A Day in the Life

-Woke up this morning at 9AM and headed out to go get some work done
-12:30PM get lunch with Christoph
-1:30PM get more work done
-4:00PM head back to 30 Rock and introduce Christoph to the more disturbing and American show ever: Bad Girls Club
-6PM Get crepes with Christoph
-GET CAUGHT IN THIS RIDICULOUS RAIN
-6:45PM Watch American idol and drink wine with Christoph
-8PM Chill in my room alone/take a shower
-Listen to all the songs youtube has to offer me

-Rock dat blogger.

It's safe to say that Tuesdays and Thursdays are lazy days for me. This is my definition of a lazy day by the way.

Turning Tables

I decided to go out on the town today, glammed up, all fabulous and what not, and who did I run into but the recently born-again Essenelle fan Christoph Waltz! Today I got a call from my publicist/assistant and apparently he retracted his statement after talking to Jay Pharoah and Nasim Pedrad. Hmm, so funny that I would find him at this classy bar on a Tuesday night. Now I don't normally drink on weekdays but since Melissa McCarthy is hosting this week and they've been bleeding my dry via scene work because I've finished filming the movie I was quiet tired, and wanted to go have some fun. Little did I know that Mr. Waltz would be at the bar I went to and sitting next to me. Here's what happened:

A little note first, I speak German, English, French and a little bit of Chinese. Primarily English, a lot of French, a little of German, and about 20 words of Chinese. Growing up I learned an obscene amount of things purely out of boredom, I didn't have many friends and didn't have any electronics or what not so I spent a lot of time at the library. Yes I know how to play piano and violin, I can tap, salsa, and swing dance among many other things. I'm not bragging I'm just saying, I'M NOT SOME STUPID KID as Christoph so nicely put it a week ago.

BARTENDER

(CHRISTINA walks into the bar wearing a long grey dress and sits at the bar, she puts her pocketbook on the bar and texts on her phone for a second. She notices a pair of eyes from one seat over to her left, she continues to look at her phone assuming it's a fan) Can I get you anything Miss Essenelle?

CHRISTINA

(looks up from her phone) Um, yeah can I get a shot of Ketel One?

MAN NEXT TO CHRISTINA

Make that two.

CHRISTINA

 (she turns to see who is next to her, it is CHRISTOPH WALTZ recent frienemy. He is wearing a light blue button down shirt with a light brown sweater over it, on top of that is a darker brown blazer, he is also wearing tan pants) Well well well, if it isn't the devil incarnate. 

CHRISTOPH

(laughs) Very nice to see you as well. I see you haven't heard what I've done recently.

CHRISTINA

Oh taking back what you said? I did hear about that, and that Nasim and Jay told you everything you needed to know about me.

CHRISTOPH

I don't know about everything, est-ce que c'est vrai que vous parlez francaise et allemagne?

 CHRISTINA

Mais oui, est-ce que Nasim l'a dit?

CHRISTOPH

Ouais, elle ne sais pas que vous parlez allemagne aussi.

CHRISTINA

Il y a beaucoup d'information qu'elle ne sais pas de moi. 

CHRISTOPH

Est-ce que vous etes un personne prive?

CHRISTINA

Premiere, pourquoi est-ce que tu utilises vouvoyer? Nous sommes amis!

CHRISTOPH

Vraiment? J'ai trouve c'est difficile pour comprendre.

CHRISTINA

C'est vrai, je t'aime par un ami, et je suis desolee aussi pour le lecture que j'ai ecrit hier soir de toi. 

CHRISTOPH

Yes apparently you abhor my piano playing.

CHRISTINA

I don't abhor it, I abhorred you.

BARTENDER

Here you are. Do you-(he places the two shot glasses on the counter, and just as he is about to ask who is paying for the drinks CHRISTOPH waves his hand in the air and points to himself, saying to place the two shots on his tab)

CHRISTINA

Buying a lady drinks? Du machst mich so glucklich. 

CHRISTOPH

(he laughs) So are we taking these drinks now?

CHRISTINA

Yeah quit pussyfooting your shot.

CHRISTOPH

Pussyfooting!

CHRISTINA

I've seen your movies.

CHRISTOPH 

Django was a good film. 

CHRISTINA

I've actually seen a lot of your films, not to see you but just as a way to hang out. I think my favorite is Water for Elephants.

CHRISTOPH

(with a smirk)I feel bad, I haven't seen any of your films. 

CHRISTINA

It'll be out before you know it. 

CHRISTOPH

Well maybe I'll see you at the premiere, when is it?

CHRISTINA

Probably next winter. Not sure, but till then (she holds up her shot glass) il faut etre ivre. 

