CHRISTINA
(watching "He's Just Not That Into You" while skyping BRADLEY) Oh God, no lesbian girl! Am I gonna cry during this movie? I'm gonna cry during this movie aren't I?
BRADLEY
Oh it's a heart breaker. I think I'm the worst in this movie.
CHRISTINA
You always think you're the worst in everything.
BRADLEY
Oh no my character, I did a great fuckin' job in this movie.
CHRISTINA
Alright, alright, get off your high horse bitch.
BRADLEY
(laughs) I can't win with you.
CHRISTINA
I'm the worst yes I know, WHAT IS SHE DOING SHE'S GONNA BE SINGLE FOREVER.
BRADLEY
I hate this movie because of Gigi, like...what girl is like that?
CHRISTINA
I'm sure there's someone out there that acts as weird as fuck as Gigi.
BRADLEY
MORE IMPORTANTLY, what guy is gonna act like Justin Long? No one! I'm not gonna help a girl get a guy if I like her...that's just ridiculous. Plus, I wouldn't stop making out with a girl because my phone rang.
CHRISTINA
Bradley Cooper, tells it like it is.
BRADLEY
At least my character is realistic.
CHRISTINA
It's realistic to cheat and lie?
BRADLEY
Well yeah, I mean I don't personally cheat and lie but...you know.
CHRISTINA
You're digging a hole my friend.
BRADLEY
Just watch the damn movie. (CHRISTINA laughs)
~*~
CHRISTINA
(smiling) Yeah I had a good time.
RYAN
Well it's about to get crazy, just warning you.
CHRISTINA
(in reference to the ferris wheel) How can it possibly get crazier...?
RYAN
(going into his kitchen cupboard he pulls out cheese, butter, and bread) We makin' grilled cheese, honey.
CHRISTINA
(practically collapsing to the floor) Stop. I'm gonna die of love.
RYAN
(laughs) Get over here you nut.
CHRISTINA
(jumps up and stands next to RYAN, he gives her an apron) I don't think there'll be too much splash back here Ryan...
RYAN
Oh no, you're making the soup.
CHRISTINA
(stamps her foot and puts her hands on her hips as she stares at RYAN) I will orgasm on this floor, you must realize this.
RYAN
Don't ruin my floor I just cleaned it. Go get some tomatoes.
CHRISTINA
Where, from the store?
RYAN
Oh, right. (he points to a closet) They should be in there. (RYAN takes out a pan while turning on the stove. CHRISTINA goes to the closet and sees a bag of tomatoes, she grabs them and shows RYAN)
CHRISTINA
These?
RYAN
Yeah!
CHRISTINA
(brings them back to the counter) I assume you want me to dice these.
RYAN
Yeah here's a- (he grabs a knife and then looks at CHRISTINA who is eager to cut the tomatoes)...maybe I should cut the tomatoes.
CHRISTINA
(grabs the knife from RYAN) Gimme the damn knife, I'll cut you later.
RYAN
Mash 'em when you're done. (he hands her a mallet, she holds it in the air)
CHRISTINA
I AM THOR!
RYAN
(laughing he holds up his bread) I AM HUNGRY!
CHRISTINA
(she laughs) We're stupid.
