Conversations

CHRISTINA

(watching "He's Just Not That Into You" while skyping BRADLEY) Oh God, no lesbian girl! Am I gonna cry during this movie? I'm gonna cry during this movie aren't I?

BRADLEY

Oh it's a heart breaker. I think I'm the worst in this movie. 

CHRISTINA

You always think you're the worst in everything.

BRADLEY

Oh no my character, I did a great fuckin' job in this movie.

CHRISTINA

Alright, alright, get off your high horse bitch.

BRADLEY

(laughs) I can't win with you.

CHRISTINA

I'm the worst yes I know, WHAT IS SHE DOING SHE'S GONNA BE SINGLE FOREVER.

BRADLEY

I hate this movie because of Gigi, like...what girl is like that?

CHRISTINA

I'm sure there's someone out there that acts as weird as fuck as Gigi.

BRADLEY

MORE IMPORTANTLY, what guy is gonna act like Justin Long? No one! I'm not gonna help a girl get a guy if I like her...that's just ridiculous. Plus, I wouldn't stop making out with a girl because my phone rang.

CHRISTINA

Bradley Cooper, tells it like it is.

BRADLEY

At least my character is realistic.

CHRISTINA

It's realistic to cheat and lie?

BRADLEY

Well yeah, I mean I don't personally cheat and lie but...you know.

CHRISTINA

You're digging a hole my friend.

BRADLEY

Just watch the damn movie. (CHRISTINA laughs)

~*~

CHRISTINA

(smiling) Yeah I had a good time.

RYAN

Well it's about to get crazy, just warning you. 

CHRISTINA

(in reference to the ferris wheel) How can it possibly get crazier...? 

RYAN

(going into his kitchen cupboard he pulls out cheese, butter, and bread) We makin' grilled cheese, honey. 

CHRISTINA

(practically collapsing to the floor) Stop. I'm gonna die of love.

RYAN

(laughs) Get over here you nut.

CHRISTINA

(jumps up and stands next to RYAN, he gives her an apron) I don't think there'll be too much splash back here Ryan...

RYAN

Oh no, you're making the soup.

CHRISTINA

(stamps her foot and puts her hands on her hips as she stares at RYAN) I will orgasm on this floor, you must realize this.

RYAN

Don't ruin my floor I just cleaned it. Go get some tomatoes. 

CHRISTINA

Where, from the store? 

RYAN

Oh, right. (he points to a closet) They should be in there. (RYAN takes out a pan while turning on the stove. CHRISTINA goes to the closet and sees a bag of tomatoes, she grabs them and shows RYAN)

CHRISTINA

These?

RYAN

Yeah!

CHRISTINA

(brings them back to the counter) I assume you want me to dice these.

RYAN

Yeah here's a- (he grabs a knife and then looks at CHRISTINA who is eager to cut the tomatoes)...maybe I should cut the tomatoes.

CHRISTINA

(grabs the knife from RYAN) Gimme the damn knife, I'll cut you later. 

RYAN

Mash 'em when you're done. (he hands her a mallet, she holds it in the air)

CHRISTINA

I AM THOR!

RYAN

(laughing he holds up his bread) I AM HUNGRY!

CHRISTINA

(she laughs) We're stupid. 

All Situated

Currently listening to Counting Stars by OneRepublic. Dat's my JAM. That and The Place Beyond the Pines soundtrack, my second jam. I miss summer, but man do I feel more at home in New York. Probably because it is my home. Just gotta get Bradley and Jen back here! They're going all around the world right now promoting their movies and what not. Hopefully they'll promote in New York soon...till then I have Ryan Gosling. 

Christina say what! Ryan Gosling? That's a cool friendship.

It is cool black font! Very cool, wanna know something more cool? We're doing a movie together! SAY WHAT? SAY YES! Directed by, you guessed it, Chris Nolan! That's all I can say for now, oh and that it doesn't have a title. But a script does exist, and I think we start filming in like...January or February. So, no time soon. 

I've been incredibly busy these past few days doing homework for college, writing sketches, practicing characters, and doing UCB. I still keep in touch with Bradley over Skype but Jen is really busy with Catching Fire stuff, ah well. I'm sure I'll see her soon. Btw Jen if you're reading this I MISS YOU.

Anyways, better go work out, too much spaghetti today.

