A Week in the Arctic

It was supposed to be Julian, Fab and Alex Turner (of the Arctic Monkeys) staying at my place from December 17th through the 27th and then Colorado till the 3rd and then back in CA till the 10th. But then The Strokes decided now would be the perfect time to start studio recording/travelling to find the perfect studio A.K.A. I spent the 21st-24th with just Alex. It was actually a lot of fun! He's a really sweet guy. The first day we spent literally drinking tea, reading magazines, and wrapping presents. The next day we joined Illy (the girls didn't join the boys on their music bonding bro trip) to the doctor and then got In n Out because ALEX HAD NEVER GONE BEFORE. It was delicious. Then we went out to dinner with the rest of the Arctic Monkeys to Cafe Gratitude (a vegan restaurant in LA) and then slept over at Matt Helder's place after watching a movie and Friends on netflix. Next day was more wrapping, more tea, more magazines, video games, TV, and then Justyna and I went to a Lakers game and watched them get their asses handed to them by the Oklahoma thunder. After hitting up the bars I went home, bothered Alex for a while, and then crashed. 

Julian and the gang came back Christmas Eve! We had all 15 of us (five strokes, four strokes girlfriends, four arctic monkeys, two kids) in my California house. We had a nice dinner, plenty of wine, lots of laughs. I love the other members of the Arctic Monkeys, they remind me of a combination of Fab and Nikolai, hilarious and quiet.

Christmas was a MASSIVE success. I (in order) got a giant crystal vase with dozens of flowers from Albert and Justyna, massive bouquet of edible arrangements from Matt Helders, a security system that goes to my iPhone from Nick Valensi, a crystal skull filled with vodka from Amanda, a set of gorgeous gold foil mugs from Fab, a pottery class for Illy and I to do together in Colorado from Illy, a very pretty necklace from Nikolai, a set of fancy teas from Jamie (suggestion a la Alex), bath and body works massive gift basket from Nick O'Malley, and, literally the coolest fucking thing from someone I've literally known a week:well, let me explain first. Alex and I were talking about British shows and I was telling him that I was excited to watch the 2015 Big Fat Quiz of the Year because of David Mitchell, Richard Ayoade, etc. and he said that he'd never seen the show, so, we watched 2013, 2014 and then 2011 to watch me make a hugh fool of myself and I was telling him how I'd love to be on the show again but I'd only really do it with Noel, Richard, Matt Berry or someone else I had worked with. So, Alex got me two things: one of which being the coolest fucking thing ever: a spot on the Big Fat Quiz of Everything, AKA filming right after we get back from Colorado AND Noel and Richard are on the show as well as Jonathan Ross and Chelsea Peretti!! Alex is joining me, of course, and we ARE GOING TO WIN! I am so fucking excited, I have so much to do, I need to get a plane ticket, a rockin' outfit for the taping, beg Noel to let Alex and I stay with him, etc., etc. The other gift is also amazing, it's the right to a small tattoo of my choosing on any part of Alex and I AM EXCITED. Lastly I got the best gift ever from the best person ever, Jules. I got a HOUSE. It's the current house that I'm renting and it's been a pain in the ass but I could never get it and the owner kept saying that I couldn't buy it but somehow Julian negotiated and I am now a homeowner! I just have to sign some paperwork and then I own Christina's Palace of Crazy!

In terms of giving gifts I gave Fab these awesome fur shoes, customized wood coasters with AM on one side and O'Malley on the other for Nick O'Malley, a Harry and David massive gift of everything food related for Jamie, a bottle of wine with Amanda's name on it, a trip for two to Napa Valley for Nick Valensi to take Amanda, a water color class in Colorado to take with Illy (what a coincidence that we got similar things for one another!), a paint printed group photo of all of us for Matt, a base strap customized with pictures of Nikolai and Illy's kids for Nikolai, a go pro for Albert, a boho dress for Justyna, a horse back riding trip for Alex and me and a mixtape of his 10 favorite songs sung a la me because of something that happened over the week, and a 10 day European vacation for Julian and I in March!! We are going to Munich, Vienna, Venice, Verona, Lucerne, and then we end back in Germany (Frankfurt). What an amazing haul, loving every minute of this combined Christmas!

Cloudy and gloomy in LA this week

 Alex pointed out a cross in the wood of Cafe Gratitude and I took a picture because our waiter asked us what we believed in as the "question of the day"

 calabasas!

 the goofs

 lakers game from our box!

goofs take 2

California/Colorado

Julian Casablancas
Alex Turner-lead vocals
Fab Moretti
Matt Helders-drums
Nick Valensi
Jamie Cook-guitar
Nikolai Fraiture
Nick O'Malley-bass
Albert Hammond Jr.


