Remember when I said Matt Damon was going to play the villain in the movie I'm in? WELL, Matt decided to dip out like a biatch (not really it was for a family thing but whatever) so, we had to replace him. However we replaced him with Javier Bardem and that is damn awesome. I saw Skyfall not too long ago and I loved the job he did with Silva. Plus, he's got that Spanish accent and mmmmm damn it is delicious.
Jules and I are in Utah right now going snowboarding and it's a blast, a cold blast, but a blast. I signed on for another BBC show...don't ask me when I want to stress myself to the point of tears but I am. Ugh. Happy new year's eve everyone!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Ah, I see now
I see the parallelism now. Things this week have been not so great between Joe and I but Anne (Hathaway) and I have really been hitting it off. Here's what happened:
Joe had been texting me for a lot of my time in California and I thought that that was normal because Joe and I are best friends and I did not think anything else of it. But Anne pointed it out to me. She thought that Joe had a crush on me and last time I didn't tell Julian of someone who had a crush on me he got very angry so I told him immediately that Anne was having these thoughts and so Jules was even more conscious of the texting from Joe. After the break of lots of texts from Joe I went back to New York and Joe and I were supposed to hang out because I had gotten him an inside joke gift and I was gonna give it to him but he was nowhere to be found! I texted him asking where he was and he just said that he was too tired to hang out (granted my flight got in late and I was 3 hours jet lagged) so I said okay, and Joe was supposed to be super super busy this week because he is doing lectures on college campuses (RIU most recently) and what not so I knew that I wasn't going to see him all the time, but with him LIVING WITH ME AND ALL, I figured I see him a little less than usual. Anyways, so Joe tells me Sunday (the night he said he was too tired) that tomorrow he'll come pick up his gift because he's going to be staying with a friend for the next few days. I didn't ask why but I assumed that he would follow through with his word. Monday comes around and I didn't hear from him all day, not even at night. So Tuesday rolls around and I asked him about something that didn't have to do with his random not-showing-up event, and I don't know but he was just being so rude on the phone and I just didn't understand what the hell was his problem but I chalked it off to him being stressed and busy, he says he might pick up the gift that night. He doesn't show up. Wednesday comes and usually on Wednesdays a few SNL people including myself go out to dinner together and the past few times Joe has come along too and this time Joe showed up to NBC while we were running through scenes. He barely said a word to me. But everyone else was his best friend that night he was chatting everyone up! Ugh, and then Kenan asked Joe if he was going to get food with us but he said no because he had to prepare for his lecture for Saturday. I assumed that that was what he was actually doing. So I texted him an hour after I had seen him and asked him "when we hanging out" and he asked when I was free and then I said whenever and he didn't really respond with an answer instead we texted back and forth for about 2 hours and he was still being a jerk in all these text messages, so I ended the conversation with "You know what? Forget it. Forget I even asked to hang out." and he didn't respond and I fell asleep. And all the while through this conversation he wasn't replying immediately it was in 45 minute intervals and 15 minute intervals. And apparently he was replying so slowly because he was hanging out with friends! Ahhh! I was pissed.
Finally Thursday came around and at 1PM I get a text from Joe (after I had promised myself to never start a conversation with him again until he apologized) saying, "I'm sorry! I was bein a jerk last night. I have fliming at 4:30PM and then I'm working on my lecture till 10:30 but afterwards I'm free. You wanna hang out?" and immediately I thought of just awful things to say to him. A nice fuck you would have sufficed, I was going to not reply as well but I eventually did after consulting Anne (who I had been texting about Joe's weirdness all week) and I said yes to hanging out but that we needed to discuss his douche-baggery. So I had already made plans that night with Seth, Vanessa, Tim, and Taran to watch the NBC shows together and while that was going on Joe texted me saying that he finished up doing stuff and that he was going to pick me up. So I told him that I was with Seth, Vanessa, Tim and Taran and he immediately jumped on that bandwagon and said that they should all come hang out at Joe's friend's house and I (not wanting to sound sad because I had originally thought that it would be a one-on-one thing) agreed and invited everyone over. Only Seth and Taran came over but then Bobby joined as well and it was...interesting. Well like I have said previously, Joe has some college-aged friends and so there was beer pong at this "party" and beer bongs, hookas, etc. I'm not trying to brag but I'm pretty good at beer pong, Seth and I beat Taran and Joe (and Joe's a champ) but then we lost in a rematch and Joe-yet again-was being a jerk to me! I just did not understand what was going on. After a while Taran left, and then Bobby, and then it was just me, Joe, and super wasted completely drunk Seth who was taking rounds outside the outside and occasionally vomiting. And it was just Joe and me inside. It felt normal when it was just us two so I thought maybe he was trying to put on airs in front of other SNL cast members to seem cool (again making so many excuses for this kid!) and then once Seth went home we were alone. And we talked. For a loooooooooooong time. The conversation started as both of us on a couch just arguing. Arguing like an old married couple, it was ridiculous. Finally the arguing stops and I ask Joe something I had suspected because of Anne:
