I arrived to Burbank at around 2 o'clock just to be a little early and talk to Conan about things to say and what not...I've missed him! Conan is such an awesome guy and it's always great to see him again. (fuck you leno) We immediately picked up from where we left off and went to the props room to play with all the different props from previous celebrity interviews. Andy has gotten funnier since I was last on the show, seriously! He's a lot wittier. I'm not sure how that happens, but Andy's quicker with that silver tongue of his. He accidentally cursed on the show tonight, silly Andy.
Here's my interview with the lovely and talented Conan O'Brien:
CONAN
Please welcome my next guest who you know from SNL as the girl in the cast who will literally do anything for a laugh; it's Christina Essenelle! (crowd cheers and applauds)
CHRISTINA
(turning to the audience) Wow! (she waves at the audience then sees that CONAN is squatting and has his arms out in front of him, she takes off her heels and jumps into his arms, CONAN spins her around once. Afterwards she runs back to get her shoes and sits next to CONAN, the applause stops) I missed you!
CONAN
I missed you too! So you're in L.A. now.
CHRISTINA
I'm in L.A. now-well for the summer at least.
CONAN
That's exciting, so are you doing any shows or films around here?
CHRISTINA
No, just hanging out.
CONAN
You're just hanging out?
CHRISTINA
I know that sounds ridiculous but yes, I'm just hanging out. Sight seeing and what not. I went to the L.A. Zoo the other day!
CONAN
Well that's fun, did you see anything cool?
CHRISTINA
Oh yeah there were tons of animals and I counted: seven different schools brought like 30 eight year-olds.
ANDY
Wait. Seven different schools brought a lot of eight year olds or seven different schools brought 38 year-olds. (the audience laughs)
CHRISTINA
Just a lot of grown men in school is what I'm saying.
CONAN
Oh good.
CHRISTINA
You know all day today I was looking around my back every 10 seconds to make sure you weren't behind me with a camera crew.
CONAN
(laughs) For those of you that don't know, I-on two separate occasions, followed Christina Essenelle around, even went to one of her classes with her, and she didn't notice for at least an hour each time.
CHRISTINA
The first time it was 3 hours.
ANDY
I usually don't notice a 7 foot skeleton behind me either.
CONAN
Well that's just because you're used to it.
ANDY
True. (the audience laughs)
CONAN
But in all seriousness, you're here in L.A. not promoting anything but you have to be doing something to keep you busy here.
CHRISTINA
Yeah, no I am. Basically I've been working with a few comedians/writers Monday through Thursday from 10 to 3 and we're thinking of either doing a TV show or something of that sort. Maybe we'll write a stand-up set who knows, I just wanted to be busy and funny this summer.
CONAN
And what better way to do it.
CHRISTINA
Yeah, I've written comedy before just not in an actual office setting.
CONAN
So what's it like, do you all just sit at a table and make each other laugh all day?
CHRISTINA
It's actually pretty quiet in there. We'll put all of your jokes into the google doc and then every now and then you'll hear a chuckle and then someone say "good joke, Essenelle".
CONAN
They call you Essenelle?
CHRISTINA
Yeah, it's pretty funny too cause I feel like I'm representing all of Saturday Night Live just by having that as my last name.
ANDY
SNL now lives in Los Angeles.
CONAN
Live from LA it's Monday night!
CHRISTINA
(CHRISTINA and the audience laugh) Exactly. I don't think I'll change it though. Maybe if I get married.
CONAN
Well what if you're shamed off the show or something and you still go around with Essenelle as your last name.
ANDY
SNL robs bank. (the audience laughs)
CHRISTINA
(to ANDY) That would literally be the only way I would be shamed off the show. I've got tenure, man.
CONAN
(laughs) You said that like you were ending a rap song, "fifty dollar hummer limo-I've got tenure, man"
CHRISTINA
(laughs loudly) Fifty dollar hummer limo?!
CONAN
Isn't that what they rap about nowadays?
ANDY
Conan you're too white for this show.
CONAN
Apparently so. (CHRISTINA is still laughing) Well I can't thank you enough for taking the time out of your busy schedule to come talk to us.
