't want to be around NBC. So we hung out for a bit and then he took me SECRETLY to CBS for an interview I was WILLING to give. It was a great interview, I really did enjoy myself. After that Ryan and I went and got dinner then we saw a live comedy show! It was great, I love improv. Then I got back around 10:30PM and prepared my conscious for Julian if he was still not talking to me.

He was still not talking to me.

I kept asking him to talk to me and he wouldn't say anything but instead he leaned in for a kiss, so I pushed him off. Saying that I didn't want to kiss someone who wouldn't communicate with me. So he stopped and sat on the bed. I sat down next to him and broke down and he finally confessed what was wrong, TIAL which was something that had to do with me saying something that reminded him of a horrible event in his past. I'm glad we got past this, because I don't know what I would do without Jules. However the way he went about teaching me this lesson was kinda weird. Ah well, to each his own, we all learn differently.

Day 2 {Anna Faris}

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAACK! I had a wonderful trip, and I also had a wonderful shower today. It was similar to a scene in Blue Valentine but without the depressing part of bitchy Michelle Williams and what not (her character). It was really raw, emotional, and passionate, something I missed yet didn't even realize I missed it. It had been...2 weeks? TOO LONG

Anyways, today they filmed Bloomberg and Manuel Ortiz. I really don't like Manuel Ortiz, it's been over-done so so so many times. And I'm never in it so there's that. I've been asked to come on Nevermind the Buzzcocks again! I might, I'm not sure to be honest. I love them, but I really am busy. Maybe when I'm doing I.T. Crowd I can stop for a second and do some Buzzcocks but for now I can't. Can't wait till I get to film with Anna tomorrow!

Day 1 {Anna Faris}

Today we filmed yet another GOP Debate and What's Wrong with Tanya?! Now I really love the What's Wrong with Tanya sketch for two reasons, 1) It's really clever 2)The only prerequisite to BE in the scene was to be a girl, and be blonde, and Abby STILL didn't get the part. I find that, HILARIOUS.

Day Trip

I ran away. Just for today. Where did I run off to? I ran to the airport, then to the desk, then to security, then to my gate, then to the plane, then to my seat, then off the plane, then out of the airport, then to a taxi, then to the front door, then into Noel's confused yet welcoming arms. I can only chalk it off to "I just missed him too damn much". Noel Fielding...ah, you can't stay away from him. I can't. His personality is so welcoming and I really can't be without him for an extended period of time. When we stopped by my apartment the other day...ah it was such a tease. I couldn't take it. Noel has changed me in so many ways that I can't just leave him behind and say he was a period of my life. Boosh was a period of my life, Noel is my best friend, not was. So yeah I ran away, and I wish I was here longer. I wish I could live here. Everything is so different, Boosh people are the greatest people in the world. Their sense of humor is so SO different than America's it's ridiculous.

Immediately when I got to Noel's apartment it was a huge rush of nostalgia. Everything that I had before I left just came crashing down upon me and I burst into tears when I hugged Noel. I had missed him so much...so so much. Today was...sensational.

sensational  (sɛnˈseɪʃən ə l)
— adj
1.	causing or intended to cause intense feelings, esp of curiosity,horror, etc: sensational disclosures in the press
2.	informal  extremely good: a sensational skater
3.	of or relating to the faculty of sensation
4.	philosophy  of or relating to sensationalism

First we chilled in his apartment doing random boring things. I stole his clothes (as usual) and we went driving. We ended up in a big vat of flowers running around like idiots. Then we were running around London like idiots. Noel has become very immersed in his art, and he wanted to show me some of his new creations. So, we went to his studio and did a bit of art ourselves. I painted Noel and he painted me. Mine was more comical and his was more animalistic. I really do love his art. He showed me a piece that he did when I left the Boosh, it was of me. It was amazing, all the aspects were perfect. We laid in a puddle of paint once we were done painting and just talked about life in general. Then we went back to his apartment and ordered food, built an anti-Kilimanjaro hiker zone, and it's safety zone. There were piles of exploded paper bombs everywhere. Those damn hikers WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE?! We then went to a kids park and made a campfire, and to end my wondrous day trip we went back to his apartment and he showed me another project of his that was just, illuminating. It was done with those black-light markers so you can't see it unless there's a black-light on it. It was amazing. It must've taken forever to do, and I realized that I will never be "done" with England. So, I'm accepting my IT Crowd offer. I'm going to be living here half of the time and in London the other half. Noel has also agreed to do the IT Crowd. And I've never been happier.

Jules knew all about my little day trip, I mean he drove me to the airport, so it's not like I was "leaving" him. I just really had to get away.