Christina's House of Crazy
Julian Casablancas
Fab Moretti
Alex Turner
Matt Helders

Nikolai's California Paradise
Wife and kids
Nick Valensi and Amanda DeCadanet
Albert Hammond Jr. and Justyna Sroka

And then the rest of the Arctic Monkeys are with family. I really like the Arctic Monkeys! We flew from New York together to California and we're all travelling to Colorado together for some winter fun!

By the way in terms of interviews for A Brief Pause, they are being transcribed!

Fuck Ties

What a wonderful tour it has been! Jules and I are on a separate touring vehicle so there's not the constant bickering and bitching about my presence and it's also like a mini vacation. I am leaving tonight however because I start working at Viacom doing some development with the teams over there. However I'm only missing the middle east tour destinations (Israel and Turkey) and I'm quite alright with missing those. I got to hang out with Robert Downy Jr. the other day! (Switzerland) He was there vacationing and we spent a night out while Julian performed. It was definitely a lot of fun.

Here's a pic of the babe at the pool.

Dinner Bash

Oh how things heated up right after I posted yesterday's blog! Well, after I posted it Nikolai and I were joking around cause it was late and everyone was getting drunk and we were just kind of watching fearfully and so Niko bet me $50 that after Beardo finished his drink he would dance on the table and I bet him $50 that after Justyna's drink she'd straddle Albert. WELL, right after Beardo finished his drink he stood up and I grabbed Nikolai's hands and braced for the imminent dance and this happened:

BEARDO

Everyone...I'd just like to make a toast, it's great having both bands together having a good time, cause you know what? We're both great bands and we should celebrate the music! (ALBERT rolls his eyes and whispers something to NICK) What're you rollin' your eyes for, man?

ALBERT

What? Nothing dude, calm down.

BEARDO

Fuck you man I was trying to say something nice. (a few hands go up to sit BEARDO down but ALBERT puts his hands up to calm them)

ALBERT

It's alright, it's alright. He's just upset he couldn't play the guitar riffs today-(BEARDO nearly jumps the table while AMIR and JAKE hold him back and FAB hits ALBERT on the shoulder scolding him. CHRISTINA and NIKOLAI are now laughing quietly while covering their faces)

BEARDO

(to CHRISTINA) And what the fuck are you laughing at? You're the one who caused all of this!

CHRISTINA

(incredulously) Me?! 

BEARDO

Yeah! You ended the Strokes and so we came out and now you made us have to be friends with them! (CHRISTINA is agape and no one says anything, she turns to JULIAN who has his head down and is shaking his head. CHRISTINA gets up and slaps down JULIAN's hand which tried to grab her back. She goes up to BEARDO who is now seated and gets on his eye level and stares him down)

CHRISTINA

I don't give a fuck what you think. (she turns and walks away but BEARDO pushes her and without missing a beat she kicks one of the legs of his chair and it breaks causing him to fall on the ground. She continues to walk away as BEARDO gets up from the ground and lunges for her but misses and hits his head on the ground) Somebody clean this up. (and she leaves)

So, I didn't win the bet but I did get to watch Beardo knock himself unconscious, fucking drunk idiot. By the time I got to the room Julian was already there and I was so mad I almost went home, but, I don't quit that easily. I got three texts post-fight from Niko, Fab, and Ryan all asking if I was okay meanwhile I got one text from Jeff asking the same. It is now clear to me which band cares about my well-being more. 

Primavera and Politics

We are in Barcelona Spain for the Strokes/Voidz at Primavera Sound!

First of all I'd like to say that I mentioned to Julian that it might anger the other members of The Strokes if The Voidz played Strokes songs, he did not listen, I am not accountable for his decisions.
Second of all, we all know Albert and Julian have the worst relationship out of all of the Strokes so, that reaction video is kind of obvious, no?
Third, I thought Albert's solo set was rad.
Fourth, DID YOU GUYS SEE THE HUMAN SADNESS (HS) VIDEO? A+++++
Fifth, I am still promoting Strokes as well as Voidz but you have to keep in mind that the Strokes are freakin' huge and the Voidz need more help.
Sixth, Julian has started a political blog, talk to them youngings about the good word. I dunno.
Seventh, Saw San Andreas in Spain, it was also rad, and scary. Thank God I live in NYC most of the time.
Eighth, Julian did dye his hair, it certainly is edgy.
Ninth, Strokes and Voidz do not get along, it is awkward and awful.
Tenth, Get me out of here.
Eleventh, Yes I was in the HS video, I did not promote it because it was almost cut. #realhumansadness
Twelfth, Justnya is here! She wanted me to mention that.
Thirteenth, I am blogging this from my phone we are all at dinner (Voidz, Strokes, girlfriends and management). It is an interesting table, I am in between Jules -who is in constant conversation with the Voidz side of the table- and Nikolai, who is very quiet. But I am across from Ryan Gentles (!!) so that's good. Table is kinda like this:

