Got my boy Johnny Knoxville IN THE HOUUUUSEEE! I've been crafting and wrapping like a motherfucker all day and I just wanted to hang out with Johnny to chill and relax. Then after that I think I'm going to hang out with Nasim, Vanessa, and Amy but I'm not sure.
I love hanging out with the Jackass crew. I don't know what they are all filming but they're filming something. After Ryan Dunn died I really didn't think Jackass would present anything else, but I guess once Bad Grandpa came out it was green light to everything else. So of course they're in New York, where no one wants to deal with any pranks and bitterness lies in everyone's soul. A lot of the Jackass boys are on clearance for 30 Rock to enter (everyone who lives in 30 Rock has a list of people that can come and go as they please [only to the floor where the 30 Rockian resides however]) So ALL Jackass boys come to 30 Rock and are stopped by the front desk (Bam Margera, Johnny Knoxville, Wee-Man, Chris Pontius, Steve-O, Dave England, Ehren McGhehey, Preston Lacy, Spike Jonze, Jeff Tremaine, and Rick Kosick), however I only have security passes for Johnny, Bam, and Chris so those three idiots went up to the SNL stage where I was practicing with Justin Timberlake and those 3 walk in laughing like hyenas at a mock serious part in JT and my bit and I swear I coulda punched them. Once the song was finished I yelled "Fuck you guys!" and jumped off the stage and punched them all.
JOHNNY
I'm sorry, I lost it at the come over here part.
BAM
(giving CHRISTINA a hug) Oh come on you know we love you.
CHRISTINA
(grumbles) Yeah, yeah.
JOHNNY
Come on, all the boys are down stairs.
CHRISTINA
What! Why?
CHRIS
(laughs maniacally) You'll see.
CHRISTINA
(turns to director) Don, am I done for today?
DON
Yeah, just remember the Christmas Party is tonight!
CHRISTINA
I know, see you then!
DON
Don't break any bones or have any cuts please!
BAM
Can't promise anything.
DON
Christina!
CHRISTINA
I'LL BE FINE! BYE!
So we went downstairs and I got to meet the other Jackasses, who looked so disheveled and tired, and we all went into two vans and went to a warehouse. At this point I was mashed in between Bam and Ehren, and Ehren who kept asking me if he had a good enough "terrorist accent" to be a featured player on SNL. For those who don't know, Ehren has one of his two front teeth missing so it's no easy to look at him in the face. I guess the other guys have gotten used to it, I, however, was quite terrified. Arm-in-arm with Bam I whispered in his eye "what the fuck happened to his teeth", and he laughed loudly and whispered "rape" in my ear. Ha ha, lord.
So this warehouse, which I think is in New Jersey because we drove for a long time, was filled with gifts. Like an abnormal amount of gifts, there must have been like 3000 gifts or something. And the reason why I was brought in was because this summer when I was with the Magera's for a week I wrapped some presents for Don Vito's birthday with April (Bam's mom) and Bam remembered that and now I'm literally wrapping like a madwoman for homeless kids to have presents this Christmas. So, to the kids who receive my awesome wrapping jobs, you're welcome, and merry Christmas.
During this, of course, is just a mess of pranks and hurting people. Steve-O and Chris tape wee-man to a chair and run him through the warehouse and smash him into a wall, Ehren walks on two tubes of wrapping paper (so that he looks like he's on stilts) and falls onto Jeff...I mean these guys are just nuts.
After that I have to head back to 30 Rock to get ready for the Christmas party, which is basically just setting up the bar and tables because we have a whole crew for decorating. After 3 hours of them putting everything up it looked amazing. Everyone in the world (practically) was there, not a lot of my friends though, a lot of NBC people rather. No All-American Rejects or Whitest Kids, but all of the upper level shows in 30 Rock so I'm pumped either way. It was a lot of fun, Chris Pontius showed us party boy and everyone loved it, we had food catered from Panera Bread and omg am I stuffed! I decided to call it a night around 1AM after the scavenger hunt. Johnny, Chris, Bam, Wee-man, and Steve-O all tried to sleep with me in my bed but I crawled out and slept on the couch until 2AM when Bradley came in and kicked them all off the bed. T'was a good night indeed.
