Day 2 {Jason Segal}

Today we filmed Andre the Giant and the Blue Jean Committee. Funnily enough Paul (Rudd) showed up to do the Blue Jean Committee. I was suppose to be in that sketch as a background character but I opted out because I am deathly deathly ill. Paul actually took my place in the scene. I think I have food poisoning, I've been throwing up since 6PM yesterday to a point where I just slept in the bathroom while Jules kept checking up on me, I had the runs and then became delirious because of a fever of 102. I think I hallucinated at a few points. I kept on imagining what was happening in my stomach and all I saw was the footrest dog from Beauty and the Beast attacking vitamin water men and women. Then I dreamt (ish, I didn't really sleep, and what do you MEAN dreamt isn't a word? dreamed? really? screw you English language you're so damn confusing) that the reason why I was sick was because my body parts were sick so in my dream I got new body parts and then I was fine.

Sounds like Noel Fielding's head right there.

Speaking of Noel he visited me today! I'm so happy he's been living in NY but he leaves for London all the time so I don't see him as much but I do see him very often now. I love it. Picture of the day is of NOELIOOOOOO

Day 1 {Jason Segel}

Today we filmed Retirement Party and New Jack Thanksgiving. I'm not a fan of the retirement party episode but the new jack thanksgiving is really funny. I think Seth got the hint from Emma Stone's and Charlie Day's performances that scenes with more SNL cast members get better reviews. By the way I agree with you, Emma Stone's second performance on SNL was better than her first.

Ugh, school is the worst. I have so much homework that it's eating into everything else I do. By the way THIS IS THE LAST WEEK TO SEE ME ON BROADWAY! SO COME ON DOWN! Oh you know what was a lot of fun? Paul Rudd is in NYC this week so he's been living in the guest suites upstairs. I love Paul he's the funniest, he barged into my room (like most people do nowadays) and attacked me on my bed. Fortunately Jules was there so Paul wasn't on for long. Then we went out for coffee and had to take a picture for this blog  since I've been squelching on the pictures.

Night ya'll!

Jay's Son

JASON SEGEL!

Mitt Romney Cold Open (Jason, Kristen, Jay, Taran)
Monologue
Regis and Kelly (Nasim, Paul, Keenan, Jason, Bobby, Bill, Fred, Taran, Abby, Jay, Christina)
Kemper Pedic Bed (Christina)
Kissing Family (Fred, Kristen, Christina, Andy, Jay, Bill)
Update
Retirement Party (Paul, Keenan, Vanessa, Fred, Nasim, Taran, Kristen, Jay, Bobby)
New Jack Thanksgiving (Bobby, Vanessa, Abby, Nasim, Keenan, Jay, Andy, Kristen, Fred)
Digital Short: Chess (Christina, Kristen, Nasim, Andy)
The Blue Jean Committee (Keenan, Fred, Jason, Kristen, Abby, Christina, Vanessa, Andy, Taran, Bobby, Bill)
Andre the Giant Gets an Ice Cream

Snowpocalypse 2011

Such a great day! Jules and I were on the chair lift to get to chair 12 which leads to a single BLACK DIAMOND and we're of course freakin out, thinking what are we doing, we're just beginners, we're gonna die. I started texting some people saying if I die that they should move on and that I loved them, and it's when I'm saying goodbye to Julian when I hear someone behind us go "Dude, whatever, snowpocalypse 2011 NO REGRETS, CHAIR 12!!!!!!!" and Julian and I just look at each other and start laughing. We then turn around and yell with them "BALLS TO THE WALL, GO BIG OR GO HOME, CHAIR 12!!!!!!"

Oh the people we meet.

The slope was insane, it was all downhill with trees and bumps and ROCKS. Rocks are the worst, I felt bad for my board cause I thought it was going to break at one point. You know what's the worst? Getting off the chair lift. I 100% hate it. I always fall into Julian and yeah it's all cute falling on each other and laughing but then it's not cute when other people are falling on top of you and their boards and skis are smacking into your face. No matter where I am, I will always fall off the chair lift.

Always.

SEND MORE EMAILS.

I'LL BE HOME TOMORROW.









SNOWPOCALYPSE.

Happy Thanksgiving 2011!

Thanksgiving with just Jules and I is the coolest. We didn't do much thanksgiving-y stuff other than cooking all day in our beauteous condo-hotel room thing. It's nice having Jules working with me, we work like clockwork. I'm over here he's over there it's like we're ninjas who use either's backs to kill others. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE. White ninjas. Jules and Christina...white ninjas.