CHRISTOPH

(holding up his shot glass with a smile) Till then! (they both down their shots and get right back to talking)

~We talk about my hospital visits during filming and about Julian in California and about what he likes to do and how we both ended up here on a Tuesday. After a while we got up and went to 30 Rock and went to the Late Night set to go drink,continue our conversation, and dance~

STEVE HIGGINS
(after watching CHRISTOPH and CHRISTINA dance "el tango de roxanne" he claps) That was fantastic! What are you practicing for?
CHRISTINA
(after exchanging confused looks CHRISTINA speaks) We were just messing around.
CHRISTOPH
A little Tuesday night fun!
STEVE
Oh come on, that was definitely a rehearsal. You two scheming something?
CHRISTOPH
Scheming? Oh no.
STEVE
Wouldn't be too uncharacteristic of you Miss Essenelle. 
CHRISTINA
(dramatically) Oh Steve you embarrass me!
STEVE
(he laughs and SETH MEYERS walks in a huff) Oh hey you just missed it. 
CHRISTINA
(with a bit of a drunken slur) Hey Seth!
SETH
(confused) Yeah hey...what's going on why are you two in here?
CHRISTOPH
We were just messing around, I am sorry Seth.
SETH
(quickly gets down to the stage and sees the bottle of bourbon on JIMMY's desk) You two drinking in here?
CHRISTINA
(holds up a hand knowing what he's about to say) I know I-
SETH
(grabs her hand) You're drunk I'm taking you back to our floor.
CHRISTINA
(pulling away) Ow, stop! I'm not a little kid you know.
SETH
Then don't act like one.
CHRISTOPH
Look hey this way my idea, I wanted to see the set because I'd never seen it, she said no...I insisted...and here we are. It was my idea.
SETH
(still holding onto CHRISTINA's arm, he jolts it up) Is this true?
CHRISTINA
(giving a conflicted look to CHRISTOPH, he nods) Yeah it's true.
CHRISTOPH
(moving forward he takes CHRISTINA's arm while SETH grips it) I can take her back, I feel bad. 
SETH
(looking suspiciously at CHRISTOPH he lets CHRISTINA go) Goodnight. 

~Christoph and I leave quickly and head out to Magnolia and then Times Square. Great night~ 

Friendly Foe

As I posted before, Christoph Waltz was playing piano as I was on my computer and after I wrote that post I headed to my room for a second and when I returned he was still playing. So I returned to my computer and just as he got to the quiet part of the song he says to me:

CHRISTOPH

I'm surprised you recognized the song.

CHRISTINA

I know, how could an ignorant child like me understand anything?

CHRISTOPH

Ah, I see you heard the interview. 

CHRISTINA

I wurde Ihrer kranken Worten erzählt.

CHRISTOPH

Sprechen Sie Deutsch?

CHRISTINA

Ja, ein wenig.

CHRISTOPH 

Wo hast du gelernt?
CHRISTINA
Außerhalb.
CHRISTOPH
Wo draußen?
CHRISTINA
New York City hat die Deutschen zu, wissen Sie. Ich weiß, wie dieses Lied zu spielen.
CHRISTOPH
Es ist ein Lied, das ich als Kind gelernt, nicht sehr schwierig.
CHRISTINA
Ich weiß. Möchten Sie etwas schwieriger zu hören?
CHRISTOPH
Es ist Ihr Klavier.
CHRISTINA
(getting up from the chair she leaves her laptop and goes to the piano and begins to play) Ich nehme an, Sie haben von Beethoven gehört?
CHRISTOPH
Ja. Moonlight Sonata, sehr schön. Sie spielen schön, wo hast du gelernt?
CHRISTINA
Verlassene Kirche. Ich hatte eine Menge freie Zeit aufwachsen.
CHRISTOPH
So höre ich.
CHRISTINA
Du weißt, ich hatte eine Menge Spaß bei der Arbeit mit Ihnen auf SNL, und für Sie voran gehen und sagen, dass solche negativen Dinge auf mich war sehr unprofessionell.
CHRISTOPH
Ich glaube nicht an eine Beziehung zwischen dem Publikum und den Schauspielern zu glauben.
CHRISTINA
Du hättest etwas zu mir gesagt, anstatt zu sagen wie verletzende Dinge, ich bin nicht der, für den Sie mich halten.
CHRISTOPH
Viel mehr kultiviert. Es tut mir leid Schatz.
CHRISTINA
Ich bin nicht dein Liebling.
CHRISTOPH
Wie kann ich meinen Kommentar zu Ihnen
CHRISTINA
Hören. (CHRISTINA begins the third movement which is obscenely fast and one of the most difficult pieces to play on piano)
CHRISTOPH
Wunderbar...
CHRISTINA
Shush, das ist schwer. (CHRISTOPH doesn't speak for the rest of the song and once on the last few notes CHRISTINA looks at him with bored eyes as she finishes the movement. Once she plays the last chord she turns to him and he is applauding her)
CHRISTOPH
Wirklich erstaunlich, ich bin-
CHRISTINA
Englisch, bitte.
CHRISTOPH
Well Ms. Essenelle that was quite wonderful. 
CHRISTINA
Maybe next time you can have a conversation with me instead of judging me. 
CHRISTOPH
I realize this now, will you forgive me
CHRISTINA
No.
CHRISTOPH
What can I do to gain your forgiveness, I do not want this dissonance between us.
CHRISTINA
You'll figure something out. (she goes to her laptop and heads back to her room leaving CHRISTOPH by the piano)

I realize that this might not translate well but to my German audience...hello! Basically I said that I had a nice time with him on SNL and it was unprofessional of him to discredit our work and his performance. We also talked about how I learned to play piano in a church and how I learned German in school along with French out of boredom. Well I must leave now to go memorize some lines but I'll talk to ya'll later. 