              Jake     Alex     Cult          Ryan          Nick         Fab
Beardo                                                                                           Albert
              Amir    Jeff     Julian     Christina     Nikolai     Justyna  

(Cult is a cult records person whose name I did not get)
Pics!

Fab and Nick and a glimmer of Niko

Albert, Niko, and MY LOVE RYAN GENTLES

Niko being a badass

Voidz

Voidz

How Long's It Been?

Since I did one of these fanmail asks? WELL! I'll do 15 since it's been a while:

1. Hey Christina, long time fan, got any plans once your SNL contract is up in 2017?
Holy shit, 2017 is actually not that far away, aka its been almost SEVEN YEARS since I got on this crazy train. Well I'm probably gonna do movies for a while, if they'll let me...I know I'll be done with this next one by the fall and it'll be a summer hit so we'll see what happens after that, but I'm gonna guess more movies.

2. I'm trying to get back together with my ex (#boomerang!) any advice?
Don't try. Honestly. Just move on and become a better person and if they want that better person they'll hit you up and if they don't they're an idiot. Don't chase after someone that doesn't want you.

3. Any tips for someone trying to enter the stand-up scene?
I personally don't do a whole lot of stand-up but I know a lot of people who do and they all pretty much take the same course of action, start small, practice at open-mics and then start auditioning for bigger and better venues. That's all I can say I'm sorry :/

4. You're one night show was AMAZING, like seriously, you are so freakin talented its incredible, was there anything you didn't do that night you wish you couldve?
I wanted to do target practice but they wouldn't let me because they thought it'd be hazardous! Also I'm great at hand-to-hand combat but I'd need a person to fight with and I just couldn't find anyone.

5. Are you having anyone live with you this summer other than Julian?
Eh, here and there. Drew (Barrymore) was here for a day and Kimmel was here as well but no one has taken up a bedroom or anything like that. It's less party pad and more love boat, I'll survive.

6. What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you in bed?
It was embarrassing at first but then super awesome after but, I said the wrong name in bed. LET ME EXPLAIN, Julian and I have been super obsessed with The Blacklist lately and we were *ahem* in bed and I was thinking of James Spader during and well..that name came out! BUT the second it happened Jules laughed and said "You were thinking of James Spader?? I was thinking of Agent Keen!" (leading female in The Blacklist) It was funny, and surprisingly brought us closer together.

7. Christina I miss your posts!! Watch any good shows or movies?
Blacklist and Secretary  (can you tell I'm on a James Spader binge?) Secretary is a better 50 Shades and is more accurate to the Dominant/Submissive lifestyle (or so I've been told)

8. Craziest drunk story?
I actually had to think about this one for a while, I think the craziest night was two Halloween's ago when Jules and I were still together and I got blackout drunk and had to literally be carried home. The entire next day I only ate soup and slept till 4pm. Eh, that's not that crazy I just can't think of anything.

9. What's something you've done before that you'll never do again? Much love <3 :D
Shots of Jager or Sambouca. Never again.

10. Out of all the guys you've kissed who was the worst?
Louis C.K. for the obvious reason that he was (instructed to) licking my face and inhaling my nose. I had fun though, haha.

11. Nightwing literally changed my life you are stunning in it, favorite day of filming that movie?
I think my favorite day was when I was literally so exhausted from the 12 hour day that I crashed during a scene in the bed and to be woken up so gently by Gary Oldman was quite the memory.

12. Who's been your favorite SNL guest host!
Oooooo good question. I think Amy Poehler is my favorite host because she was my first! Her being my first host led to such an amazing relationship with her and she is so protective of me and I love her for that.

13. Top 3 new TV shows that you watch, and whhhhhhhyyyyy :O
Broad City: Oh my god, if you haven't seen this show you must. It is so funny, so original, so empowering, flawless, ridiculous, real, it's a perfect show and it just makes me laugh to no end, WATCH IT.
Blacklist: Such a thrilling action, crime, drama, mystery that keeps you at the edge of your seat every episode. Also, James Spader is GOD.
Inside Amy Schumer: I didn't think I'd like this show because it was very dirty humour but it's actually really well done and I like it a lot. The interviews are a joy to watch and it's good to have some variety in an otherwise pretty standard sketch comedy show.

