Day 1 {Jesse Eisenberg}

Today we filmed El Shrinko and MTV Skins both scenes of which Nasim was in. El Shrinko is about a penis shrinking pill, an exclamation to all the girls Andy and Jesse have been sleeping with as to the reason why they're so small (sexual undertone) and in MTV Skins it's a parody of the actual MTV Skins but with new sponsors that are in the show for product placement. After filmed for four hours with Jesse today, Nasim has come to the conclusion that she really doesn't like him; at all. She says that because apparently he's an ass to her because he doesn't like Paul. Which I think is weird because Jesse doesn't seem like an ass at all...I'll find out the whole story eventually.

Today I went to the doctor! I've been battling the flu for about 3 weeks now and I figured it was about time I get myself to a doctor to see what is going on, and I have a sinus infection (fun) and I'm on like 5 different medications...exciting...I'd like to take a second to just point out that my audience right now, is obnoxiously huge. In July: 0 August: 109,000 October: 262,000 November: 508,000 December: 577,000 January: 734,000 views. That's a lot of people...aah! Thank you so much to everyone! The picture of the day is of everyone in Holland doing a little photo shoot. As you can see Fab had had his little cast on for that portion of his life.

LAST POST OF JANUARY!!!

January has been amazing and interesting and weird and so let us all take a moment to recap the happy times we have had

-Cillian Murphy hosted SNL
-I watched the Strokes dominate the Battle of the Bands!
-I went to Nikolai's apartment
-I went to Rockefellar with Nick
-Abby was dumb
-I got to go to Vegas!
-I walked around the Las Vegas strip
-Kristen and Fred got married
-Julian and I have a couples day
-I lose my voice
-Julian and I get interview by Debbie Harry
-I stay home from school
-Jim Carrey hosted SNL
-Nick's Birthday!
-I figure out how to put pictures on this website
-I get interviewed by Cosmopolitan
-I finish reading The Awakening
-Gwyneth Paltrow hosted SNL
-I got shopping with Nick
-Paul and Nasim get back together
-I go to the dentist for the first time
-I divulge into my creepers
-Big random party at Nick's
-Matthew Goode hosted SNL

Well January it's been real. Have a pleasant day.

IHS Twice Today

The scenes for this week are:

Spa Talk (Christina, Vanessa, Bobby, Abby, Keenan)
MTV Skins (Andy, Paul, Nasim, Abby)
El Shrinko (Andy, Kristen, Vanessa, Nasim)
Herb Welch (Jason, Bill, Keenan, Andy)
Bride of Blakenstein (Jason, Keenan, Jay)
Michelle Bachmann Cold Open (Kristen)
Mister Wizard (Christina, Abby, Keenan, Bill)
Monologue (Mark Zuckerberg, Andy)
Digital Short: The Creep (Andy)
Update (Seth, Keenan, Fred)
Estro-Maxx (Bill, Keenan, Bobby, Paul, Fred)

Which means the stats for this week are:

Abby 3

Andy 5

Vanessa 2

Bobby 2

Bill 3

Kristen 2

Keenan 6

Nasim 2

Jason 2

Jay 1

Paul 2

Christina 2

Fred 2

Which means it is Keenan's week! Even though tomorrow is Bobby's birthday and he's only in two scenes...ah well, I've noticed that a lot of these scenes have an odd sexual undertone, I'll explain more when we're filming them but it's just...odd. So at the announcement today of Jesse Eisenberg being our host Michael Cera was there, which was really weird because everyone calls them the same person because they always play awkward teens, it was like looking at clones. Not really they're actually very different, for example Jesse actually is awkward Michael is just quiet. I was talking to Taran today and he was upset that he was casted in zero of the scenes this week, I agreed with him saying that that was odd so I told him to go talk to Seth. Let's hope things turn out okay with that, I'll probably go talk to Seth about it later too cause that's kind of screwed up for him to just exclude someone out of a week completely. Oh and here's a little blurb from the concert on Friday night.

Lost in a Sea of Fans

The Strokes frontman Julian Casablancas got lost in the crowd during the group’s Friday night show in Manhattan's Hilton Plaza when he insisted on watching his group perform from the audience.

For a scary minute, bouncers lost sight and sound of Casablancas as he lost his microphone in amongst his adoring fans and then, as more cable was linked up from the stage, the eccentric singer started screaming, “I love you, but get the f*** off me,” as supporters clambered to get close to the rocker. Fortunately the fiasco was stopped as bouncers dragged Casablancas out of the mosh pit and back onto the stage. Crisis averted.