Hehe. Night!

AND NOBODY TOLD ME?!

YOU GUYS...I'm nominated for an Emmy!! A freakin' Emmy! THIS IS UNREAL. SNL got nominated for 7 EMMYS. Like...that's an obscene amount of Emmys. Apparently Lorne knew about the Emmy nomination but decided to wait until I got to New York to tell me in person. Looks like I'm coming back to California after all. Emmy's will be held on September 22nd across the street from Kimmel so you bet your ass you'll see me there!

AH!
SNL
Friends nominations 

OUTSTANDING DRAMA
Breaking Bad
Downton Abbey
Game of Thrones
Homeland (2012 WINNER)
House of Cards
Mad Men

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA
Connie Britton, Nashville
Claire Danes, Homeland (2012 WINNER)
Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey
Vera Farmiga, Bates Motel
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
Kerry Washington, Scandal
Robin Wright, House of Cards

OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A DRAMA
Hugh Bonneville, Downton Abbey
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Damian Lewis, Homeland (2012 WINNER)
Kevin Spacey, House of Cards

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA
Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey (2012 WINNER)
Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones
Christine Baranski, The Good Wife
Morena Baccarin, Homeland
Christina Hendricks, Mad Men

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA
Bobby Cannavale, Boardwalk Empire
Jonathan Banks, Breaking Bad
Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad (2012 WINNER)
Jim Carter, Downton Abbey
Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Mandy Patinkin, Homeland

OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA
Margo Martindale, The Americans
Diana Rigg, Game of Thrones
Carrie Preston, The Good Wife
Linda Cardellini, Mad Men
Jane Fonda, The Newsroom
Joan Cusack, Shameless

OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA
Nathan Lane, The Good Wife
Michael J. Fox, The Good Wife
Rupert Friend, Homeland
Robert Morse, Mad Men
Harry Hamlin, Mad Men
Dan Bucatinsky, Scandal

OUTSTANDING COMEDY
30 Rock
The Big Bang Theory
Girls
Louie
Modern Family (2012 WINNER)
Veep

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY
Laura Dern, Enlightened
Lena Dunham, Girls
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep (2012 WINNER)
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A COMEDY
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Jason Bateman, Arrested Development
Louis CK, Louie
Don Cheadle, House of Lies
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY
Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory
Jane Lynch, Glee
Julie Bowen, Modern Family (2012 WINNER)
Merritt Wever, Nurse Jackie
Christina Essenelle, Saturday Night Live
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Anna Chlumsky, Veep

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY
Adam Driver, Girls
Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family
Ed O’Neill, Modern Family
Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Bill Hader, Saturday Night Live
Tony Hale, Veep

OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY
Molly Shannon, Enlightened
Dot-Marie Jones, Glee
Melissa Leo, Louie
Melissa McCarthy, Saturday Night Live
Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live
Elaine Stritch, 30 Rock

OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY
Bob Newhart, The Big Bang Theory
Nathan Lane, Modern Family
Bobby Cannavale, Nurse Jackie
Louis CK, Saturday Night Live
Justin Timberlake, Saturday Night Live
Will Forte, 30 Rock

OUTSTANDING REALITY SHOW HOST
Ryan Seacrest, American Idol
Betty White, Betty White’s Off Their Rockers
Tom Bergeron, Dancing With the Stars (2012 WINNER)
Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn, Project Runway
Cat Deeley, So You Think You Can Dance
Anthony Bourdain, The Taste

OUTSTANDING REALITY SHOW COMPETITION
The Amazing Race (2012 WINNER)
Dancing With the Stars
Project Runway
So You Think You Can Dance
Top Chef
The Voice

OUTSTANDING VARIETY, MUSIC, OR COMEDY SERIES
The Colbert Report
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart (2012 WINNER)
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
Real Time With Bill Maher
Saturday Night Live

OUTSTANDING TV MINISERIES OR MOVIE
American Horror Story: Asylum
Behind the Candelabra
The Bible
Phil Spector
Political Animals
Top of the Lake

LEAD ACTRESS IN A TV MINISERIES OR MOVIEJessica Lange, American Horror Story: Asylum (2012 WINNER in Supporting category)
Laura Linney, The Big C: hereafter
Helen Mirren, Phil Spector
Sigourney Weaver, Political Animals
Elisabeth Moss, Top of the Lake

