JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT
by Christina Essenelle
Oh how I've come to love Joe. It's so funny when people don't understand who I'm talking about when I say Joe since most people call him by his professional name, but I just call him Joe Gordon. I honestly do not remember when I met Joe. I know he was at my birthday party and I feel like he might have been at the SNL Christmas Party of 2010 but I'm not 100% sure. All I know is that ever since he's started living with me (August 2012) that I've been a less where-the-fuck-is-my-boyfriend kind of girl. Joe is such a kind hearted person, all he does he does for others and he has such a sense of humor. He's one of those people that you meet every once in a while and it's just clockwork when you do meet. I felt like I've known him my whole life when I met him, I talk to him about everything. The one thing I love about Joe that I don't find in most guys is that he IS NOT IN LOVE WITH ME. That's the great thing about Joe, he doesn't want to date me and not to toot my own horn but that is not something that is easily found. Maybe it's because I met Joe when he was getting over Zooey but Joe and I are the best of friends, we have a brother-sister kind of relationship where whenever we're at parties I send girls his way and he pushes guys far away from me. It's a perfect relationship. I have to attribute Joe to my first real movie gig. Chris Nolan said that when he was auditioning people he knew had to be the lead so it was mainly up to whoever had the best chemistry, and Joe and I had it. I feel like we have a similar relationship to Emma Watson and Rupert Grint because they have to kiss on screen but it's weird for them because they're such good friends. You know I've tried to have good guy friends and it's just ended up not working out. Fab is a good example of that.
One thing that I must point out is that Joe is so weird. Joe is by far the weirdest person I've ever met in my entire life, weirder than me! And that's a feat! You can catch Joe and I making weird noises to each other as if it were a form of communication, I remember my hair and make-up lady telling me that she thought that Joe and I were related because we have a similar weird style of humor. He's hilarious and always goes for the long drawn out joke as opposed to the regular one-liner. He needs to be on SNL more often, I'm always telling him that if his movie career doesn't work out I could ask Lorne to make him a featured player. And he always says that if he went to that then that meant that his career was over. CLEVER JOE CLEVER.
I'm so happy that Joe and I are the best of friends because he's been there for me 100% of the time, he's my drinking buddy, my body guard, my confidante, and the guy who will call me out on my bullshit. He's also totally okay with lazy days in our pajamas watching reality TV eating soup and laying upside on my couch. You know what's one thing Joe doesn't do enough? DO HIS MAGIC MIKE DANCE. I try to make him do it in public but he won't because he doesn't want the attention (but secretly he does). Anyways, Joe, you are such a big part of my life and you'll always be the godfather to my unborn children.
Ladies he's single!