This is probably the first concert that I've missed (while dating Julian) and I missed that! Now I feel left out. 

Matthew Goode hosts SNL

Here's the line-up for tonight!
State of the Union Address Cold Open
Monologue
Aquarium on the Go
~Commercia~
Church Pew
Schweddy Balls
~Commercial~

Two A-Holes

Digital Short: Today's the Day

~Commercial~

Update

~Commercial~

Chippendales Audition

Acme

~Commercial~

Hammer Kids

Klondike Mountain

~Commercial~

End Clap

Oh what an amazing night, Matt rocked it up there it was like he was the freakin' God of SNL. The crowd went nuts for the Chippendale's Audition sketch. Probably because Matt has an amazing body. Other than the madness from the show I had a pretty maddening day. Nasim and I decided to go ape-shit with our friendship and walked around the city for 4 hour stopping only once to get food or to take obnoxiously sexy photos (didn't think I'd add sexy to obnoxious did you?) of ourselves. It was fun though I enjoyed myself. Last night I went to Sports Time USA with Nasim as well and now we have matching tattoos, bracelets, stomach acids, rings, sticky hands, army men, tops (spinning tops), and vampire teeth. Every best friend should have those things in common, other wise what's the point in being friends in the first place? GAWRSH. The photo of the day is a picture of Matt and his wife (I know, the lucky bitch) right before the show. Even though I'm extremely jealous of her I must admit, she's really pretty.

  

Day 5 {Matthew Goode}

So last night was definitely INSANE. Albert and Nick came over to NBC just to say Hi and it turned into a "Hey let's go to Nick's and crash there". And that's exactly what we did, we picked up Niko and Fab on the way there and they all brought a lot of alcohol with them as well, again I don't think, but tonight was a special occasion. Why was it a special occasion? No absolute reason except that every time someone saw someone on TV drinking we'd all take a shot, although be "we" I mean Julian, Fab, and Nick. Albert and Nikolai aren't as crazy drinkers as Jules, Fab, and Nick are. Although Julian is definitely modifying his drinking by a lot. Instead of being a drink-every-day-or-die person he's a oh-I'm-at-a-party-let's-drink person. Which I think is way better. It was funny, I was walking around Nick's apartment and I walked into his room and Julian jumped on me from being and we fell onto Nick's bed then Fab came in and jumped on Julian and then Albert came in and jumped on Fab, Nikolai I'm pretty sure was drunk and was staring at the patterns of Nick's ugly curtains (they really are gross) and Nick was just leaning on the door looking at us like we were just some silly kids. Albert kept on tickling Fab and they didn't get off me until I started screaming, "I CAN'T BREATHE" and even at that point Julian didn't get off. Instead he flung me on his shoulders, took two steps and hit Nick's dresser, fell down, and fell asleep (not from unconsciousness but from the drunkeness). And I just fell right asleep with him. This was good and bad, good because I needed to go to sleep because I had a bunch of tests the next day, bad because I didn't wake up for them until 9AM. Yeah there goes my A in that class....but nonetheless I had another fun times with The Strokes (reminds me of Europe).

Today we filmed Klondike Mountain and Hammer Kids, a scene and a commercial. Those you can watch for yourselves because I can't even explain all the little details of Klondike Mountain. Dikes...! The Strokes have a concert tonight which is why I'm trying to keep this post short! The picture of the day is of Seth, Andy, and Jimmy at Kristen's wedding, that's all for now, toodles!

Dear Viewers

In lack of my Day 3 for some weird reason (is it even thursday? I'M SO CONFUSED) I will make it up with a post from an awesomely weird fan who has a chubby Jules fetish (don't we all...). Yeah speaking of weird fetishs (other than that weird question Cosmopolitan asked me...) I might have to delete my email address from this website because I've been getting a lot of weird fetish pics of anything relating to me and/or SNL/Strokes stuff. I think I've already said this but I got sent a link for a website just showing pictures of Julian's acne when he was younger, I got sent a wallpaper for someone's desktop of just picture of me, I got sent a gift in the mail (!) of a scrap book of every time I've been in the news, and then a picture next to it of the person's reaction (<-- I actually laughed when I read it, and I read the whole thing, you know who you are creeper). Let's make a list shall we?

#1 creepiest thing I've ever received is a picture of me in my room and the picture was taken from outside my window (this is creepy because I live in a SKYSCRAPER) 

#1 weirdest thing I've ever received is a condomed (yeah I just created a word there) orange and inside the orange {yes, inside the orange} was a note saying I should use it to fist myself, but need I worry, it's okay because there's a condom on it.