LEAD ACTOR IN A TV MINISERIES OR MOVIE
Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra
Matt Damon, Behind the Candelabra
Toby Jones, The Girl
Benedict Cumberbatch, Parade’s End
Al Pacino, Phil Spector

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A TV MINISERIES OR MOVIESarah Paulson, American Horror Story: Asylum
Imelda Staunton, The Girl
Ellen Burstyn, Political Animals
Charlotte Rampling, Restless
Alfre Woodard, Steel Magnolias

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A TV MINISERIES OR MOVIEJames Cromwell, American Horror Story: Asylum
Zachary Quinto, American Horror Story: Asylum
Scott Bakula, Behind The Candelabra
John Benjamin Hickey, The Big C: hereafter
Peter Mullan, Top of the Lake

Jen Lawrence is 23!

Happy Birthday Jen! Since I leave tomorrow the party mansion is pretty empty so we'll be going out tonight to celebrate. I leave tomorrow but I'm renting the house for all of August so Bradley will be here for all of August and Jen will be here till the middle of it. Poor Bradley will be in the party mansion alone.

I had a terrible run-in the other night while I was hanging out with Jimmy, caused me a sleepover and a limo ride I did not want to take. Ah well, at least I wasn't shot again. Before that Jimmy and I filmed a segment for his show where parents ask Jimmy Kimmel and myself to baby sit their kids for two hours while a camera crew films it. It's gonna be great, we had three girls who were all under the age of 6 and Jimmy and I learned how to dance based off a Barbie movie and we drew pictures and played dress-up games.

My house looks so creepisly empty! I'm all packed up except for my alarm clock, make-up, a mug, and a few clothes. Everything else is gone! Furniture came with the house so we're all good on that front. Yesterday Trevor, Jen, and I went to the Griffith Observatory! We saw a cool show and looked around but man, Trevor makes me laugh harder than anyone else. I consider him a brother to me cause first off, we kind of look alike, second off we're very similar in terms of EVERYTHING. It's disturbing, we made a pact that if we're both single when we're 40 we'll get married and reap the benefits of marriage.

Afterwards we got in-n-out and played video games at Trevor's. I got home at 9 though because after the whole Jimmy accident I didn't want to be out late at night. I've decided that I'm not going to make any additions to my room in NYC. It's a great room as it is and if I really wanted to I could move out but...I consider that place home! And I can't wait till I get back to it. 3 months away was nice though, hanging out with:

Bam Margera
April Margera
Phil Margera
Johnny Knoxville
Wee-Man
Steve-O
Vanessa Bayer
Jason Sudeikis
Kristen Wiig
Fred Armisen
Nasim Pedrad
Seth Meyers
Tyson Ritter
Jimmy Kimmel
Robert Downey Jr.,
Ehren McGhehey
Ben Affleck
Jennifer Garner
Joann Kimmel
Ellen Degeneres
Portia de Rossi
Jennifer Lawrence
Leo DiCaprio
Drew Barrymore
Ryan Gosling
Emma Stone
Conan O'Brein
Craig Robinson
Vince Vaugn
Owen Wilson
Ellie Kemper
Bradley Cooper
Jason Segal
Paul Rudd
Ed Helms
Trevor Moore
Zach Creggar
Timmy Williams
Sam Brown
Darren Trumeter
Jim Biederman
Bobby Moynihan
Amy Poehler
Tina Fey
Chris Parnell
Jimmy Fallon
Olivia Wilde
Carrie Brownstein
Bill Hader
Jay Pharoah
Kenan Thompson
Lorne Michaels
Maya Rudolph
Taran Killam
Will Forte
Liza Powell
Nick Wheeler
Mike Kennerty
Chris Gaylor
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Kate McKinnon
Aidy Bryant
Jack McBrayer
Andy Richter
Cecily Strong
Matt Damon
Tim Robinson
Anne Hathaway
Justin Timberlake
Noel Fielding
Julian Barrett
Andrew Garfield
Rich Fulcher
Javier Bardem
Rich Ayoade
Cillian Murphy
Chris O'Dowd
Russel Brand
Katherine Parkinson
Graham Lineham
Steve Higgins
Dave Brown
Mike Fielding
Zach Galifianakis
Matt Berry
Paul King
Chris Pontius
Christoph Waltz
Chris Nolan
Ben Haggerty
Mark Wahlberg
Chelsea Handler
Drew Carey

was fun this summer. I know I'll see them in New York at some point or another. It was fun watching:

