KIMMEL
Our first guest just starred in her first feature film Nightwing and is one of the funniest people I've met, ladies and gentlemen, Emmy award winning actress Christina Essenelle! (CHRISTINA comes out and waves to the crowd smiling, KIMMEL gets up and hugs her quickly and then sits back down)
CHRISTINA
(sweeping her hair back) Woo! I made it. (he laughs and there's a pause between them) What? You look like you're gonna throw-up!
KIMMEL
(laughs) It's weird, you've been here all day and now we have to be all professional.
CHRISTINA
Ha ha, I know. No more tom-foolery.
KIMMEL
I just want to thank you again for inviting me to your premiere-
CHRISTINA
Oh of course!
KIMMEL
And Guillermo and his whole family. Wasn't that nice of her Guillermo?
GUILLERMO
Yes, thank you Miss Christina!
CHRISTINA
Anytime.
KIMMEL
I mean that was such a crazy event, I went there thinking, oh yeah I'm gonna hang out with Christina and watch a movie and then drink after (CHRISTINA laughs shaking her head) But you were all over the place, shaking hands, and taking pictures...what was that like?
CHRISTINA
It was pretty surreal, yeah that's why I made sure we were sitting next to each other when they showed the movie cause I knew I wouldn't see you otherwise. I felt so bad for Bradley, he was hanging around Jeremy Renner for most of the event because I was just running around like a madwoman.
KIMMEL
Yeah it was insane! But Christina, (takes her wrist) this movie was amazing. I'm so proud of you, really.(she laughs and the audience cheers) Have any of you seen it? (the audience cheers and CHRISTINA immediately perks up)
CHRISTINA
Really? Oh wow, then yeah let's have a chat about it.
KIMMEL
Oh now you want to?
CHRISTINA
Well this is like one of the first interviews I've done since the premiere so yeah, let's discuss the movie.
KIMMEL
I know you pretty well-
CHRISTINA
Very well I'd say.
KIMMEL
Right. And I could see glimpses of you in your Barbara Gordon, your character, was that what you wanted?
CHRISTINA
Yeah I wanted her to be as real as possible for a comic book hero, it was like Barbara was basically me, and then Batgirl was everything I wanted to be.
KIMMEL
Was it hard to channel that super heroine within you?
CHRISTINA
Haha, well you know I'm just so used to being an evil demon that pretending to be good was very hard for me (the audience laughs) No, I mean, it's easy to play the hero, but I tried to add some light to the hero, make her vulnerable, you know?
KIMMEL
Well, without giving anything away, Batgirl does have a very dark ending...
CHRISTINA
Well and even then there's light in it. I'm not gonna give away then ending but, well, yeah I really shouldn't say anything. (the audience laughs) Yeah, see they understand. (to the audience) It's so good, right? (the audience cheers even louder with some wolf whistles)
KIMMEL
(laughing) You can't just ask the audience if they liked the ending!
CHRISTINA
But they love me Jimmy. (the audience yells and claps again and some guy yells I LOVE YOU CHRISTINA and she laughs loudly) What'd I say?
KIMMEL
Speaking of people loving you, even though I battle him for ratings...the Friday before Thanksgiving Late Night with Jimmy Fallon had it's highest ratings.
CHRISTINA
I know, people are obsessed with him now that he's moving to The Tonight Show.
KIMMEL
What, no, because of you! You sang like a regular Broadway actress!
CHRISTINA
Oh, well thank you. Jimmy's actually-
FALLON
(JIMMY FALLON comes out of the curtain and points at JIMMY KIMMEL) J'accuse!
KIMMEL
Speak of the handsome devil...what're you doing here Fallon!
FALLON
Christina, you betrayed me! I thought you chose me as your favorite Jimmy!
CHRISTINA
Oh boy, Jimmy Fallon, I love you but I'm just weirdly closer to Jimmy Kimmel! Besides, you have a guest on your show that you love very much too!
FALLON
Who?
JUSTIN
(JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE pops his head out of the curtain) Jimmy come back, why'd you leave? (the audience screams and laughs)
FALLON
(eyes glaring at CHRISTINA and KIMMEL) Oh.
KIMMEL
Well, this was fun but Christina and I, who have a better bond than you and Justin do, have to finish our interview-
FALLON
You think you and Christina have a better bond than Justin and I? We've known each other for years! I challenge the two of you!
CHRISTINA
To what?
JUSTIN
Newlywed Game!
FALLON
(giving JUSTIN a funny look) No we changed the name, remember? The Host-Guest Game. Come on Justin!
KIMMMEL
We accept, ladies and gentlemen we'll be right back so Christina and I can show up Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake
~commercial break~
KIMMEL
Okay, so how this works is Guillermo will ask a question to the not Jimmys of the group, they will write down their answers and then once all the answers are written down we'll find out what the Jimmys would have said.
FALLON
Seems easy enough.
KIMMEL
I swear if we don't win...there'll be hell to pay.
CHRISTINA
Damn son. (everyone laughs)
KIMMEL
Alright, let's get started. Guillermo what's the first question?
