I was interviewed by Graham Norton today! This lovely interview was actually typed up by a fan of mine; Thanks Alice Decker, you really saved me a lot of time. :)
Transcript of the Channel 4 (UK) programme "The Graham Norton Show" broadcast on 4th September 2011.
The special guest was Christina Essenelle. I have left out a few sentences that don't make sense unless you can see what is going on.
There was a brief trailer before the adverts before the show.
It starts with a head and shoulders shot of Graham standing next to Christina. (He's much taller than her.) Both are looking at camera.
GN : Join me after the break with SNL funny girl Christina Essenelle.
( He turns to Christina ) How do you think the show will go?
CE: Awful, I've heard many things about this show. I must say, I'm going in disgusted.
GN (downbeat) : Yeah, me too.
(Audience laughs, Graham and Christina can't keep straight faces. Christina gives Graham a playful shoulder barge.)
The show proper starts with Graham doing a stand up comedy routine based around a few stories in the news. The audience, about 500 in size, is in raked seating. His last routine involves him yelling at the camera "and live from New York it's Saturday night!!!"
GN : Please welcome the star of Saturday Night Live and The Mighty Boosh - Christina Essenelle. (Great applause, Christina appears at the top of some stairs at the back of the stage area. She stays there a while enjoying the cheers. She's in a very elegant blue beaded dress with white pumps. As she walks down the steps she is greeted by two pretty young women in long black dresses. They each take one of his hands and escort him to Graham. Earlier we had seen Graham escorted in by two very muscular shirtless young men.)
Christina gives GN a hug, GN is telling her to sit but the cheering is still going on. Christina smiles at the audience obviously enjoying this.
GN : Christina Essenelle, now you are visiting these shores to ... be in a television series..
CE interrupts : Well wait now, I've been living here this entire summer, I think at this point London is somewhat-no London is my home.
GN : Oh Good! So welcome home... Except you've been here the whole time....Now you're in the Mighty Boosh and you've had fantastic reviews.
CE : Oh that's fantastic! Yeah I haven't heard much, reviews wise.
GN : So it's on BBC 4 on Wednesday's ...
CE : No actually we're still filming a few more episodes so I don't think it's premiered yet .... I feel as though I'm correcting you all the time. (Laughter)
GN : Well that's what I thought, I thought you (leans forward to pick up some bits of card) you already started. But it says July 30th.
CE : No It's your researchers, come here. (Christina reaches over and takes his notes, rips them in two and throws them over her shoulder. Great applause and laughter.)
(As it calms down Graham looks puzzled)
GN : Wait a minute, Who ? Who are you?
CE : (laughing at Grahams response) : Very Good. Never mind we'll take a break shortly and tape them together.
GN : So you've been living here, and it's yourself and Noel Fielding - who we love
CE : Noel Fielding , who sends his love to you. He's a fan of yours and he's fabulous, And he plays my love interest in the show. And a brilliant person in general. Julian Barratt who plays the other man . (Ooos from audience, Christina turns to the audience and raises her hands several times,) No, no, no not like that! (the Ooos stop).
GN : You see they were thinking Julian Barratt (in a dull voice) and then 'the other man!' (Laughter)
CE : That's funny that you say that because on the show he's suppose to be this dull and boring character bt in real life...oh God, he's maybe the funniest and sexiest person I've met. But I provide both the fun and the sex on the show. (sudden burst of laughter from audience). Not simultaneously well, maybe simultaneously. I'm not sure actually. Sex is fun, no? (CE Laughing) I can do both things together. I feel like I'm in Amsterdam, now, selling myself. I can do fun and sex, yes! (Laughter)
GN : 500! 700! 1000! I'll be here for you Christina, you can't do this auction alone!
CE : (Laughter) Speaking of alone, you know what they say about masturbation? I was thinking about it earlier.
(GN shrugs as though he doesn't know what Christina is talking about. Before CE came on GN had told a story about a man who was caught on CCTV alone in a railway carriage 'relieving his sexual tension'.)
CE : You brought it up!
GN : Did I? (Laughter)
CE : The thing they say about masturbation is it's sex with someone you love. Unless you're one of those self-loathing people.