Iron Man 3
Stoker
Place Beyond the Pines
Monster University
Star Trek
Bruno
It's Complicated
Wet Hot American Summer
Hangover 3
2 Guns
Elysium
Despicable Me 2
The Departed
This is the End
This Means War
Jack the Giant Slayer
Man of Steel
The Words
The Great Gatsby

this summer. I know I'll miss cool California things like:

In-N-Out
Diddy Riese
The Griffith Observatory
The L.A. Zoo
The Hollywood Walk of Fame
Graumen's Chinese Theater
the beach
The Grove
The Santa Monica Pier
The Venice Beach Boardwalk
my house in the hills
good mexican food
The Comedy and Magic Club
The Hollywood Sign

once I go back. But I'll be okay.

Toast-Eggs-Bacon

After the Kimmel show Nasim and I got sushi (Ryan had to go home) and then I dropped Nasim off at my place (she was exhausted) and I went back to Jimmy's. He has the new WiiU! It's pretty awesome, graphics 
are great but I just hope I can get used to that new controller. It's pretty cool nonetheless-I recommend 
getting it when prices drop cause it's like $400 at the moment. I slept over at Jimmy's because driving drunk 
is illegal and got home sober at 6am. That day Nasim and I headed up to the Santa Monica 
pier/promenade/beach and hung out! I stupidly forgot my wallet though and so we only stayed for a few 
hours. We still we caught some rays and bought some clothes, and it wasn't even that hot! Once we got home we went to the Del Amo mall to get all of our shopping done, then got cookies and ice cream at the world famous cookie place called Diddy Riese in Westwood. I'm getting a lot of driving done! We finally got home at 11:30PM and went to bed, another wonderful day of tanning and shopping-is this the life or what? I love California!

That was Thursday night/Friday. Saturday was a pretty chill day, Nasim and I got our nails done (red gelled nails and sea foam green toes) and then went back to my house and tanned by the pool. Jen was outside by the chairs while Nasim and I laid on the hot concrete around the pool. At around 7:30 we went to this awesome secret little massage place (and it's my secret so NO you cannot know) and got an hour long massage, then we got McFlurries and went back home. It was a chillllll day.

Sunday! Sunday Nasim and I asked Jimmy Kimmel to be our tour guide for a couple of hours. He has offered this to me before since he knows so much about L.A. and where celebrities live and historical facts and what not...so Jimmy gave us a tour of Hollywood and we got some cool pics, the whole trip was very funny since we had Jimmy at the helm. Afterwards we all went back to Jimmy's to have some of his brick-oven pizza--so good. Jimmy knows how to make a good pizza! According to Jimmy "every fat guy knows how to make good pizza" which must be true since mine was top notch-bacon-blasted pizza. Oh a funny conversation happened between Bradley and I that I thought was just so ridiculous that I had to share:

BRADLEY

If you had your choice in guy like doesn't matter who it is, they can be married and whatever, who would you choose?

CHRISTINA

Can they be dead?

BRADLEY

What? No.

CHRISTINA

Well you say yours first otherwise I'll look like a hoe.

BRADLEY

Oh my God, ok. Hmm.

CHRISTINA

I know I'm trying to think of one too...

BRADLEY

And we can't choose each other.

CHRISTINA

Awww. I was hoping you'd say someone like really famous and I'd say you and make you feel like such a shit.

BRADLEY

Thanks for being a bitch.

CHRISTINA

Thanks for almost being a bitch.

BRADLEY

Ha ha, right.

CHRISTINA

Okay go.

BRADLEY

It would probably be someone like Penelope Cruz or Olivia Wilde.

CHRISTINA

Really? I'll tell Jason (Sudeikis) to watch out.

BRADLEY

Ha ha, alright your turn.

CHRISTINA

I really don't know. This is for marriage right? Or just sex?

BRADLEY

I was basing it for marriage-like looks and personality.

CHRISTINA

Yeah yeah...hmm.

BRADLEY

What about your boy Ryan?

CHRISTINA

Gosling?

BRADLEY

Yeah. You did watch his movie the other day.