We still went snowboarding today and went on some crazy level 7 slopes (the level right before BLACK DIAMOND) and I fell down pretty badly but I'm fine. Jules is getting better. He now goes down slightly faster and doesn't fall AS much. Eventually he'll beat me down the mountain and I wont have to sit and wait for him to get down...eventually. Picture of the day is of Julian when we took a break from this crazy level 7 steep-as-hell slope.

For dinner we cooked a turkey, pumpkin pie, candied yams, cranberry sauce, gravy, mashed potatoes, biscuits, and stuffing. It was such a well slaved over meal that I ate every bite. Minus the mashed potatoes because I don't like them. By the way thank you for emailing me/Jude!! His replies are the best so if you haven't already emailed, GET ON IT! Question is....what's your favorite breakfast and why?

It's time to be thankful, and I'm thankful for all of you folks, cause if you never read this blog I would just be some girl on SNL. Thank you for the interviews, TV opportunities, photo shoots, and music videos. None of this could be achieved without the help of my fans so thank you so much. I'm grateful, don't ever doubt that. I'm probably one of the most grateful people you'll ever meet.

LIARS!

It's hard to have an extraordinarily fun time when people are LYING to you left and right! SO, today Julian and I get to the slopes and we wanted to get more lift tickets so, we ask a lady how much two three day lift tickets are worth, she says $99. I'm thinking, alright, expensive, but whatever. So we go to the desk and go to pay for everything and it's $340. Now I wouldn't have noticed anything wrong with that because I'm horrible at math but Jules as quick as a whip goes,

JULIAN

Wait a minute, how does that add up?

GUY

Well it's $170 for a three day lift ticket...

JULIAN

No no, the lady over there told us it was $99 for a three day lift ticket.

GUY

What lady?

JULIAN

(goes over to woman and drags her over to the GUY) Her!

GUY

Melanie how much are three day lift tickets?

MELANIE

$99!

GUY

They're $170!

MELANIE

Oh...

And that was the first liar. Then tonight Jules and I wanted to go to dinner in the village so we asked the front desk (A man named Fabrizio Nolan) if they could get us a shuttle to the restaurant. They said sure and that the shuttle was located at a certain location. So, we went there. No damn shuttle was there. So we went back and asked where it was again and Fabrizio Nolan gave us another location. Nothing was there either! So we just found a taxi (taxi man Ted was our driver or now T-swag because we love him so much) and went to the restaurant. Here comes in liar #3. The lady told us we had lake view from the restaurant. WE DIDN'T. Then on the shuttle back (yeah it finally showed up) and the man in the front seat was listening to our conversation then LIED about no listening.

Literally everyone I know is a liar.

Maybe not everyone...

Denver, Colorado

That's right, Jules and I are hitting the slopes in Denver! Today (Tuesday cause I know this is late and time differency) we fly in at around 2PM and immediately got our snowboards and lift tickets. Now, Julian has snowboarded once before when he was 18 so I didn't really expect him to be God awful at snowboarding until we got to the top of a mountain. He got off the lift fine, then trying to get down the mountain was just impossible for him. He didn't know how to stop! So he sledded down and we bought some private lessons for the both of us. I knew how to snowboard because in NY, the slopes there are all really small so it's easy to master them, and it's easy to get a board when they are literally just planks of wood with your feet tied to them. Hey, what can I say I'm a DIY girl.

Alan was our instructor from Brasil and actually went to the Strokes concert not too long ago! He was very nice and an amazing instructor. Alan gave Julian the will to keep snowboarding cause I'll tell you, after that first run, Jules was not a happy camper.

If you...

could punch one celebrity in the face who would it be?

I WANT TO KNOW! I have (as a requirement for all SNL cast members) an assistant who has been bored these past few weeks because I've been opting out of episodes. And I really don't want to not pay him because I'm sure he's not doing so well financially (as we all are in this God awful economy) so I've made him come in this week so answer my emails. SO, his name is Jude and he's from LONDONNNNNN! So, ask him any questions and he'll answer.

HELP HIM OUT!

Aaaaand Back!

Sorry about that folks, yes I know I was absent from school the same amount of time I was absent from my blog. But I'm back now! Jules and I had some soul searching to do. But now everything is okay, the bodies are stowed away (TITT), and I'm ready to start living again. Jules and I were watching TV doing our normal assholes activities of commenting on everyone's faults (a regular activity practiced online and in the comfort's of our home) when Bill comes walking in, completely distraught with tears streaming down his face. His mother had just died from breast cancer. That is just devastating, I've never seen Bill so upset in my life and rightfully so. Because of this traumatic event SNL (and myself personally) have donated 50,000 to American Breast Cancer Society. May God Bless every victim and I really do hope they find a cure, or at least some more ways to prolong their lives. Any kind of cancer is really awful so the fact that someone who is so close to me has died from it is really just devastating.