#1 scariest thing I've ever received was a link to that maze thing and at the end a really nasty picture of myself popped up screaming. I actually screamed.

#1 most confusing thing I've ever received was a poem in German

#1 grossest thing I've ever received is lock of someone else's hair (gross because it was their PUBIC HAIR)

and the #1 most dangerous thing I've ever received was a live snake (All my mail gets sorted through so I only heard about that one, I didn't get to open it up and be eaten alive first. I know sender, your plan was foiled)

Day 4 {Matthew Goode}

I thought I'd take a moment to talk about the overall sexiness of Matthew Goode. His accent is...gorgeous, his body...gorgeous...his face...GORGEOUS! And when I said body, I mean he's shirtless in one of the scenes...looking sexy as ever...it's hard to be dating someone with my job...ahh the SNL life...Today we filmed Update and Acme, I was in the Acme sketch (by the way, I know I change between sketch, skit, and scene I just can't seem to find one I like) and that involved me being a crazy kid who wanted to buy all these thing to beat up the new kid on the block and Matt played the salesperson who was just hired and was iffy about the job, Jason and Andy played the two boss owners. Very funny skit, I enjoy that scene. 

I talked a bit yesterday about me going to California, Nevada, and Louisiana for The Strokes' shows and I recently looked online just how ticket prices are doing and the California and Nevada shows are completely sold out. Which is insane! Money money money....speaking of money, I had quite the day today. I, for the first time in my life, went to the dentist. Yeah, all thanks to Lorne. They had to drag me to the dentist, but they got me there, and believe it or not I have no cavities. While I was getting my teeth cleaned I watched "The Devil Wears Prada" and man is Anne amazing in that movie, truly stunning. Although I forgot to mention that even though I don't have any cavities I do need braces. Yeah, I'm definitely NOT getting those, I even told them right then and there, I said 

CHRISTINA

Look, I know you're trying to give me a perfect smile and all, and I appreciate it...but no way in hell am I getting braces. Ever.

They said it wasn't neccesary to get braces right after that so, I'm in the clear. I was surprised that I didn't have any cavities because I've never been to a dentist ever but apparently they said that goldfish, bread, and water won't rot my teeth (my only food source back then) so again, I'm in the clear. After watching it last night with Jason I've been watching a lot of Tosh.0. Daniel Tosh is a really funny guy! I hope to meet him someday. My photo of the day is of Kristen, Abby, and Anne together at the after-party (Kristen had died her hair THAT day by the way) 

Day 2 {Matthew Goode}

Lovely lovely Tuesday. I've been reminiscing a lot lately, and I thought I'd share this lovely lovely picture of Andy and the floozy he was with that one remarkable day I met Julian. Yeah, reading back on that post I realize how much I actually let Andy get away with, and to think that he regrets it SO much. Honestly, Jason was telling me today how much he actually regrets doing all the things we did. And we didn't even go out that long! Whatever, way I view it as 2 weeks vs. 5 months. Ye-UH.

Today we filmed Chippendale's Audition (I did not partake in that one unfortunately) but I must say, the fans will definitely be satisfied with that sketch, and we also filmed Aquarium on the Go, a commercial about the everyday trouble of not being able to bring your aquarium with you wherever you go. Very weird skit, that one's with Nasim, Abby, Jay, and Taran...very odd skit indeed...

Day 1 {Matthew Goode}

That's right kids, I didn't mention it all last week just to be make today even MORE exciting. Ahh that's right, the beautiful and lustful Matthew Goode is gracing the SNL stage this Saturday. We don't know the scenes in advance unfortunately for this week but today I was in BOTH scenes. We filmed a sketch called Schweddy Balls where Kristen and I play radio hosts and Matthew come in talking about his innuendos and the scene at 3PM was Two A-Holes, and that was Jason and I doing a scene as two assholes and Matthew is trying to be the nice guy selling us a valentine's day card. Oh and Matthew is amazing, or Matt as I have been allowed to call him. 


So last night at around 10PM Julian and I were... and Nasim stomps in (I definitely forgot to lock the door), doesn't even let me explain myself and starts ranting about how Paul asked her out. We had a two minute conversation about how that was a good thing and then she went back to Paul and said yes, then proceeded back into my room and asked if she could sleep on my couch because she didn't feel like walking all the way back to her room (ACROSS THE HALL FROM ME) I agreed and didn't go to sleep for a while after that because we were up late gossiping. 