CHRISTINA

You must realize you were also in Place Beyond the Pines, like, you couldn't have forgotten.

BRADLEY

Well yeah but he's the main guy.

CHRISTINA

{SPOILER ALERT} He dies within like the first 45 minutes of the movie!

BRADLEY

His name is still listed first, besides when people think of the movie they think of "heartthrob" Ryan Gosling. 

CHRISTINA

You're fucking crazy, you two are on the same level of attractiveness.

BRADLEY

Are you nuts? Now you're being crazy.

CHRISTINA

Any girl would have your babies right now.

BRADLEY

If they had the choice they'd choose Ryan.

CHRISTINA

Did you forget to take your Midol? My God, I'm not going to sit here and tell you you are attractive, I mean you won sexiest man of the year.

BRADLEY

That was a fluke.

CHRISTINA

I can't handle this nonsense.

BRADLEY

Who would you be with?

CHRISTINA

Ugh, I guess I'd be with Ryan.

BRADLEY

See!

CHRISTINA

First of all, I can't choose you now can I? Second of all, I can't think of anyone else.

BRADLEY

Well he's single, you're single, why don't you go ahead and be with him?

CHRISTINA

He doesn't like me like that, and so I don't see him that way.

BRADLEY

You honestly think that guy wouldn't want to get with you?

CHRISTINA

Bradley, the last girl he was with was Eva Mendes.

BRADLEY

So?

CHRISTINA

SO, she's drop dead gorgeous and has a sweet voice. I've got the voice of a skater kid who just smoked a pack of cigarettes.

BRADLEY

Ha ha! How wrong you are.

CHRISTINA

Ha ha, ok.

Then Sunday night Jimmy, Nasim, and myself went down to Hermosa Beach (Jimmy lives in Manhattan Beach) and went to the Comedy and Magic club to go check out some new comics. It was a lot of fun, my personal favorite was Helen Hong (I have no idea if that's how you spell her name) but she was amazing, I'm usually not a fan of someone who makes a career off of ethnic jokes just because they're easy and cheap but she was hilarious. Maybe it's just because most of the ethnic comedians are Hispanic and an asian one is pretty unheard of but...I liked her a lot. Especially because she looks so shy and sweet and the first thing she said for her set was "What's up bitches?!". Great show nonetheless. Afterwards Jimmy went home and Nasim and I went back and watched the new episode of Breaking Bad. I WON'T RUIN ANYTHING BUT YOU SHOULD REALLY BE WATCHING BREAKING BAD. 

Really. You should.

Then today IHS twice, and went to the Chelsea Lately taping! It was so freakin hot, I'm glad I was in the studio for most of my time at universal studios. I was on her panel of comedians for her little circle bit, and then she interviewed Lily Collins from some movie, if I could remember the title I'd say it but I really can't remember. And apparently those movies could turn into a 6 part movie deal so....I hope it's good. Being on the panel was a lot of fun, Michael Yo is so funny. He's pretty hip, I gotta say. Like...I thought I dressed nicely but he just takes the cake. I got in a few good jokes here and there but I felt very rookie-ish compared to the other three people at the table. And the shot before the show certainly helped my nerves but not the fact that I said "pussy" on television. Oops!

Afterwards Nasim and I headed up to CityWalk and watched 2 Guns, yay for my musical partner Mark Wahlberg! By the way, if you haven't checked out You Spin my Head Right Round-Marky Mark n' Essenelle then you are off the GAME DAWG. It's got a couple million views so...no biggie...you're just not following the crowd. Ya'll a bunch of hipsters.

Night sweetpeas.

Well!

I certainly hope so! And yay for Jen and Bradley!

Movies that could get an Oscar-Nomination in 2014...

by S-Brungs created 4 months ago | last updated - 1 month ago

17. Nightwing  (2013)

-/10 

After Batman leaves Gotham, John Blake takes up his perch as Gotham’s new hero: Nightwing. With the city’s underbelly under the command of the Court of Owls, Nightwing will need more than just his strength to beat them.   

Director: Christopher Nolan

Stars: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Christina Essenelle, Javier Bardem, Gary Oldman

Add to Watchlist

18. Saving Mr. Banks (2013)

  -/10 

Author P. L. Travers reflects on her difficult childhood while meeting with filmmaker Walt Disney during production for the adaptation of her eponymous novel.