CHRISTINA
Of course! I love hanging out with Big Red. (the audience laughs as CONAN looks at the audience with disgust)
CONAN
(pointing to the curtains) OUT WITH YOU!
CHRISTINA
(giggling) Sorry.
CONAN
Ladies and gentlemen, Christina Essenelle! (the band starts playing and the audience is clapping and cheering while CONAN and CHRISTINA whisper to each other on the couches)
CONAN
I missed you too! So you're in L.A. now.
CHRISTINA
I'm in L.A. now-well for the summer at least.
CONAN
That's exciting, so are you doing any shows or films around here?
CHRISTINA
No, just hanging out.
CONAN
You're just hanging out?
CHRISTINA
I know that sounds ridiculous but yes, I'm just hanging out. Sight seeing and what not. I went to the L.A. Zoo the other day!
CONAN
Well that's fun, did you see anything cool?
CHRISTINA
Oh yeah there were tons of animals and I counted: seven different schools brought like 30 eight year-olds.
ANDY
Wait. Seven different schools brought a lot of eight year olds or seven different schools brought 38 year-olds. (the audience laughs)
CHRISTINA
Just a lot of grown men in school is what I'm saying.
CONAN
Oh good.
CHRISTINA
You know all day today I was looking around my back every 10 seconds to make sure you weren't behind me with a camera crew.
CONAN
(laughs) For those of you that don't know, I-on two separate occasions, followed Christina Essenelle around, even went to one of her classes with her, and she didn't notice for at least an hour each time.
CHRISTINA
The first time it was 3 hours.
ANDY
I usually don't notice a 7 foot skeleton behind me either.
CONAN
Well that's just because you're used to it.
ANDY
True. (the audience laughs)
CONAN
But in all seriousness, you're here in L.A. not promoting anything but you have to be doing something to keep you busy here.
CHRISTINA
Yeah, no I am. Basically I've been working with a few comedians/writers Monday through Thursday from 10 to 3 and we're thinking of either doing a TV show or something of that sort. Maybe we'll write a stand-up set who knows, I just wanted to be busy and funny this summer.
CONAN
And what better way to do it.
CHRISTINA
Yeah, I've written comedy before just not in an actual office setting.
CONAN
So what's it like, do you all just sit at a table and make each other laugh all day?
CHRISTINA
It's actually pretty quiet in there. We'll put all of your jokes into the google doc and then every now and then you'll hear a chuckle and then someone say "good joke, Essenelle".
CONAN
They call you Essenelle?
CHRISTINA
Yeah, it's pretty funny too cause I feel like I'm representing all of Saturday Night Live just by having that as my last name.
ANDY
SNL now lives in Los Angeles.
CONAN
Live from LA it's Monday night!
CHRISTINA
(CHRISTINA and the audience laugh) Exactly. I don't think I'll change it though. Maybe if I get married.
CONAN
Well what if you're shamed off the show or something and you still go around with Essenelle as your last name.
ANDY
SNL robs bank. (the audience laughs)
CHRISTINA
(to ANDY) That would literally be the only way I would be shamed off the show. I've got tenure, man.
CONAN
(laughs) You said that like you were ending a rap song, "fifty dollar hummer limo-I've got tenure, man"
CHRISTINA
(laughs loudly) Fifty dollar hummer limo?!
CONAN
Isn't that what they rap about nowadays?
ANDY
Conan you're too white for this show.
CONAN
Apparently so. (CHRISTINA is still laughing) Well I can't thank you enough for taking the time out of your busy schedule to come talk to us.
CHRISTINA
Of course! I love hanging out with Big Red. (the audience laughs as CONAN looks at the audience with disgust)
CONAN
(pointing to the curtains) OUT WITH YOU!
CHRISTINA
(giggling) Sorry.
CONAN
Ladies and gentlemen, Christina Essenelle! (the band starts playing and the audience is clapping and cheering while CONAN and CHRISTINA whisper to each other on the couches)
Thanks again to Conan for having me! Loved every minute, night folks!