Julian and I have discovered a new show that we're in love with. We were watching the new episode of The Office on Hulu when a commercial comes on saying "Christina, we think you'll like this show" clearly I am dragged into the commercial because they said my name, so now that they have my full attention I watch the show they present to me and I love it! It's called Testees and it's about two 25ish year old men living together working at Testico (scientific laboratory) and they get all these weird sexual experiments done on them. It's pretty weird, yet funny. Although I think it's only available on Hulu so go check that shit out. The Strokes are playing at some nice venues coming up and I get to go with them! So The Strokes + Me will be in Las Vegas, Nevada yet again on March 12th, Indio, California (first time in CA!) April 17th, and New Orleans, Louisiana (first time in LA!) May 7th. Two more states I can say I've been too, and some I'll have traveled the whole world. 


Maybe.

Picture of the day! Nick, Fab, and guests playing some video games. Everyone is looking extremely intense.

Poison in my Chicken

I'll keep this post short because I'm still facing the side affects of the POISON but Nick and I went shopping today. It was fun, until we cooked the chicken (delicious) which was full of sleeping pills (not really but I'm tired as fuck) and now I'M TIRED. Meh.

Oh last night during the show (the beginning) Fab and I were running around the hallways of NBC. It was fun, picture of the day is from today.

Gwyneth Paltrow hosts SNL

I feel like the most recent posts have been mainly about The Strokes (probably because of Nick's birthday). Alright....the line-up from tonight!


Fox News Cold Open
Monologue
The Cape Promo
~Commercial~
Secret Word
Digital Short: Andy and Pee-Wee's Night Out
~Commercial~
Barmitzfah
~Commercial~
Record Meeting
~Commercial~
Update
~Commercial~
Fresh Prince Lost Episodes
~Commercial~
ESPN Deportes
~Commercial~CNN Spitzer Auditions

Don't ask me why there's so many commercials, but it's ridiculous. At around 8PM Nick came over and we watched Hoarders together, pretty weird show. I hate the hoarders who are only doing it not to have their house demolished. Lame. Then we ate dinner and went into the gym and worked out (yeah that was fun...NOT). The photos of the day is of Albert and Jules at dinner in NYC one of the dinner dates we actually all went to and I've been putting a lot of Strokes pictures on here and I realized that I have a crap load of SNL ones as well. So, then second one is of Kristen, Fred, Alec, and Will at their Vegas wedding, this was of course after the actual marrying part of the whole thing. Oh I had the funniest conversation with Nick today

CHRISTINA

Nick did you already eat dinner?

NICK

No whatcha got?

CHRISTINA

Meatloaf...and...potatoes.

NICK

No seriously.

CHRISTINA

Hey it's good meatloaf! I think Kristen made it a few days ago, and it was very nice of her to do so too.

NICK

Christina, she's fucking with you. No one would make meatloaf for the sake of trying to be nice.

CHRISTINA

Psh, you can go starve then.

NICK

But I'm huuuunnggrry.

CHRISTINA

Big baby. Cry me a river and then come back to me.

NICK

(to JULIAN) I don't know how you can deal with her madness.

JULIAN

I don't know why you are too good for meatloaf.

NICK

It's not that I'm too good for it, it's that meatloaf tastes like shit.

JULIAN

Try it, it's actually pretty good.

NICK

You guys are fucking crazy.

CHRISTINA

Call for pizza then.

NICK

(pause) Gimme the damn meatloaf.

CHRISTINA

Mwahaha.

NICK

(eats it and likes it) Eh, not bad.

CHRISTINA AND JULIAN

TOLD YOU.

NICK

Oh hush you two. 

CHRISTINA

(sticking her tongue out) Christina: 1 Nick: 0

NICK

(examining their refrigerator) You really don't have much food in here do you...?

CHRISTINA

Since when did you become the food critic! My God!

NICK

What're you doing tomorrow?

CHRISTINA

It'll be Sunday, so nothing.

NICK

Wanna go food shopping?

CHRISTINA

(pause) Yes, yes Nick I'd love to, why? Because I want to see what the food master Nick Valensi buys.

NICK

Awesome, I'll pick you up and we'll hit up Whole Foods.

JULIAN

More like Whole Paycheck, that place is so fuckin expensive.

NICK

I know, but that's where all the good food is. 

JULIAN

Well.

CHRISTINA

That's where all the well food is?

NICK

(laughing) How's that education treating you Jules?

JULIAN

(laughing) I speak perfect Swiss leave me alone.

