Thank God Jules and I have a little RV to ourselves. I couldn't share a van with that child rapist Beardo.
CHRISTINA
(sitting at a table backstage she sees JULIAN head toward her covered in sweat with a smile on his face) How did the show go!
JULIAN
(shrugs) I dunno know (they hug, he kisses her quickly on the side of her head)
CHRISTINA
So what's the plan, you going out, after party? What's happening.
JULIAN
(watches BEARDO, ALEX, and AMIR pass by them and head toward the exit where a crowd is most likely to be) Well we gotta be in Vancouver tomorrow and that's like a 6 hour bus ride...so no after party.
CHRISTINA
~15 minutes of talking later~
BOUNCER
(CHRISTINA and JULIAN are talking and CHRISTINA overhears to young girl talking to the bouncer) Who's name are you under?
DEFINITELY UNDERAGE GIRLS
Beardo.
CHRISTINA
STOP! (JULIAN hadn't been listening so he was confused, she turns to JULIAN) Stay here. (she gets up and heads over to the BOUNCER and DEFINITELY UNDERAGE GIRLS) Who're you here to see?
DEFINITELY UNDERAGE GIRLS
(they recognize her instantly) Oh my god, Christina Essenelle!
CHRISTINA
(smiling she gives them a finger gun) What up! Anyways, who're you here to see?
DEFINITELY UNDERAGE GIRLS
Well, Beardo put us on a list to go back stage...
CHRISTINA
Do you wanna see Beardo backstage?
DEFINITELY UNDERAGE GIRLS
Well, we were kinda hoping we would see Julian back here...
CHRISTINA
Yeah, that's what I thought. (to BOUNCER) They're on my list now.
BOUNCER
Smart move. (the DEFINITELY UNDERAGE GIRLS look to each other excitedly and the BOUNCER lets them pass)
CHRISTINA
Yeah, Beardo has been letting a lot of young girls back stage and frankly, its just creepy.
DEFINITELY UNDERAGE GIRLS
Yeah he's definitely very...flirty. Haha.
CHRISTINA
Haha, you think? Hey Jules! (JULIAN turns around and the two DEFINITELY UNDERAGE GIRLS get even more excited and JULIAN smiles) I found them trying to get back stage on Beardo's list.
JULIAN
Oh man, how're you doing?
And after like 20 minutes of just talking they got a picture with us, our autographs, and we left a voicemail on one of their friend's phones. They were really happy that I found them and the main reason I did it is because I've, as I said previously, received a bunch of emails from girls who've been taken advantage of and wanted to make sure Julian knew and I'm much easier to get a hold of than Julian. SO, I'm looking out for you girls, and you girls look out for other girls! Make sure no girl feels pushed into something she doesn't actually want to do. Love y'all.
Anywho, Vancouver! So after that whole thing last night Julian and I got into the private RV and slept as the driver drove up to Canada. It is a little chilly, not too bad, around 45 ish degrees. Believe it or not it was actually colder in Portland! But that might have just been because it was raining. Jules and I checked out the place early this morning (9:30am) and its nice! Then we got some breakfast and watched the new episode of New Girl and drank tea/coffee. It's hard to put what exactly we did because it's not anything interesting, you know, it's not like "Then we went to Sea World and then we went to Disney Land!" it's more, and then we laid on a bed and talked while making jokes and bitching about things. That's love I guess. Speaking of love, I LOVE Buzzfeed's article on us,
1. First of all, they're adorable.
If I could see life through her eyes I would.
2. He's obsessed with her...and so are we!
There’s really nothing better than a hilarious girl killing it on TV and MOVIES.
3. They party, hard.
Reading Christina's blog is like getting drunk yourself, and we want more.
4. Even when they broke up, Julian went to her movie premiere, adorable!
Are we using adorable too much? Don't even care.
5. They were on Ellen, and were so cute I cried.
Getty Images/iStockphoto Shaiith
"We'll be in New York for at least two more years" ...YYAAAASSSSS!!
6. She makes that garbage man look chic.
Momentum Pictures
I mean, when has your garbage collector ever looked sexier??
7. He makes that crazy girl look sane.
They remind me of these two.
8. He literally chartered a jet to find her...in FRANCE.
Columbia Pictures
Only to you know, rekindle their ADORABLE LOVE OH MY GOD.
9. It means Bradley is out of the picture.
Never has the public hated Bradley Cooper more than when we found out he was abusive. No thanks!
10. More blog posts about The Strokes.
We understand and we love.
11. Christina's wardrobe.
We don't understand. But we love.
12. Julian Casablancas is back on the map.
He dropped off the face of the earth when they broke up, and the world wept.
13. Maybe Julian will beat up another guy for her.
So exciting the first 20 times...can we have another chivalrous beat down JC??
14. Groomed Jules!
Awards season is coming up and guess who is going to be Christina's plus 1...
15. Christina's happy.
That whole Bradley Cooper thing was so depressing, thank GOD JC is back!
16. Sexy new songs from Julian
"I'm gonna f&$% your face for breakfast cause I love being weird"
"I'll get in the back seat and I'm gonna eat you out"
"I'm gonna ride your ass when we're doing it from behind"
MORE!
17. They're the perfect mix of comedy and music.
More Strokes on SNL! More Essenelle on Strokes!
18. Their eclectic fashion sense has got us all jumping.
19. In general, they're perfect. And I will fight you on this.
Get married already dammit. I want the pictures now.
