Turning Tables

I decided to go out on the town today, glammed up, all fabulous and what not, and who did I run into but the recently born-again Essenelle fan Christoph Waltz! Today I got a call from my publicist/assistant and apparently he retracted his statement after talking to Jay Pharoah and Nasim Pedrad. Hmm, so funny that I would find him at this classy bar on a Tuesday night. Now I don't normally drink on weekdays but since Melissa McCarthy is hosting this week and they've been bleeding my dry via scene work because I've finished filming the movie I was quiet tired, and wanted to go have some fun. Little did I know that Mr. Waltz would be at the bar I went to and sitting next to me. Here's what happened:

A little note first, I speak German, English, French and a little bit of Chinese. Primarily English, a lot of French, a little of German, and about 20 words of Chinese. Growing up I learned an obscene amount of things purely out of boredom, I didn't have many friends and didn't have any electronics or what not so I spent a lot of time at the library. Yes I know how to play piano and violin, I can tap, salsa, and swing dance among many other things. I'm not bragging I'm just saying, I'M NOT SOME STUPID KID as Christoph so nicely put it a week ago.

BARTENDER

(CHRISTINA walks into the bar wearing a long grey dress and sits at the bar, she puts her pocketbook on the bar and texts on her phone for a second. She notices a pair of eyes from one seat over to her left, she continues to look at her phone assuming it's a fan) Can I get you anything Miss Essenelle?

CHRISTINA

(looks up from her phone) Um, yeah can I get a shot of Ketel One?

MAN NEXT TO CHRISTINA

Make that two.

CHRISTINA

 (she turns to see who is next to her, it is CHRISTOPH WALTZ recent frienemy. He is wearing a light blue button down shirt with a light brown sweater over it, on top of that is a darker brown blazer, he is also wearing tan pants) Well well well, if it isn't the devil incarnate. 

CHRISTOPH

(laughs) Very nice to see you as well. I see you haven't heard what I've done recently.

CHRISTINA

Oh taking back what you said? I did hear about that, and that Nasim and Jay told you everything you needed to know about me.

CHRISTOPH

I don't know about everything, est-ce que c'est vrai que vous parlez francaise et allemagne?

 CHRISTINA

Mais oui, est-ce que Nasim l'a dit?

CHRISTOPH

Ouais, elle ne sais pas que vous parlez allemagne aussi.

CHRISTINA

Il y a beaucoup d'information qu'elle ne sais pas de moi. 

CHRISTOPH

Est-ce que vous etes un personne prive?

CHRISTINA

Premiere, pourquoi est-ce que tu utilises vouvoyer? Nous sommes amis!

CHRISTOPH

Vraiment? J'ai trouve c'est difficile pour comprendre.

CHRISTINA

C'est vrai, je t'aime par un ami, et je suis desolee aussi pour le lecture que j'ai ecrit hier soir de toi. 

CHRISTOPH

Yes apparently you abhor my piano playing.

CHRISTINA

I don't abhor it, I abhorred you.

BARTENDER

Here you are. Do you-(he places the two shot glasses on the counter, and just as he is about to ask who is paying for the drinks CHRISTOPH waves his hand in the air and points to himself, saying to place the two shots on his tab)

CHRISTINA

Buying a lady drinks? Du machst mich so glucklich. 

CHRISTOPH

(he laughs) So are we taking these drinks now?

CHRISTINA

Yeah quit pussyfooting your shot.

CHRISTOPH

Pussyfooting!

CHRISTINA

I've seen your movies.

CHRISTOPH 

Django was a good film. 

CHRISTINA

I've actually seen a lot of your films, not to see you but just as a way to hang out. I think my favorite is Water for Elephants.

CHRISTOPH

(with a smirk)I feel bad, I haven't seen any of your films. 

CHRISTINA

It'll be out before you know it. 

CHRISTOPH

Well maybe I'll see you at the premiere, when is it?

CHRISTINA

Probably next winter. Not sure, but till then (she holds up her shot glass) il faut etre ivre. 

CHRISTOPH

(holding up his shot glass with a smile) Till then! (they both down their shots and get right back to talking)

~We talk about my hospital visits during filming and about Julian in California and about what he likes to do and how we both ended up here on a Tuesday. After a while we got up and went to 30 Rock and went to the Late Night set to go drink,continue our conversation, and dance~

STEVE HIGGINS
(after watching CHRISTOPH and CHRISTINA dance "el tango de roxanne" he claps) That was fantastic! What are you practicing for?
CHRISTINA
(after exchanging confused looks CHRISTINA speaks) We were just messing around.
CHRISTOPH
A little Tuesday night fun!
STEVE
Oh come on, that was definitely a rehearsal. You two scheming something?
CHRISTOPH
Scheming? Oh no.
STEVE
Wouldn't be too uncharacteristic of you Miss Essenelle. 
CHRISTINA
(dramatically) Oh Steve you embarrass me!
STEVE
(he laughs and SETH MEYERS walks in a huff) Oh hey you just missed it. 
CHRISTINA
(with a bit of a drunken slur) Hey Seth!
SETH
(confused) Yeah hey...what's going on why are you two in here?
CHRISTOPH
We were just messing around, I am sorry Seth.
SETH
(quickly gets down to the stage and sees the bottle of bourbon on JIMMY's desk) You two drinking in here?
CHRISTINA
(holds up a hand knowing what he's about to say) I know I-
SETH
(grabs her hand) You're drunk I'm taking you back to our floor.
CHRISTINA
(pulling away) Ow, stop! I'm not a little kid you know.
SETH
Then don't act like one.
CHRISTOPH
Look hey this way my idea, I wanted to see the set because I'd never seen it, she said no...I insisted...and here we are. It was my idea.
SETH
(still holding onto CHRISTINA's arm, he jolts it up) Is this true?
CHRISTINA
(giving a conflicted look to CHRISTOPH, he nods) Yeah it's true.
CHRISTOPH
(moving forward he takes CHRISTINA's arm while SETH grips it) I can take her back, I feel bad. 
SETH
(looking suspiciously at CHRISTOPH he lets CHRISTINA go) Goodnight. 

~Christoph and I leave quickly and head out to Magnolia and then Times Square. Great night~