GUILLERMO
Ok, ok, question number 1, (FALLON starts laughing and the audience does as well)
CHRISTINA
Come on Fallon, this ain't an SNL sketch! (the audience ooos)
FALLON
Right, cause if it was you'd be making out with Kimmel! (the audience oos louder and CHRISTINA and FALLON laugh and snap their fingers at one another)
JUSTIN
We really want to win.
KIMMEL
(laughs) Clearly. Ok, Guillermo the question.
GUILLERMO
Justin and Christina, where did Jimmy grow up? (CHRISTINA rolls her eyes and writes her answer down, JUSTIN looks at FALLON for a second with confusion and then writes down his answer)
CHRISTINA
Wait, is this where they grew up or where they were born?
GUILLERMO
Where did Jimmy grow up.
CHRISTINA
Ok. (the audience laughs)
GUILLERMO
Next question!
KIMMEL
Wait! Are they finished?
GUILLERMO
Oh. Are you finished?
JUSTIN AND CHRISTINA
(laugh) Yes.
GUILLERMO
Question two! Where did Jimmy go to college?
KIMMEL
(her mouth is momentarily agape) You know this!
CHRISTINA
Do I? (she laughs and writes something down) We'll see about that.
JUSTIN
Well looks like I've got this one in the bag.
CHRISTINA
What!
GUILLERMO
Finished? (no response) Ok, question 3, what nationality is Jimmy.
FALLON
(JUSTIN and CHRISTINA immediately write down their answers) Apparently this is an easy question. (everyone laughs)
GUILLERMO
Last question! How would Jimmy describe himself in bed, a tender lover, all-night party, or a slug. (everyone laughs loudly)
CHRISTINA
Ha ha, oh man.
JUSTIN
(JUSTIN looks at FALLON, pondering the options and then puts his marker on the board saying) Of course. (the audience laughs)
KIMMEL
(pointing to FALLON and JUSTIN) Hey hide your answers cheaters!
FALLON
(shaking a fist) KIMMEL!! (the audience laughs)
GUILLERMO
Ok, now Jimmy's you will answer questions about Justin and Christina.
FALLON
YEAH!
KIMMEL
YOU'RE GOING DOWN FALLON!
FALLON
LIKE YOUR RATINGS! (the audience oos again and CHRISTINA laughs and puts up her arms to hold KIMMEL back)
CHRISTINA
Guys...we all love each other here. (they make faces at each other)
GUILLERMO
Jimmys, question 1, what's the weirdest thing Christina and Justin collect? (everyone laughs and both JIMMYs silently write down their answers) Next, what is Justin and Christina's favorite type of liquor? (both JIMMYs laugh) Why is it so easy?
KIMMEL
I don't think there's been an occasion where Christina and I don't drink together.
FALLON
Same.
GUILLERMO
Okay, next question, where were Justin and Christina born?
FALLON
(laughs) You're dead in the water Kimmel.
KIMMEL
Like hell.
GUILLERMO
Last question, which would Justin and Christina prefer, sex with the lights on, sex on a plane, or sex tied down to a bed?(JUSTIN and CHRISTINA give GUILLERMO a look that is just plain horror and then they both laugh, the audience is in fits of laughter)
CHRISTINA
Think about it Jimmy.
KIMMEL
I mean...I hope you're thinking what I'm thinking.
FALLON
What kind of show are you running here Kimmel?
KIMMEL
The sexiest one on air! (the audience is still laughing from the question) Ok, so now the Jimmys give the answers to the first questions and then Justin and Christina will reveal those answers. So Guillermo, repeat the first questions.
GUILLERMO
Ok, Mr. Fallon, where did you grow up?
FALLON
I grew up in Saugerties, New York. (JUSTIN laughs first and then reveals his card and it reads SOMEWHERE NEAR ALBANY, NEW YORK. The audience laughs) That's technically correct.
KIMMEL
Eh...we'll give you a point.
GUILLERMO
Okay, Mr. Kimmel, where did you grow up?
KIMMEL
Well, that would be in the wonderful land of Las Vegas, Nevada.
CHRISTINA
YES! (she excitedly reveals her card to show it says LAS VEGAS, NEVADA)
KIMMEL
IN YOUR FACE! (FALLON waves a hand in his faces and then CHRISTINA and JUSTIN deposit the used cards into a little bin in front of their podiums)
GUILLERMO
Next question, Mr. Fallon, where did you go to college?
FALLON
If you don't get this I'm ashamed to know you, but, I went to the College of Saint Rose in Albany, New York.
JUSTIN
Buddy, I almost went to your reunion (he reveals the car which says COLLEGE OF ST. ROSE) how could I forget? (the audience cheers and JUSTIN and FALLON hug and the raise their hands to KIMMEL and CHRISTINA as to intimidate them)
GUILLERMO
Mr. Kimmel, where did you go to college?
KIMMEL
Well, I can only imagine Christina got this wrong because I went to two colleges and didn't graduate from either so, (places a hand on CHRISTINA's shoulder) it's okay if you got this wrong but I went to University of Nevada and then went to Arizona State.