Our prayers are with you Hader household.

EEEEEK!

WHY CAN'T I FIND TIME TO WRITE IN THIS THING!

I DIDN'T PARTICIPATE IN EMMA STONE'S WEEK I'M SORRY.



She's still a lovely person, I'm just so damn busy.

Charlie Day hosts SNL

HERE'S THE LINE-UP!


Gaddafi Cold Open
Monologue
Kardashian Divorce Special 
~Commercial~
Ask Dr. Oz 
Greek Gods 
~Commercial~
Gettin' Freaky with Cee Lo
Comedy Tour 2 
~Commercial~
Update 
~Commercial~Dolphin Movie 
Crime Scene
~Commercial~
End Clap


My day has been...hectic. I had a matinee showing (fantastic[haha it looks like manatee showing]) at 2PM which I showed up to get ready for at 12:30PM then hung out with Jules till 6PM getting rid of gift cards and giving them to people. I bought all this crap from Toys R Us cause I got a $50 gift certificate for Christmas so I decided, hey I'm not going to use any of these toys might as well donate them. So, I did. Yeah low key awesome, no big deal. Hope there are some kids there that love playing board games and detective stuff. Cause thats what they got. 


SNL SHOW WAS GREAT! Charlie Day really out done himself, and so did the cast. With such a big bundling of people for scenes we maintained ourselves pretty well. 

Day 5 {Charlie Day}

HAPPY VETERANS DAY! Really, thank you to all the troops, thank you to the navy, army, coast guard, air force etc. etc. Even the military's water boy. Thank you, because not everyone has the balls to go and protect our country like that. Sure taking a life is awful and should never be practiced but it's something we're fighting for, it to protect us and I respect that. Also it's 11/11/11 11:11 and I'm making my grand wish. Only at 11:11PM though because I only believe in having a little ultimate power.

Today was a great day. I woke up up at 9:30AM in Jules' arms and made a peanut-butter and nutella toasted sandwich for the both of us, then took a shower, then went to go play BINGO. Yup, I promised Julian I would so we did. Grand ol' time

ANNOUNCER

B16......B16.....

JULIAN

BINGO BITCHES!

CHRISTINA

HA HA! TAKE THAT WRINKLES.

Fortunately this happened DURING the Veteran's day breakfast so most of the oldies in there were completely comatose non-veteran oldies so I felt no remorse in beating down an old person at (practically) their own game. For someone who has no older relatives (or relatives period) I found the people at Sunny Rise Retirement Home charming and timeless. Well, the people in the bingo room were realllllllly medicated so not them so much, but in the other rooms, much nicer folks. One was in WW2 and was reliving military tales to me...I think that's so damn cool! I wish I had grandparents who were like that. Or parents for that matter.

After that we went out to go see Jules' friend's show at the Panathon (where the picture of the day is from...aka a Heineken ad) which was FANTASTIC. I love going out to see smaller bands because there's no bs, it's just music. Wish bigger artists could be the same, The Strokes (I believe) stay true to that.

Day 4 {Charlie Day}

Since all the scenes this week are long and have a lot of people in them, today, we finished our filming! (plus we're not allowed to work on Veterans day so...that's another reason why too) So it was just Update for today and I'm bringing back one of my favorite characters and hopefully one of yours too!

We have another show tonight! Come on down and see the show it's hilarious and I'M IN IT! AH! SEATING IS LIMITED SO BUY YOUR TICKETS SOON!! We've been sold out so far so GET TICKETS FAST! Jules is the cutest, for every show he's been sending me these giant bouquets of flowers. That boy knows how to make me smile. I've been very bitter this week because of the show and because of SNL. It is most likely from my lack of sleep but I've just been snapping at people. I yelled at a girl in my Econ class for getting a higher grade than me. I yelled at Jules for looking at a wall. I yelled at Noel for texting me four times instead of three because "threes a magic number YOU RUINED MY WEEK WITH YOUR BAD LUCK". Either I'm bitter or I'm going crazy.

Either way THERE'S STILL A SHOW TONIGHT FOLKS!!

Day 3 {Charlie Day}

Today we filmed Greek Gods at 10AM and Dr. Oz at 3PM. I read over the Dr. Oz skit and it's funny, really funny. Seth this episode has really outdone himself however he's given a lot of work to Lorne because all the scenes have a shit ton of people in the so it's going to be (and has been) extremely difficult to get everyone to focus, get their lines right, their blocking right, and to give 110% in energy.