CHRISTINA

Oh Jules...okay so shopping, tomorrow, yes?

NICK

It's a deal.

And now I have a food shopping buddy. I told Nasim and Paul about this and they were ecstatic, I'm not sure why none of us go food shopping...ah well problem solved by Nick Valensi. The show went fabulously, no mistakes, really a great run. AW YEAH

Day 5 {Gwyneth Paltrow}

Now today is where the real filming got started, and I have to admit, it is kind of difficult to work with Gwyneth. She's just so...not focused. She's amazing when she focuses but when she doesn't it takes thrice the amount of time to get it going.

THRICE

That was for you Conan. So the 10AM filming that usually ends at 12PM ended at 2PM and the 3PM filming ending at 6PM and I had to immediately go to an Improv Match at Jispacho Plaza because I'm on the team, however I did not play in it. The team we were playing....Julian and I left after the first half. We went to McDonalds to go hang out and get some fries when we ran into to Schizo Jake (the homeless McDonalds guy) and he gave us more of his everlasting wisdom, you heard it here, Danny Elfman was arrested for torture. It's true. If Schizo Jake said it then it's automatically true. Schizo Jake even said Hi to us when we saw him! He has no idea who we are but still, Schizo Jake knows where it's at. After that we walked back home (we made it!) and attempted to complete a 500 piece puzzle and fell asleep around 3AM. Day well spent. Picture of the day? How about PICTURES of the day? Oh yeah, during the blizzard we had a few weeks back the streets actually didn't have cars on them for once. The Strokes and I paraded on them. The first picture is of Fab, Nikolai and Julian in the distance and the other is of them close up, yes I edited it and made it in black & white. And yes I just used the and symbol. Don't be jealous, it's unattractive.

Day 4 {Gwyneth Paltrow}

Yeah, contrary to popular belief, I am not in a fight with Ryan (Gentles) because he is in love with Julian. That had to be the craziest rumour I've heard about myself, and I've heard quite a few. Also contrary to popular belief I cannot dish out whether Gwyneth Paltrow is hard to work with because today I was in Update. Ah well, tomorrow I'll have the details, but a funny thing is that this is only my second time on being on Weekend Update, and I'm very excited. I'm playing Garth and Kat's manager/song-writer and I get to sing-along with them, which is really exciting. One of the most memorable sketches of Update is Garth and Kat so I'm glad I get to be apart of it this week. My picture for this day is of Fab in the tour bus, I'm not sure to where but it seems like London...OH I'm adding another picture because back when I sliced my foot open, knocked Nikolai unconscious, and nearly burnt down Nick's kitchen, people were skeptical on whether or not I actually painted his nails, and I remember quite clearly me taking a picture of his nails right when he was attampting to take it off, so BAM NON-BELIEVERS! 

Oh I just finished The Awakening by Kate Chopin (Vanessa gave it to me for Christmas) and it was pretty good, I hope she didnt' give it to me to send some message to me or something because the main character kills her self in the name of feminism in the end. Psh, Vanessa....I've alarming not been hanging out with Abby as much, she hangs out primarily with Bobby, Taran, and Bill and I almost never hang out with them. Which really sucks because I'd love to, Abby and I use to be a lot better of friends but now it seems like we don't even talk in school anymore. But I still think she's awesome! I was talking to Bobby about and he said something about being intimidated by me but that's insane because I have no power over her whatsoever. Ah well, life is life.

Day 3 {Gwyneth Paltrow}

Today we filmed Fresh Prince Lost Episodes and Secret Word, I think I've said this before but I don't like watching Secret Word because 1) I'm never in it, and 2) It's the same exact thing. The only thing that's different is the host and the fact that Will's scenes are now Taran's. Otherwise everything is the same! Ugh, come on Seth. Nasim is sick! Yeah and since she's sick there are no scenes being filmed with her and there's no talent show for us to be in. Lame. My picture of the day is of Julian, Ryan, and Albert on the plane to London looking pretty fly. This photo was taken on my phone, hence the crappy resolution. I have yet to make my final summation on Gwyneth Paltrow because I've heard quite the word from the rest of the cast that she's quite ADHD when filming and is impossible to work with. I have yet to work with her so, I'm mentally preparing myself.

