Unfortunately I did not get to see Julian (my bofriend) today. He's in Chicago for some interviews and what no, AND SPEAKING OF INTERVIEWS...! Today I was on Alar Carr: Chatty Man! Here it is:
A:Take a seat. Christina you came down those stairs quick!
C:I did, I’ve been called the road runner before.
A:You’re fast!
C:Quick wit to match.
A:…And sexy.
C: Woah woah, I wouldn't go that far.
A: I love your hair.
C: Thanks just got it cut actually! Just for you, speaking of just for you... I got you a little present actually. Where is it. [looks around]
A: Oh. Christina you’re scaring me, what are you talking about!
C: Hold on, where the hell did it go?? Oh wait a second it’s here.
A: What are you doing?!
C: I told you, you nut I got you a present.
A: Really?? You shouldn’t have!!
Crowd: AWWW!
C: [giving a weird look at the crowd] Thanks? Here, it's a handmade bag. I made it myself!
A: Oh my god, Oh my god. Oh my god Christina, I'm gonna look like you!
C: Haha, we'll take the world by storm.
A: Look at that. It's brilliant I love it.
C: Oh but wait, there's more! I feel like I'm on an infomercial. [looking around] product causes cancer...you must be 18 years of age or older to buy...ah ha! Here.
A: Oh my god, look at that. This is lovely. Thank you so much. Aw that’s really thoughtful! Hahaha! Now this show, The Mighty Boosh, are you a main character?
C: Well, yeah, I'm not the awesome duo but we are trying to turn it into a trio.
A: Yeah. Now, are there a lot of jealous matches goin' on? Like you just fight a lot,[makes a voice] a’right, what you looking at?
C: No, we went through a rigorous batch of therapy, so we’re all good now.
A: All right. So you never argue with Noel?
C: Nah, we…we…we get into it sometimes but we are so…I think we just understand each other really well, we have a great friendship so… [looks at the public] AWWWW!!
Crowd awwws.
C: Yeah that's right gimme your love.
A:Yeah, oh yes. Now did you receive much love as a child? I know you were in an orphanage but....?
C:Not really no. I mean, I did from my other fellow...orphanagers. You know it's funny, I use to call them my siblings but looking back on that I feel kind of weird calling them that. I know it sounds awful but I was basically their mother. I fed them, changed their diapers, gave up my clothes so that they could be warm. Life's tough, I'm just so blessed to have this life now.
A: What’s this orphanage like?
C: Hell. It's basically if you lived in a gutter but just happen to find a really nice piece of cardboard to put over your head. But if you don't mind sharing it with 15 other people you should be good.
A: well I don’t actually, I don’t! Can you give me directions to this orphanage!
[Christina laughs]
A: Let’s take a look at your other show, Saturday Night Live. [clip plays of a few bits from SNL]Wow.
C: That last one there was written for Bill Hader to play. I begged them to let me do it.
A: Wow, they’re amazing look at your fans!
C: Haha, not mine, well some I'm sure are mine but not all.
A: You like to get a bit interactive I see, with all the stunts..
C: I do, yeah I don't like the idea of stunt doubles. It just makes it seem like you're cheating the audience.
A: So tell us about your stage kissing, so you ever get.. .touched inappropriately?
C: No not when you're being televised and you've got a lot of producers and directors on your ass if anything bad happens.
A: Aw no fun.
C: I know, but I do find it funny when costumes and make-up want me to look like a slut, a lot of the guys on set get really flustered.
A: Basically you’re rubbing it in their faces.
C: Haha I suppose. I do ask in advance to not be placed in those positions though.
A: Aw, what a lady. Can you imagine? I would love to see that claim in court. I was distracted by Christina Essenelle's rack that's why I got into the accident! I want 10 000 pounds! God! Well that’s nice that you cover up cause no one wants that… no offense you’re a good looking girl but you know what I mean.
C: No Alan please, explain more in depth.
A: You wanna watch the show, you wanna have a laugh, you don’t want to get…tits in your face. Or do you? I dunno I'm not playing for your team! No but you don’t, do ya? Look at this crowd, ‘yeaaa’, bastards…
C: I mean the shows are really, really fucking crazy…can you say fucking?
A: Oooh yeah, and cunt!
C: Seriously? I love BBC!
A: You can’t say that, we can’t say that, don’t, this is live!!
C: Oh haha, I swear I'm the most gullible person in the world. I was up in Lake Ilumtiln and one of our boat guides told me there was a fish named gullible. I believe him.
A: You know I had a pet shark when I was your age.
C: Really?
A:Wow, you really are gullible.
C: Oh dammit! See, I'm the worst. It's because everyone is so nice I just assume it's real. Which is so weird because I've grown up in a "walk-it off, everyone's a liar" kind of mindset, haha. But it's only helped me on sets.
A: It’s absolutely brilliant though, I mean there’s so many good scenes you were in.
C: Yeah, I’ve got some good ones. Musical ones.
A: You have. Something really grim happens to you though. Not in the scenes but in real life. You died!
C: Yeah that was madness. Ah well, he's dead now.
A: Cos you were beaten to a pulp we heard. That's so scary! Oh and we’ve got a clip of you in Saturday Night LIve which is absolutely brill. You’re a coke addict!
[They watch the clip].
A: How did you get on with Andy Samberg?
C: He’s a very funny man.
A: Yeah. But you remember last year when he had a go at that man? The lighting man, do you remember when he had a rant on the set of Hot Rod?
C: What! I have no recollection of this.
A: [makes growling voice] You asshole!
C: Hey now just because-!
A: No no that's what he said.
C: Oh........gullible remember?
A: But was he like that on the set of…cos he had an axe in his hands, he could’ve [been] like: [growling voice] Hey Christina! Walk into this!!
C: [growling voice] I don’t walk into your set, don’t walk into mine!! Haha, you know I think he’s a great actor, he was probably working his ass off and he was probably tired and someone was annoying!
A: Oh well it happens doesn’t it.
C: Who the fuck are you lookin' at.
A: Cos you’re a method actor as well aren’t ya.
C: Well you know, I appreciate a good challenge and I’ve taken a lot of really physical roles...haha.
A: I have to say. I just thought about sex.
C: I have to say. I just looked at your penis.
A: Well, enjoy the ride! [Christina laughs]
C: This is magical...it's like riding on the coat tails of a majestic inch worm...
A: You do hang out with Noel Fielding too much.
C: Hey now, he's a good mate. He just has a lot of interesting ideas. HE'S AN IDEALIST!
A: Doesn't mean he's not batshit crazy.
C: I see your point a challenge you a high-five.
A: [they high-five] Well do you know what Christina, it has been absolutely lovely talking to you, good luck with The Mighty Boosh, sounds like it’s going great anyway…
C: Thank you, you’re so funny and so sweet, they sent me your clips to watch and I couldn’t stop watching and I was looking on youtube and they were so great, I loved the one you did with Mickey Rourke, I thought that was so funny…
A: Mickey Rourke was so great when he [went] Hey you’re a funny cunt! That’s what he said.
C: Well maybe it should be traditional, so you’re a funny fucking cunt!