GN : So true. It is. Don't you see some beautiful people and you think "how do they leave the house?" They'd be there all the time. (Laughter)
CE : How did we get on this?
GN :(Garbled) Yeah, how does this happen? ... You had a very successful career in the States .. as a TV actress ... with NBC. How does it happen that you were ... transferred over to ...the Mighty Boosh.
CE : Oh you mean the transformation. It was something like that. It was a fluke, an accident. That's one of the reasons why in show business, we should never really worry to much about the future because you need a high proportion of luck to get anywhere. I was walking around on the Late Night with Jimmy Fallon set and met Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding. Noel and I immediately hit it off and then the next day was my 21st birthday, and Seth Meyers, the head writer of SNL, decided to make sure no one saw me on that day, literally everyone I knew. But he didn't know that I had just met Noel, so I spent the whole day with Noel and in about a week or two he asked me to be on the show, and confirmed it by having Paul King, the director of the Mighty Boosh, ask me on the phone.
GN: So you were just mucking about! How mad is that.
CE : Yes, Yes. That's what I mean by why we shouldn't worry too much. Who knows, when you turn a corner, what might happen.
GN : And it's brilliant because it's really kind of worked for you ... financially it must have been great ... but as an actress you must have gone "Oh God will I ever be able to do live TV again"
CE : Well you see it wasn't like that. Because I did my research. They told me that I would have to sign a 2 series contract, you can't just get away with doing 2 or 3 months. They assured me - everybody in Camden who I spoke to assured me -that it would be a failure. That if I signed on for 2 series I would only have to do one, two if I were lucky. So the pitch was - come and get a suntan, make some money for the first time in your life and meet some guys and um (GN laughs) actually that wasn't part of the deal. It never is, is it. Have you noticed that?
GN : I have, I have (GN pretends he really cares about meeting girls.)
CE : So ....You know I look at your shoes, at your gleaming patent leather shoes and then I look down at mine and feel silly. These aren't even mine!
GN : Whose are they? I think I'm trying way too hard for a Sunday night (Laughter). .
CE : Noel's. (laughter)
Commercial break at this point.
GN : Now Christina, you play Stephanie, what's her character?
CE : Well she's very adventurous, in both attitude and style. Which inherently makes her a bit ignorant and innocent. Actually the last episode of the series, is most likely the most disturbing because one of the characters plays of that innocence. It's a very disturbing episode, filled with crazy super-powered characters.
GN : In those episodes all the characters have special powers.
CE : They do, extraordinary powers...of imagination. That's Noel and Julian for you!
GN : We'll talk about that in a bit. But what we did on the way in was we asked the audience people if they had any special powers they felt they had. (her face drops - laughter).
CE : I hope this works... (laughter)
(There follows a bit where GN walks into the audience and gets the 4 people they have selected to stand up. They have owned up to ridiculous things like climbing trees, tap dancing, play netball (unusual for a man in Britain
GN and CE go back to their seats on the stage.
GN : I was reading about you today. And one of the stories that seem very timely - given what happened at Prince William's party (a gatecrasher got into his 21st Birthday party dressed as an Arab)- was that you and Noel went to a London party dressed as bandits.
CE : Yeah that was awesome! It wasn't a costume party, wasn't anywhere near Halloween but Noel wanted to go to this party and early that day he had brought me to his art studio and showed me a picture where he and a past friend dressed as bandits so, we dressed as bandits. And it's Noel Fielding! What do you expect he's practically a walking statement. (Laughter)
GN : Was it that weird thing were nobody mentioned anything?
CE : But everyone said something. I got some nasty hater comments though, people said I was trying to be a hipster, or Lady Gaga. I don't understand how you could be Lady Gaga, she's so unpredictable and her own thing, how could I possibly track that? (Laughter)
GN : (Inaudible ) One of the other things I heard was that one of your pet hates was being mistaken for other people.
CE : Well, there are two people I've been mistaken for in my life. When I first started out everyone thought I looked just like a cross between Taylor Momsen and Miley Cyrus. Which is both insulting and weird. The other is Blake Lively. Which isn't insulting what so ever. She's very pretty.
GN : And at Abby Elliott?