Day 2 {Gwyneth Paltrow}

Today we filmed Record Meeting and CNN Spitzer Auditions, two scenes of which I were not in because of the Cosmopolitan Interview (very sexual and personal if I do say so myself) I'm filming on Thursday at 3PM and Friday at 10AM and 3PM. You're probably thinking to yourself, wait that leaves one scene un-filmed! Nope, Digital Short is being done on Saturday. What is up, and it is apparently going to be awesome, let's hope. I'm going to try and do a picture-a-day kind of thing on here, so today's picture is of Nick and Albert in the hotel room in Scotland playing XBOX

Old I know, but these photographs are timeless, and a lot of them have horrible quality, because some were taken with my cell phone and others with my camera. This one was with my camera. And that's all I have folks, oh, Nasim and I are trying out for the Talent Show tomorrow, wish us luck!

Supposed Sunday Interview

Think Russel Brand and you'll know exactly what I mean.


Claire Daniels: Claire Daniels here speaking for Cosmopolitan Magazine and I'm here with New York's own Christina Essenelle, and today we're getting the dish on her relationship with singer, songwriter, Julian Casablancas.
Christina Essenelle: Hey! So are we filming this or...?
CD: No we have someone typing this up.
CE: Really? Oh good cause usually I have to.
CD: Yeah I heard about that, yeah we have someone here to type it...
CE: [laughs] That's good.
CD: So Christina we talked to on the phone on Sunday and you said you had to reschedule, why's that?
CE: It was my friend's [Nick Valensi] birthday so I wanted to spend the entire day with him. 
CD: Alright well as you know Cosmopolitan listed you and Julian as one of their top ten celebrity couples to look forward to in 2011 how does-
CE: Wait seriously?
CD: Yes, you didn't know?
CE: No I had no idea! That's awesome...who else was on the list?
CD: Hey hey hey, I ask the questions here. [laughs]
CE: [laughs] Sorry!
CD: No worries, so you and Julian are one of the top 10 celebrities to look forward to in 2011, does that put pressure on your relationship?
CE: I don't think so, we actually don't really have anyone pressuring us to be together or to not be together, except for the gangs of NYC, I think they have a vendetta against us.
CD: That was really scary what happened, was that their intention? To kill you?
CE: Seemed like it with the way they stabbed me, but going back to relationships, the attack probably made our relationship stronger. 
CD: Well at least something positive came from it.
CE: [laughs] That's me, always looking on the bright side of things.
CD: Alright, let's get down to what the readers love; awkward, girly, personal questions.
CE: Oh I'm excited. 
CD: I have 10 mushy gushy Julian questions from fans all around the globe, you ready?
CE: I am...ready.
CD: Alright, number 1: Do you two have your own celebrity crushes, other than each other?
CE: Definitely, Julian is madly in love with Katy Perry and I'm in love with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. 
CD: Uh oh, Russel Brand look out.
CE: It's funny I was just listening to Russel Brand's comedy.
CD: He is certainly a funny man, so what's stopping you from dating Joseph Gordon-Levitt?
CE: He doesn't like me.
CD: What!
CE: [laughs] No I'm not sure about that, I've never met him and I'm dating Julian for gosh sakes! Next question.
CD: [laughs] Okay question number 2: What turns you on and what turns him on?
CE: I should've expected this from Cosmopolitan, um...honestly? For me it's gotta be boners. I know that sounds ridiculous but it's true, there's nothing more of a turn on them someone else showing you they're turned on. If that makes sense.
CD: I am the exact same way.
CE: Really?
CD: Yeah, my husband abuses that power all the time though.
CE: [laughs] Oh really! That's funny, we're already bonding Claire. 
CD: Indeed. And what turns Julian on?
CE: Now if I told you that everyone would be going around trying to steal my boyfriend...so no comment!
CD: Darn so close...alright question 3: [laughs] How big is Julian?
CE: Think Russel Brand. Next.
CD: [laughs] Massive then, number 4: What's your favorite guilty pleasure movie/show you two can watch together?
CE: Movie would be The Mask, I loved that movie as a kid I would go to my friend's houses and watch it everytime, and apparently Jules felt the same way. So when Jim Carrey hosted last week for SNL I was jumping for joy because he was my childhood icon. As for show it'd definitely be the Bad Girls Club, which I think he half watches just because he loves me...OR SO HE SAYS. [laughs]
CD: [laughs] The Bad Girls Club? Isn't that the show where they put a bunch of bitches together and see what happens?
CE: Basically. That or anything on the game show network, OH! Baggage. We love that show.
CD: Now that one I've seen, it's funny. Ever think one day you'll be on the game show network? Maybe some Celebrity Newlywed Game? [winks]
CE: I dunno...but Kristen and Fred [Wiig, Armisen] are auditioning for that soon. I hope they get on they're hilarious.
CD: That they are, alright question 5: What's your favorite sexual position?
CE: That implies that we have sex Claire.
CD: You two are sex-free then?
CE: I never said that.
CD: [pause] 6: Do you two role play?
CE: I don't understand that question.
CD: Oh, well sometimes in sex-
CE: No I completely understand it, next!
CD: [laughs] What's one thing about Julian you hate and one thing he hates about you?
CE: Oh God....Julian's too much of a perfectionist. If a song he's writing isn't perfect he'll get really worked up over it, I don't HATE that about him but it's something he could work on, as for me I'm sure he hates how completely man-friendly I am. 
CD: What do you mean by that?
CE: Well generally, I tend to hang out with guys more than girls, just because. No reason to it actually. And I'm sure that drives him up a wall. But I would never cheat on him on purpose.
CD: [laughs] Fair enough, 8: Do you have any fetish-s?
CE: I have a Julian Casablancas fetish.
CD: Clever. 
CE: [laughs] I try.
CD: Number 9: If Julian was going to cheat on you with any SNL member who would it be and if you were to cheat on Julian with any Strokes member who would it be?
CE: Damn this person thought long and hard about this question, so I must answer it, um he'd cheat on me with...do you mean like they have to have sex with them or kiss them or...?
CD: Whatever you define cheating as.
CE: Well I've obviously had to kiss other people in sketches and Julian kisses his bandmates all the time so...let's go with sex..but you see there are only 4 girl members of SNL...can't be Kristen cause she's married and she just wouldn't...not Nasim because she knows I would kill her...Abby or Vanessa...I'm gonna go with Abby because she's known him longer so...yeah, Strokes wise I'd pick....uh...not Albert because he's probably not in the mood...[laughs]...not Fab he's dating Binki....not Nikolai just because I don't think he likes me all that much...so that leaves Nick! Yup, Nick.
CD: And lastly: Any tips for young women out there reading this?
CE: When life hands you lemons, sell them. Make a profit, copyright your magic lemons from God, sell only 2 on eBay for millions for dollars, then make the lemons have sex with each other and produce the world's only unicorn, then ride it into the center of the Earth and discover the meaning of life...this is the advice I offer.

