JIMMY
My first guest is the star of the highly anticipated new movie, Nightwing, which comes out Sunday December 1st, you know her, you love her, please welcome Christina Essenelle!
CHRISTINA
(the crowd cheers wildly and CHRISTINA walks out and hugs JIMMY, she is wearing a gold dress that lands right above the knee, she hugs him and sits down while waving to the crowd) I'll never get used to that.
JIMMY
People cheering for you?
CHRISTINA
Yeah, just won't stick.
JIMMY
So, look at you, my, my! (she flips her hair and the audience laughs) Live TV star to movie star...I can't believe I've known you throughout all of it.
CHRISTINA
It's crazy right? And out of all the first films I could've had, I got a superhero film with Chris Nolan as my director.
JIMMY
Not only that transformation but you look so fit!
CHRISTINA
Oh my gosh (a few wolf-whistles from the audience) Well I'm not going to glamorize it, I worked my butt of, like 5 hours a day for 3 months training, because I had to become practically an Olympic gymnast by the end of those three months so, I've got horses legs now.
JIMMY
I've seen the movie by the way, fantastic, absolutely fantastic, I think we have a clip (they play a clip where CHRISTINA is on a balance beam doing cartwheels, flips, and round-offs while GARY OLDMAN is yelling at her, the clip ends and the audience applauds) I mean, that's just amazing! Speaking of amazing, Christina-
CHRISTINA
What?
JIMMY
Let's talk about Saturday Night Live, I mean I've been at almost every single SNL show and you are just fantastic-
CHRISTINA
(the audience applauds) Oh thank you.
JIMMY
Yeah I mean you really are the star of that show-
CHRISTINA
Oh please.
JIMMY
Are there any characters that you would like to do?
CHRISTINA
You know, sometimes I hate being a girl because how many girl impressions are there? Not that many, I mean we've really done them all, Emma Stone, Gwyneth Paltrow, and even for her it was like a character of hers from a movie, cause if you met her in real life she'd just be like a nice person, "Hi, nice to meet you, I was in Iron Man, yes. Let's drink!" (the audience laughs) I mean I don't know. But other than guy impressions I wish I could sing on the show.
JIMMY
Sing huh? So, secrets about Christina, she's a great singer and secretly a man, okay, learning a lot tonight! (the audience laughs) Can you prove it? (the audience cheers loudly)
CHRISTINA
(sarcastically) Oh if only I had something prepared (stage hands bring out a keyboard with masquerade masks on top of it) oh there it is (the audience laughs and cheers as CHRISTINA gets up and sits at the keyboard chair) You guys heard of The Addams Family? (the audience cheers) well, they made a musical, and the characters on that show are so diverse I thought I'd sing you One Normal Night from The Addams Family musical which features 8 different characters (the audience cheers as she then introduces the characters by wearing the masks and singing a sentence in their voice) My name is Wednesday Addams and I am in love. (a different mask) My name is Lucas and I love Wednesday! (a different mask) My name is Morticia and my daughter Wednesday will not be in love! (a different mask) My name is Gomez and I love my sexy wife! (a different mask) My name is Fester and I'm fat and bald. (a different mask) I'm Lucas' father and I don't agree with any of this love business. (a different mask) I'm Lucas' mother and boy do I want to smother! (a different mask) We're the background! (with no mask on) Singing with me is Broadway legend, Jonathan Groff! (the audience applauds) Maestro! (the band starts up and CHRISTINA dons a WEDNESDAY mask)
WEDNESDAY
They're normal people not like you, not like me, please can't we be an average family. (the audience cheers) One normal night that's all I want that's all I need from you. One normal house without a mouse to feed a plant or two! You must admit we're not what people call laid back, so can't we muse a bit and lose the basic black? Wooaooh one, normal night with normal pepole on their way, just one normal night, what do you say?
MORTICIA
One normal night?
WEDNESDAY
To be polite to do the least you can.
GOMEZ
One normal eve?
WEDNESDAY
Can you achieve a kind of common man? You have to swear to me, yes promise to the core. It's almost 6 o'clock they're almost at the door. On all the Addams ancestors who've ever walked alright, one, normal night. (the audience cheers even louder)
BACKGROUND
Do do do do, do do do do, do do do do do doooo.
LUCAS
Wait, this is where I first saw her! Wednesday with a crossbow, and she looked like Diana the huntress.