I was chilling in my room (which is near impossible since I'm at play practice, school, and filming 99.9% of the time) today with Jules just listening to theme of scary movies and seeing which one scared us the most. Winner was definitely Sleepy Hollow theme song. It's so chilling and long and NOT overplayed and popular. I highly recommend. However Pennywise the Clown's own personal theme was really freakish as well. Just because it starts off really nice and then gets creepy as fuck. There's a holiday SNL benefit show coming up! Please come see it, it's for a good cause so come one come all!

Picture of the day is of Albert at Stella McCartneys FOR FUN AND GAMES AND MERRIMENT DON'T KID YOURSELVES.

Day 2 {Charlie Day}

That's right it's a sex bank drop off your old skank 

Skanky tank bank for the cash flow supa dank

Hided your crank, or make room for your purple drank

Its dank sex bank, sex bank 

Danky dank dank song. Super fuckin' weird danky dank super skank. Today I got to get out of school for some filmin! They filmed Comedy Tour at 10AM and Gettin' Freakay at 3PM. Comedy Tour we've done before (hence the 2 part) and it was really funny, but this time we're adding EVERYONE instead of just having the four guys do funny bits. First time meeting/working with Charlie and he's just so damn nice. Really, he's easy to work with and all he wants to do is have fun so I'M DOWN. This is what I love about show business you meet so so so many new people and almost all of them are nice instead arrogant assholes. 

I've become a lot closer to Jimmy, Amy, and Parns recently. We've been hanging out a bunch (whenever possible [and with Jules as well, but it's hard to become closer to him since we're practically glued together as it is]) I just love Parns, everything he says is just so damn funny. We were about to fall asleep last night (it was about 3AM and we were talking) and Parns starts singing Sweeney Todd songs but changing the words and since we were so tired everything was just so damn funny. Good times, goooooood times. 

Day 1 {Charlie Day}

Whenever I come back

The air on railroads, is making the same sound

And the shop fronts on holly

 Are dirty words are asterisks in for the vowels

And we peered the window

Bottoms on barstools

People ending the same

When Christ is inflating

Inflating

Today we filmed Dolphin Movie and Crime Scene! Yup Mondays are not my days to have any filming to do, however I am in that damn play so I've had practice all day...pick up rehearsals are the bestest. I had a dream that the director told me he hated me and that I should stop wearing glasses on stage and that my tights had runs in them and if I didn't stop he'd cut me from the show. 

I woke up thinking that that could've been real life. Ahhhh, MUST DOUBLE CHECK MY LINES.

Take them DOWN

CHARLIE DAY (IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA [MY FAVORITE SHOW NOT ON HULU]) IS HOSTING SNL THIS WEEK.

HERE ARE THE SCENES.

Gaddafi Cold Open (Fred)
Kardashian Divorce Special (Nasim, Kristen, Christina, Abby, Taran, Andy, Jay)
Ask Dr. Oz (Bill)
Gettin' Freaky with Cee Lo (Paul, Jay, Bobby)
Greek Gods (Paul, Bobby, Jason, Bill, Vanessa, Jay, Taran, Christina, Vanessa, Andy, Keenan, Nasim, Kristen, Fred)
Dolphin Movie (Keenan, Taran, Kristen, Paul)
Update (Christina, Bill)
Comedy Tour 2 (Paul, Keenan, Jason, Vanessa, Bobby, Nasim, Kristen, Fred, Seth, Taran, Bill, Andy, Christina)
Crime Scene (Jason, Bill, Bobby)

Really big fucking scenes, oh! the show last night (the play) was FANTASTIC! Got lots of flowers, thank you everyone you're really amazing people. Come see me all this week, next, and the next!

Brasil

I welcome you from Brasil!! THERE ARE SO MANY DAMN BUGS HERE WHAT IS THIS. I've never seen so many gatherings of mosquitos, dragon flies, and lizards (I know not a bug but they're everywhere as well). I unfortunately am only here for a few hours, but at least it's SUNNY! 

Here are some pictures! (By the way Argentina show was fantastic)

Gotta Go to

So in case you haven't noticed I've just been recounting a story to you all every post because obviously I can't write what happened and I don't really want to just because it's all the same. PRACTICE SCENES. GET NOTES. Oh and happy Thursday everyone. Or should I say

HAPPY THURSDAY ARGENTINA! Ah this place is so fuckin' cool. It's like a desert yet coldish. I'm surprised at the amount of poor people here, like kids running around in the streets naked poor. Hell, maybe they're not poor and they're just really excited kids, who knows, but all I know is that I saw kids that LOOK poor. I'm really happy to be taking this break from Broadway and go back to Jules. We went on a day date to a museum, then to some rose gardens, then got pizza for lunch and got some cookies and had a little heart to heart then went to the show! Tomorrow is Brasil and then I'm back home while they stay in Brasil (Sao Paulo).