Pictures!

The first one of Jules with the crutches was us at the hospital fooling around while Fab got his hand fixed. Then there's Nikolai and Jules at Albert's house messing around, then Julian performing in London (the first time), then Nick, Jules, and Nikolai waiting backstage to go on in Switzerland, then Albert, Julian and Greg, then that's Nick and Jules on our UK bus, then it's Nick and Albert at dinner in Scotland, and the last one is Jules, Ryan, Albert, and Fab in the car to the Roseland Ballroom. That's the limit this post has on pictures so I'll post more as they come! By the way I didn't post this yesterday or any time before it but Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey, Jane Lynch, Leo DiCaprio, Steve Carell, Emma Stone, Anne Hathaway, and Jon Hamm all got nominations (blue means nomination red means win) and some wins at the Golden Globes, so congrats!

Day 1 {Gwyneth Paltrow}

Okay I think I've figured out how to post pictures on here...the first one is of the gang just chilling out at Nick's before six flags and the second one is of Albert sleeping in our fort, and the third one is of Albert about to go to sleep inside and then we shove him outside. Hence picture number two! Awesome possum. I'm so happy that I can finally upload these pictures because I have a lot...I swear I take pictures of them like every 10 seconds, for example here's a picture of Nick in Vegas day 2

Fun party...anyways, we're not filming anything today because it's MLK Jr. Day so it's a holiday. I'm not doing anything in particular today. Maybe I'll just have a post that uploads photos, who knowns. 

Birthday, Birthday, Birthday!