LUCAS' FATHER
Who?
LUCAS' MOTHER
He's just expressing himself dear, expressing is the poet's art, just simply say what's in your heart!
LUCAS' FATHER
Lucas, your mother's rhyming again, I saw we take a rain check and go back to the hotel!
LUCAS
NO! One normal night, no not one poem not one inspiring word. One normal scene complete routine tonight can't be absurd! Please don't embarrass me or be completely rude. Don't make a fuss about the house about the food, woahohoh one, normal night I know it's big but can't you see, this one normal night is for me.
FESTER
Oh he seems like a nice young man.
BACKGROUND
They're not right for each other.
FESTER
Not right for each other? What do you mean not right for each other? Was Napoleon right for Josephine? Was nausea right for Dramamine? Were the 80's right for the drum machine? Who's to say? Who's to say! Was ballet right for Ballantine? Was polio right for the Salk vaccine? (taking off her mask) Were you folks right for the mezzanine? ...who's to say. (the audience laughs as she puts back on her FESTER mask) One normal night is a perilous trick, normal is hard to attain. Children are crazy and parents are quick, passions are hard to explain. But this is their moment and this is your chance, so if you don't want to remain...start singing of love!
BACKGROUND
What?
FESTER
Love!
BACKGROUND
NO!
FESTER
LOVE!
BACKGROUND
WHY?
FESTER
LOVE!
BACKGROUND
UGH!
FESTER
Only affairs of the heart, your turn!
BACKGROUND
Bringing that love,
FESTER
Yes!
BACKGROUND
Love!
FESTER
Yes!
BACKGROUND
Love!
FESTER
Right!
BACKGROUND
LOVE!
FESTER
Good! Love lets your spirit depart. So, let the normalcy start.
BACKGROUND
Protect and valley round let's leave them in the pit! One normal night is what they'll...
FESTER
GET! (the hoots and hollers for that loud low note)
BACKGROUND
One normal night, one normal night, one normal night, Wednesday wants one normal night, one normal night, one normal night give her just, one normal night, one normal night, one normal night Wednesday wants one, one, one-
WEDNESDAY
ONE! All I want, all I ask-
BACKGROUND
We'll comprehend we'll tend to every need.
LUCAS' PARENTS
(CHRISTINA as LUCAS' MOTHER and JONATHAN GROFF as LUCAS' FATHER) When we arrive we'll come alive to make this night succeed!
LUCAS
Just be respectable don't make an odd remark.
LUCAS' PARENTS
Ok, ok.
WEDNESDAY
Keep undetectable our passion for the dark.
WEDNESDAY'S PARENTS
(CHRISTINA as MORTICIA and JONATHAN as GOMEZ) Just as you say!
WEDNESDAY AND LUCAS
(CHRISTINA as WEDNESDAY and JONATHAN as LUCAS) And then it's paradise right here in central park!
EVERYONE
In one normal, informal, one normal- (with all the masks moved off the keyboard CHRISTINA plays two notes that sound like a boat casting off, everyone laughs) Night! (CHRISTINA then plays the final notes on the piano as well and once she's finished JIMMY runs over and puts an arm around her while the audience is giving her a standing ovation)
JIMMY
Christina Essenelle everybody that was amazing! (she smiles and looks down) Nightwing comes out everywhere Sunday December 1st, again, Christina Essenelle! (while the audience cheers still, JIMMY and CHRISTINA hug each other and smile to the camera, right when it goes off CHRISTINA screams and hugs an oncoming LORNE MICHAELS)
LORNE
It was perfect!
CHRISTINA
I DID IT! (they hug each other tightly) I told you I could do it.
LORNE
I knew you could, you just needed a little push in the right direction.
CHRISTINA
Yeah, yeah. (to JIMMY) You were awesome.
JIMMY
Yeah well what can I say. I still can't believe your voice-
JONATHAN
THAT WAS PERFECT CHRISTINA!!
CHRISTINA
Ahhh we did it!! (the hugs him and he spins her, one of the producers comes around to CHRISTINA and JONATHAN)
GAVIN
Christina you were great, I'd hate to break up this party but we gotta reset for Lenny Kravitz.
CHRISTINA
Oh right, let's celebrate back in my dressing room.
STEVE HIGGINS
(high fives CHRISTINA) I'll see you on Broadway soon dear!
CHRISTINA
Oh my God, stop.
~
Ah, I love my job.