Auf Wiedersehen! 

Mr. Waltz and Mr. Lanz

I'm sitting in the main room of SNL's floor and I'm just roaming on the internet when I heard Christoph Waltz playing David Lanz's Cristofori's Dream.

If Mr. Waltz did not hate my work as an actress I would compliment it, but seeing as that is not the case I abhor it.

Justin Timberlake hosts SNL!

My good friend Justin is hosting SNL this Saturday and I could not be more excited. Well, if I were in NYC I would be more excited. Unfortunately the only time I could see Julian until MAY was this week so I have to be in California. However, I will be in the episode on Saturday, HOW CHRISTINA!? TELL US HOW! Alright Alright, well, I have the script for my scenes (It's a Date, Romantic Comedy, Nuvabling, and an extra [basically] in Caligula) and every time they're going over it in rehearsals and readings they call me and I do my lines from California. And when they're blocking the scenes I'm on skype! Unfortunately due to my absence I will not be featured on hulu (sad sad) so watch the show on TV! And or watch it from a streamed source cause they get that from TV as well...! Instead Vanessa will be in the filmed scenes for the week. Which is whatever. Not all my scenes, I will still be on the internet's Romantic Comedy and Nuvabling because those are commericals/movie trailers. So I'll have to quickly film those on Saturday. I'm going back to NY today so I can get there in time and Jules is coming with me but must be back for Monday for interviews and what not. Which kills but whatever.


Get stoked for JT!

Westward Bound

Tonight I'm heading to California for a week so no you will not see me on this week's SNL, but that's quite alright, because I'll be on next week's with Justin Timberlake! A good friend of mine who is also the musical guest. I'm very excited to get to be with Julian in California, happy to get to put my toes in the sand and out of the snow!

Update, stuck at the airport because of the snow. If someone here recognizes me. TELL ME A STORY OR SOMETHING. I am dying of boredom. My flight was supposed to leave at 7:30PM and I was supposed to get to California at 10:20PM but now my flight is at 9:47PM and I'll get to California at 1:12AM. Ridiculousness. COME ON WEATHER.                                                                                                                                

Jen on Jen on Jen on Jen

As of today I am officially done with filming with the wondrous people that are in on the film with me. For the next year I think it's all editing and what not, I'm not exactly sure but I am done! I'm going to miss working on set with Joe and Javier and Chris and Gary and Enrique. And of course I work with a million other people on set but let's be real, 99% of my time is with them. It has been such a pleasure getting to be opposite of THE Joseph Gordon-Levitt and to cower in fear from award winning Javier Bardem and to work under the incredible and world renown director Christopher Nolan and to be the daughter of immensely talented Gary Oldman and to get to work with Olympic trainer and new friend Enrique Log has been an absolute dream and it sucks that the filming is over because I'm going to miss hanging out with them every day so much. I will miss you all and I hope that we continue to be good friends, let's pray for a sequel! At least I am.

The Oscars were last Sunday and they were so much fun! I was there with Julian (finally!) and we had a blast. Shout out to Jennifer Lawrence for winning Best Actress for Silver Linings playbook! As a good friend to Jen I must say, GIRL YOU CAN'T JUST FALL AT THE OSCARS AND NOT GET HELPED BY BRAD AND HUGH JACKMAN. PLAY THAT SHIT UP JLAW. Another shout-out the my good friend Anne Hathaway for winning Best Supporting Actress, YOU ROCK ANNE! And another congratulations to recent SNL host Christoph Waltz for winning Best Supporting Actor, I didn't see your movie but I love your accent dearly. And a super big congratulations to someone I haven't met but I think is so damn amazing, ADELE. DAMN GIRL YOU ARE SO TALENTED. AGH.

"Christina, your boyfriend is the lead singer of The Strokes, talk about The Strokes!" OKAY ANONYMOUS MESSAGES. The Strokes, my favorite band in the entire universe for obvious reasons, is releasing their new album "Comedown Machine" on the 26th of March this year (or so Ryan Gentles has promised) and if you haven't already heard their two already released songs then today is your lucky day! Here's the link to All the Time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXcRdUTk0SI
and to One Way Trigger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itY62ToB5SE

it's marvelous. They really got stuff done out in California. Next week Kevin Hart is taking the SNL stage with musical guests Macklemore and Ryan Lewis! I'm gonna be honest, I'm obsessed with Thrift Shop and know all the words, someone please challenge me on the street, I am not joking.

And lastly out of all my paragraphs I'd just like to say that Jen and I are inseparable and will now do interviews together. BOOK US NOW!