CE : Yes. She's just...said some very offensive things to me, done very offensive things to me, and she's an elitist gossiper who needs to get her head out of her arse. I don't even see why people like her. (laughter)
GN : (Garbled)
CE : I don't see it personally.
GN : No I agree with you, I don't really see it. No.
CE : I'm sorry, I interrupted go on.
GN : Another great thing about going to New York is suddenly you become top totty. (CE starts to pull his right ear while GN reaches into draw ) You are in People's top 50 beautiful people. Was it the TV guide. (GN pulls out and copy of TV Guide and shows it to the camera – it has that picture of Jesse Spencer and Christina on the front.) "TVs top turn-ons" Jesse Spencer bloke and your good self. That must be sort of .. you know. (woops from the audience, CE smiles )
CE : I had not seen that...aw, I'm so flattered. I wish I didn't waste 21 years doing nothing.
GN : Still, quite good now?
CE : Everything is magnificent. It's funny I got yelled at once for being 'too happy'.
GN : Sort of a nice thing, it can't hurt . But then of course that's one honour you get but you've also had the action figure honour.
CE : Almost had that honour. Well it's the fact that merchandising is so powerful and so remunerative. Take the Boosh for example. Show, did wonders. Merchandise? Raked in millions. (GN looks amazed)
GN : That's incredible.
CE : Yes even compared to your salary that's impressive (Laughter)
GN (does hand gestures that indicate he is doing some mental arithmetic. Nods agreement.) Yeah, (garbled words) Do you still ever go to the SNL conventions or anything?
CE : No actually, I was never invited! I remember back in September of 2010 there was a convention and almost everyone left except for the featured players. It was lonesome.
GN : I feel like they'd be annoyed if you were there. That'd be your first month!
CE : Exactly. That's probably why Lorne didn't want me to go.
GN : When did you know that everything was all right, that you'd sort of settled in? Job...money...home?
CE : Not for a long time. I was scared for a long time. I was scared I wouldn't be able to keep up with the pressure of the work, it was so intense. And I felt a lot of responsibility with the tasks I had too. I didn't really relax for a while, I mean I'm still freaking out! Then largely due to the wonderful people I worked with, the other cast members of SNL and The Mighty Boosh, they helped me to relax somewhat. They have admitted to me now that they thought I was a workaholic when I first started. I remember I would be the one who knew everyone else's lines and I had the filming schedules memorized and now I'm not as, anal about everything.
GN starts laughing and giggling
CE : (CE pokes GN’s leg affectionately with his foot ) You are lovely. You really are. (Laughter)
(More giggles from Graham before he recovers.)
GN then introduces the 4 audience members we saw earlier in some short video clips showing off their AMAZING powers. The programme ends with a thank you to Christina and shots of Graham and Christina leaning over to talk to one another.
They also gave me this interview to do before I was on the show and presented it on a slide show to the audience.
If you weren't talking to me right now you'd be...
In my NYC apartment.
A phrase you use far too often...
"Wait but actually though" I love that I can't trust what people say anymore because everyone I know is so sarcastic like myself that I have to ask "Wait...but actually though".
You wish people would take more notice of...
Hard workers.
The most surprising thing that happened to you was...
When I received a starring role on SNL. It's just I had only been on the show for a year and I knew so many other veteran candidates that had so much more experience to be in a starring position. But I'm so glad that I am you have no idea.
A common misperception of you is...
I am not a possessive girlfriend! I remember Julian [Casablancas] was telling me that one of his new guy friends was saying that he needs to go out more because Julian spends too much time with me and I keep him on a short leash. I couldn't stop laughing.
You are not a politician but...
I will fight for what's right. Yeehaw.
You're good at...
Juggling.
You're very bad at...
Updating my blog...I always feel bad when my tell tale excuse is "I had school!" "I had to work!" "I had to have lunch with Paul Rudd and Jorma Taccone!"
You're ideal night out is...
Going to a party and coming home with the person you went their with and with your wallet and cellphone.
In moments of weakness you...
Make jokes.
The best age to be is...
I dunno, 21? Sure.
In a nutshell, your philosophy is this:
Live life to the fullest and try anything once. Except anal sex and heroin, that shit is just weird.