14. Why did you and Bradley break-up? :(
I think Bradley and I got together for the wrong reasons. I was feeling super lonely and he was there and was obviously very attractive and he was basically this security blanket for me and once I got over Julian (or really, got the opportunity to get back with him) I realized that we didn't love each other and that we were just using each other. Also he had another girlfriend sooooooooooooooooooo

15. Christina you are such a strong and funny woman, do you look up to other woman for inspiration?
Abso-fuckin-lutely. Julia Luis-Dreyfus, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Broad City Gals Abbi and Ilana, Ellie Kemper, Ellen Degeneres, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig, Kristen Schaal, the list goes on.

Adios amigos.

California Adventure Take 2

Christina and Jules hit California!...tomorrow. First off we are in Tampa, Florida for the Big Guava Music Festival, The Strokes are playing together again! We got here a few days ago and have been hanging out like them good ol' days. Justyna is here as well but Illy couldn't come :( my lady partner in crime is sadly at home taking care of Niko and her lil' babies. Here's the summer schedule!

May 9th-Florida

May 10th-May 28th-California

May 29th-Barcelona

May 30th-Barcelona

May 31st-Paris

June 2nd-Vienna

June 4th-Zurich

June 6th-Czechoslovakia 

June 8th-Croatia

June 9th-Italy

June 11th-Israel

June 14th-Istanbul

June 18th-London

June 19th-August 24th-California

And I think there will be a trip to Vegas in there for my birthday! Very exciting. I'm not 100% sure if I'll be with The Voidz past Croatia because I'm working at Viacom this summer for developing a new series but I'm not sure yet, we'll see how the first 8 shows go, considering I'm not the Voidz favorite person.

Here are some pics! Nick at beach and a night out drinking with Nick

Cute pic of Albert and Justyna :)

Next!

It's official ladies and gentlemen, I am starting my next movie. Different director! It is directed by Ben Affleck, and stars 5 amazing stars: James McAvoy, Robert Sean Leonard, Emma Stone, Adam Scott and Me! And yes, I just referred to myself as an amazing star. My husband in the movie is Robert Sean Leonard and Emma and Adam Scott are married in the movie as well, it's great. I'm very excited. We did a read through of the whole thing on Monday and then yesterday was James' birthday so I threw him a big ol' bash at a club right by 30 Rock. It was loud, packed, and a lot of fun. Any time I get to be in the same room as Hugh Jackman I'm excited, he's so buff, beautiful, and becoming. I love that man, and we aren't that close, so Hugh if you're reading this, I love you.

Jules and I are still kickin' it (you know, the romantic way to say still very much in love) and I get to go with him and The Strokes to Europe this summer! I'm so excited, I love London and now we get to go to the Primavera festival as well! Julian is playing with The Strokes and The Voidz, he is very excited to have both of them on the same festival level (even though the Strokes are basically headlining) Here are some pics while I've been away being selfish!

Jules being Jules next to bed

Justyna before our interview that never got released

The love of my life

Nick being a cool cucumber

Hmpf!

Well well well. I've come out of hiding from blogger to deliver this message: I WIN! Not that relationships are about winning but I fucking beat Bradley at his own sad little game, winner winner chicken dinner, come and get it son.

Bradley and Suki broke up, and he said that they were destined for marriage when we broke up and that that was the best relationship he's ever had and that they would be together forever because they were in a "type of love that could last centuries".

Well. I'm currently in Ireland with Julian, playing with lambs and drinking Coke at the Cliffs of Moher sooooooo, guess we have a type of love that can at least last longer than theirs. Nana nana boo boo.

Life is going well! I'm working on a new series with Spike this summer and Julian will be coming with me to California (we will be at his mini mansion that he was at when we broke up) and it will be grand. Ireland is phenomenal, love the accents here. So far we've been to Dublin, Glendalough, Killarney, Galway, Smeen (or Sneem, we cannot sneem [haha] to remember [or smeen to rememeber], Bog Village, Blarney, Cliffs of Moher town, and many other little seaside towns that I can't remember (one was where Charlie Chaplin vacationed every summer). Jules has been driving cause God knows I can't drive.

Award's Season Dresses

Golden Globes
Badgley Mischka

S.A.G. Awards

BAFTA Film Awards

Paolo Sebastian




Grammys
Krikor Jabotian

Oscar's
The lovely and talented Zuhair Murad <3