Director: John Lee Hancock

Stars: Emma Thompson, Tom Hanks, Ruth Wilson, Colin Farrell

Add to Watchlist

19. Serena (2013)

  -/10 

In Depression-era North Carolina, the future of George Pemberton's timber empire becomes complicated when it is learned that his wife, Serena, cannot bear children.

Director: Susanne Bier

Stars: Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper, Rhys Ifans, Toby Jones

Add to Watchlist

2Kewl4Skool

Jimmy K is the BOMBDIGGITIEST. He get's jimmykimmeler ever second.

JIMMY

Ladies and gentlemen my next guest is the star of Saturday Night Live and has been called the Chris Farley of this generation, please welcome the very lovely and talented: Christina Essenelle! 

CHRISTINA

(CHRISTINA walks out wearing sunglasses and looks very blase, over-dramatically she walks to her chair and is very snobbishly looking at the audience while chewing gum. She turns dramatically to JIMMY, in a young, tired voice) What?

JIMMY

(laughs) I see you brought your entourage. (the camera pans over to the audience where NASIM PEDRAD and RYAN GOSLING and sitting. NASIM is waving excitedly and RYAN is on his knees with his hand out, like a beggar) 

CHRISTINA

(to RYAN) Oh my God, you are so annoying. (reaches into her pocketbook and takes out a piece of chocolate and throws it at RYAN) Here take it. (he catches it in his mouth and she flips her hair while the audience cheers, laughs, and applauds. JIMMY is laughing very hard and CHRISTINA breaks character slightly and turns to JIMMY and laughs while saying) Gosh.

JIMMY

You know these people don't know you like I know you. They're probably thinking "Oh God what am I in for?".

CHRISTINA

(laughing, now back to normal, sunglasses off. She turns to the audience) Welcome to hell!

JIMMY

(laughs) So what are you here promoting?

CHRISTINA

(looks at him seriously and then smiles a crooked smile) You know I got nothing for you.

JIMMY

(he and the audience laugh) Nothing!?

CHRISTINA

Wait a second I'm gonna backtrack here, people call me the Chris Farley of this generation?

JIMMY

Apparently!

CHRISTINA

Oh come on...I don't do that much coke. 

JIMMY

(laughing with the audience) Not yet. 

CHRISTINA

Oh I know what I'm promoting!

JIMMY

Oh?

CHRISTINA

This is my last week in L.A.!

JIMMY

Oh no, well did you have fun? Not hanging out with me and all?

CHRISTINA

(the audience "awws" sadly) Don't awe at him! You're the busy one, I've invited you to all my parties.

JIMMY

You have?

CHRISTINA

Well I haven't had any parties so...yes I have. (the audience laughs) Quit smearing the good Essenelle name!

JIMMY

Yes, I would hate to defame the Essenelle family lineage.

CHRISTINA

(laughs) That's my job! And if all goes as planned as the Chris Farley of this generation, I've only got a few years left. 

JIMMY

(everyone laughs) So last week in L.A., I remember your first week here in L.A. you were on the show!

CHRISTINA

You're the only consistent thing I've had this summer Jimmy.

JIMMY

(laughing) I don't know if you should say that you've consistently had Jimmy all summer.

CHRISTINA

(she and the audience laugh) Oh God, I love that this interview has just been completely nothing and I brought Ryan Gosling here, someone who probably has something to talk about, and he's here as a 10 second joke that I thought of earlier this morning.

JIMMY

We would've bumped you for someone like Ryan Gosling!

CHRISTINA

Jimmy you would've bumped me? But I've had you all summer!

JIMMY

(the audience laughs and he pushes CHRISTINA's faces back) Ladies and gentlemen, Christina Essenelle!(smiling and laughing she waves to the crowd as they cheer into the commercial break, JIMMY whispers into her ear) You free after the show? I'm thinking drinks at my place.

CHRISTINA

Hell yeah!

JIMMY

I was this close to making a fat joke tonight about you by the way.(the lights come back on and CHRISTINA and JIMMY stand up to take a picture for the show)

CHRISTINA

Oh cause I'm Chris Farley?

JIMMY

Ha ha, yeah! (they smile for a picture and CHRISTINA pulls JIMMY offstage with her)