ROCKIN!

Yippy Yi Yo Kai Yay

Kai is the new props guy and he's literally the shyest person I've ever met. We've been trying to include him in all these activities and he thinks we're hilarious (we meaning the costumes girls and props guys) he just refuses to speak. I love him though, I get so protective over him when the actors get all cocky and seniority-ish. I watched Kai for some cream cheese and our Tony knocked his hand away saying he had more "seniority" than he, so I slapped our Tony back and told him to grow up.

THE NERVE OF SOME PEOPLE....


THE NOISE.

News Day!

Tuesday. I am clever. Today we ran the whole show and it's timed at 2 hours and 10 minutes, which is apparently good for a Broadway show. I know if we ever did an SNL episode that was 2 hours long I'd freak out. So I've been becoming really good friends with the costumes and make-up girls. They're so sweet, it's Megan, Brielle, Elizabeth, and Taylor. I LOVE THEM. They're all mean to this one chick they don't like (Anna) and I think it's pretty hilarious. I mean, I feel bad for the girl, but it's none of my business. Megan did a henna on my hand...fuckin' love it. Love them alllllllllllllllllllllllll

TRUST ME I KNOW THESE POSTS ARE HORRID.

HALLOWEEN 2011 NO REGRETS

NO MORE EGG POSTS! That doesn't mean the titles aren't going to be any less stupider. Staying at the theatre till 10PM every night is the worst, especially on Halloween. I have had no social life for the past week and I won't be having one for this one too. I got to wear my Halloween costume (Vlad the Impaler; thanks to Noel Fielding) at school and chased a lot of people around which was a lot of fun, but then it was straight to the theatre after that and into my Grand Duchess costume. (which is still forever changing, now my hair is on the other side, oy ve) Jules and I go to dinner now every night for my 45 minute break and picks me up after and I'm not gonna lie, being this distanced from him really sucks. I really miss him, and Nasim, and Ryan, and Seth, and Jason, and Noel. I see Nasim at school so that's good but Jules always wants to pull me out of class to hang out and I really can't miss anymore school than I already have. Dinner dates are a lot of fun though.

There's been a lot of drama going around the theatre with people hiding other's costumes and placing bricks inside briefcases to strain out the Hendersons and...it's ridiculous. Grow up, these are professional actors and they're doing such childish things. I hope they read this so they can man up and stop the petty bs cause I'm sick of it. I'm also really fucking tired.

Suned Egg

These egg posts are really just getting stinky. Haha I'm just hilarious. GOSH, I SHOULD BE A COMEDIAN.

Sorry, I've been so damn stressed, we just took publicity photos for YCTIWY. Yeah and YCTIWY just rolls right off the damn tongue. Ah well, they're auditoning for Fiddler on the Roof soon so we'll see how this play goes then I'll do that. Am I crazy? JUST A LITTLE. WOOO.

Today has been pretty nice actually. We had a benefit for Breast Cancer Benefit at NBC and got some big donations (around $30,000) and it was a lot of fun, I was with Seth a lot. I'm telling you, Seth drinks but rarely. So when he gets hammered it's a fucking PARTY. Seriously, Seth is the funniest drunk I've ever encountered.

Oh so my hair for the play is really really curly and so I get to have someone do that everyday and I must confess, having curly hair is the coolest thing in the world. You natural born curly haired people are so damn lucky you have no idea.

Sat Ur Egg

Kind of like Saturday but not really. There's no SNL this week BUT the week after is Charlie Day so, I'm content. This week has been really crazy, but a good crazy. I like being busy but today has just been madness. We stayed at the theatre from 9AM to 9PM doing run throughs with the tech people and what not. I must've gotten 8 new costumes today. My hair style probably changed 8 more times and overall everything changed. The director changes his mind every 10 seconds and what he likes and what not. It's madness. Jules has been with me as much as he 1)can and 2)is allowed to. He did get kicked out today because he wasn't on crew so they didn't want any distractions there. Luke is a mad man. Yesterday's post was a little bare but last night Jules and I had a lovely candlelit dinner in my apartment. I love that boy, I really and truly do. Here's a pic

LOVE YOU ALL. FOR SHO BOYZ.

Witchcraft

I was GOING to call this post Fried Egg (because it sounds like Friday) BUT I GUESS NOT. Apparently I already have a post called Fried Egg Fried Egg. Which I'm sure is a parody of that stupid Friday song by Rebecca Black.

Fun fun fun.