Here are the scenes for Gwyneth Paltrow's week

Record Meeting (Andy, Jason, Paul)
ESPN Deportes (Paul, Nasim, Fred, Jay, Taran)
Barmitzfah (Fred, Vanessa, Jay, Nasim, Christina)
CNN Spitzer Auditions (Taran, Bill, Nasim, Fred)
Update (Seth, Keenan, Vanessa, Bobby, Bill, Nasim, Christina, Kristen, Fred)
Fresh Prince Lost Episodes (Jay, Keenan)
Fox News Cold Open (Abby, Kristen, Bobby, Nasim, Jason, Bill)
Secret Word (Keenan, Taran, Kristen, Bill)
Digital Short: Andy and Pee-Wee's Night Out (Andy, Fred, Kristen, Keenan)
The Cape Promo (Nasim, Bill, Christina, Keenan, Andy, Bobby)
Monologue (Kristen, Jason)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICK VALENSI!!! My best friend Nick, was born today, well a long time ago today, but still...today. In celebration Nikolai, Nick and I went out to lunch to Montizimo's and then went back to Nick's apartment and chilled out together then went to Six Flags in New Jersey! New Jersey is lacking many things, but an amusement park is not one. Had a crazy fun time there, then we went back to New York City, Nick's apartment, ordered pizza, and Jules and Albert brought out the cake (vanilla frosting, vanilla cake, Happy Birthday Nick with a cartoon bird and penis behind the words). It was a great party and Nick's apartment once again, is trashed. While we were chilling at Nick's I was on his bed on his laptop looking over an email someone sent me, it was a link to this website called "zestrokes.tumblr.com" and I was going through the pages and it's HILARIOUS! There's all these Strokes references that only I would get and a ton of pictures of The Strokes and girlfriends of The Strokes, really quite an incredible job they did, and Nick hears me laughing my ass off and comes in and plops himself on the bed and I show him the picture I was laughing at and it's this picture of Jules and Nikolai and some chick and the chick has her hand on Julian and Julian must've eaten a crapload that day because he looks pregnant...if I can find it again I'll post it on here but it was just so funny. Then after we had dinner we walked around the city for a bit and had this amazing idea to make a fort of blankets on Nick's apartment structure's roof and sleep there. We did it. There were two outlets on his roof so we had a lava lamp and a laptop up there and we all watched Jim Gaffigan and Russel Brand comedy bits. They're both extraordinarily humorous. At around 3AM we finally fell asleep in our sleeping bags and did not wake up to millions of mosquitoes and spiders. Day well spent.

Oh by the way Julian hates Pringles.

Jim Carrey hosts SNL

I AM BETTER FOR THE SHOW! Thank God, but unfortunately I passed my illness onto poor Jules...poor baby...he's been in bed all day and I've been checking his temperature frequently and giving him medicine. At around 5:45PM Nikolai, Albert, and I went out to go get dinner at a local burger joint and got some food but it was a big hassle because they screwed up our orders and it was just a mess. You've failed me Ed's, you have failure on your hands now. Here's the line up for tonight!

Bloomberg Cold Open (Fred)
Monologue 
Black Swan (Bill, Nasim, Taran, Christina)
Finding Your Power (Vanessa, Andy, Jason)Grady Wilson (Keenan)
Soul Train (Bobby, Andy, Christina, Keenan, Jay, Jason, Nasim, Paul, Taran, Vanessa)
Update (Seth, Andy, Taran, Bobby, Kristen, Bill)
Amusement Park Ride (Taran, Keenan, Christina, Bill, Bobby)
Psychic Medium (Nasim, Jason, Vanessa)
A Taste of New York (Vanessa, Abby, Andy, Paul, Bill, Fred, Kristen)


~4 hours later~


The show was GREAT! Great crowd tonight, Bloomberg cold open was hilarious, I got a scene stopper on Soul Train and Jim did as well in the black swan sketch. Jim also brought myself and Jason out for the monologue to congratulate us on still being able to perform even though we were sick. There were some technical mess-ups though in Amusement Park Ride, the cart was suppose to stop at the end but it just kept going...ah well. I didn't go to the after party to meet Gwyneth Paltrow because Julian's sick but I found him awake watching Poker After Dark (what's on after SNL) with a bowl of chicken noodle soup. Speaking of chicken noodle soup, I'm auditioning for the talent show with Nasim and we're singing a song we made up featuring piano and guitar (I'm on piano and she's on guitar). It's going to be awesome, OH YEAH.

Day 5 {Jim Carrey}

I stayed home from school today because there was no point in going if I'm sick and have to film to I got a nice day off and it's Martin Luther King Day on Monday so no school again for the Gwyneth Paltrow week.I saw her in Iron Man so I'm excited to meet Miss Pepper Pots...I've slept all day with a fever and Julian's been writing and making music with the rest of the Strokes and he got me lunch which was sweet. Today we're filming A Taste of New York and Amusement Park Ride, I'm in the 3PM one so that'll be fun. I watched Taran do his bit for the skit and it's hilarious. Very amazing actor Taran is, I'm surprised he isn't in more skits to be honest.

I'm most likely going to have to go to the doctor soon because my laryngitis is getting really bad...will I do the show? Who knows at this point, Jason has a fever and Keenan has chlamydia (joking) what else could go wrong...