CHRISTINA
(sighs) I knew you never got a bachelor's degree, but thank the lord (she reveals her card to say ARIZONA STATE AND U OF NEVADA IN LAS VEGAS) I pay attention to your drunken rants (the audience cheers loudly and the teams are tied)
GUILLERMO
Next, Mr. Fallon, what nationality are you?
FALLON
Irish!
JUSTIN
Easy (his card says IRISH and has little bottles of liquor drawn in on the sides, the audience laughs)
GUILLERMO
Mr. Kimmel?
KIMMEL
German and Irish.
CHRISTINA
(CHRISTINA revealed her card to say IRISH AND GERMAN) And I only remembered this because he told me he was a nazi alcoholic and that he should be sent to jail once (everyone laughs, especially KIMMEL)
KIMMEL
That's right!
GUILLERMO
Last question-
FALLON
I'm excited for this one (KIMMEL laughs)
GUILLERMO
Mr. Fallon are you a slug, a tender lover, or a all-night party?
FALLON
Well I'd like to think Justin put tender lover down, but since I'm a late night talk show host and Justin and I party together...I'm gonna say all-night party.
JUSTIN
(JUSTIN reveals his card which says TENDER LOVER) No...! You're such a good lover man. (the audience laughs and CHRISTINA and KIMMEL high five and dance in their podium)
FALLON
Alright, let's see what Essenelle put!
GUILLERMO
Mr. Kimmel?
KIMMEL
Oh I'm definitely a slug.
CHRISTINA
SLUG!!! (her card says SLUG BUG and there's a picture of a snail at the bottom of the card and KIMMEL and CHRISTINA get up and chest bump each other, the audience laughs and cheers)
GUILLERMO
Ok, Mr. Justin, (JUSTIN laughs) what is the weirdest thing you collect?
JUSTIN
Well I actually collect a lot of things, but I think the weirdest one would be my sneaker collection(with a big grin on his face he reveals his card which says GYM SHOES)
CHRISTINA
Gym shoes? What other shoes would he wear to the gym other than sneakers? (the audience laughs and FALLON puts up a hand)
FALLON
None of your sass Miss Essenelle.
GUILLERMO
Miss Christina, what's the weirdest thing you collect?
CHRISTINA
Well I only really collect one thing and that's beer tabs, I want to make a lamp out of all my beer tabs.
KIMMEL
Oh no! (he reveals his card to show PINS) I forgot you did that, aaagghhh!!
CHRISTINA
NO! Agh, well I also have a weird pin collection. (the audience laughs)
FALLON
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE TIED AGAIN! (JUSTIN and FALLON make faces at KIMMEL and CHRISTINA and they do the same back to them)
GUILLERMO
Last three questions! Mr. Justin, what's your favorite type of liquor?
JUSTIN
I would stop being your friend if you didn't get this, tequila.
FALLON
(reveals his card to say TEQUILA) You started your own brand of tequila, I assumed you liked it.
GUILLERMO
Christina?
CHRISTINA
Oh, vodka. Definitely vodka.
KIMMEL
(with a smirk on his face he flips over his card that says VODKA and he and CHRISTINA high five without looking at each other, the audience cheers)
GUILLERMO
Mr. Justin where were you born?
JUSTIN
Memphis, Tennessee! (the audience cheers and cheers even louder when FALLON gets the question right)
GUILLERMO
And Miss Christina where were you born?
CHRISTINA
Well, despite it being somewhat a mystery, I'm going to deduce I was born in New York City. (the audience laughs and then cheers when KIMMEL also gets it right)
GUILLERMO
Ok, this one for all the marble.
KIMMEL
All the marble in the world. (everyone laughs)
GUILLERMO
Ok, Mr. Justin, which do you prefer, sex with the lights on, sex on a plane, or sex tied down to a bed?
JUSTIN
You know I don't know...I've never had sex on a plane so I guess I'd say that one.
FALLON
What! (FALLON shows his card and it says SEXY SEX WITH THE LIGHTS ON) So you could see Jessica better.
JUSTIN
(he puts his head down and laughs) Oh my God.
CHRISTINA
(shaking KIMMEL) IF WE GET THIS RIGHT WE WIN. JIMMY I SWEAR..!!
GUILLERMO
Ok, ok, ok, Miss Christina, sex with lights on, sex on a plane, or sex tied down to a bed.
CHRISTINA
(CHRISTINA bites her lip and looks at KIMMEL to see if they're on the same mindset) I really hope you got this right, I can't lose to Jimmy Fallon.
FALLON
SAY IT!
CHRISTINA
Sex...tied down to a bed. (KIMMEL hugs CHRISTINA and then shows his card to the camera and it says KINKY SEX TIED TO A BED. Once CHRISTINA reads it she screams and jumps up and down and the band starts playing) IN YOUR FACE!
KIMMEL
To be fair, Christina and I practically lived together last summer.
FALLON
Yeah, yeah. (they all laugh and hug and KIMMEL signs off for the night)