Joe had been texting me for a lot of my time in California and I thought that that was normal because Joe and I are best friends and I did not think anything else of it. But Anne pointed it out to me. She thought that Joe had a crush on me and last time I didn't tell Julian of someone who had a crush on me he got very angry so I told him immediately that Anne was having these thoughts and so Jules was even more conscious of the texting from Joe. After the break of lots of texts from Joe I went back to New York and Joe and I were supposed to hang out because I had gotten him an inside joke gift and I was gonna give it to him but he was nowhere to be found! I texted him asking where he was and he just said that he was too tired to hang out (granted my flight got in late and I was 3 hours jet lagged) so I said okay, and Joe was supposed to be super super busy this week because he is doing lectures on college campuses (RIU most recently) and what not so I knew that I wasn't going to see him all the time, but with him LIVING WITH ME AND ALL, I figured I see him a little less than usual. Anyways, so Joe tells me Sunday (the night he said he was too tired) that tomorrow he'll come pick up his gift because he's going to be staying with a friend for the next few days. I didn't ask why but I assumed that he would follow through with his word. Monday comes around and I didn't hear from him all day, not even at night. So Tuesday rolls around and I asked him about something that didn't have to do with his random not-showing-up event, and I don't know but he was just being so rude on the phone and I just didn't understand what the hell was his problem but I chalked it off to him being stressed and busy, he says he might pick up the gift that night. He doesn't show up. Wednesday comes and usually on Wednesdays a few SNL people including myself go out to dinner together and the past few times Joe has come along too and this time Joe showed up to NBC while we were running through scenes. He barely said a word to me. But everyone else was his best friend that night he was chatting everyone up! Ugh, and then Kenan asked Joe if he was going to get food with us but he said no because he had to prepare for his lecture for Saturday. I assumed that that was what he was actually doing. So I texted him an hour after I had seen him and asked him "when we hanging out" and he asked when I was free and then I said whenever and he didn't really respond with an answer instead we texted back and forth for about 2 hours and he was still being a jerk in all these text messages, so I ended the conversation with "You know what? Forget it. Forget I even asked to hang out." and he didn't respond and I fell asleep. And all the while through this conversation he wasn't replying immediately it was in 45 minute intervals and 15 minute intervals. And apparently he was replying so slowly because he was hanging out with friends! Ahhh! I was pissed.
Finally Thursday came around and at 1PM I get a text from Joe (after I had promised myself to never start a conversation with him again until he apologized) saying, "I'm sorry! I was bein a jerk last night. I have fliming at 4:30PM and then I'm working on my lecture till 10:30 but afterwards I'm free. You wanna hang out?" and immediately I thought of just awful things to say to him. A nice fuck you would have sufficed, I was going to not reply as well but I eventually did after consulting Anne (who I had been texting about Joe's weirdness all week) and I said yes to hanging out but that we needed to discuss his douche-baggery. So I had already made plans that night with Seth, Vanessa, Tim, and Taran to watch the NBC shows together and while that was going on Joe texted me saying that he finished up doing stuff and that he was going to pick me up. So I told him that I was with Seth, Vanessa, Tim and Taran and he immediately jumped on that bandwagon and said that they should all come hang out at Joe's friend's house and I (not wanting to sound sad because I had originally thought that it would be a one-on-one thing) agreed and invited everyone over. Only Seth and Taran came over but then Bobby joined as well and it was...interesting. Well like I have said previously, Joe has some college-aged friends and so there was beer pong at this "party" and beer bongs, hookas, etc. I'm not trying to brag but I'm pretty good at beer pong, Seth and I beat Taran and Joe (and Joe's a champ) but then we lost in a rematch and Joe-yet again-was being a jerk to me! I just did not understand what was going on. After a while Taran left, and then Bobby, and then it was just me, Joe, and super wasted completely drunk Seth who was taking rounds outside the outside and occasionally vomiting. And it was just Joe and me inside. It felt normal when it was just us two so I thought maybe he was trying to put on airs in front of other SNL cast members to seem cool (again making so many excuses for this kid!) and then once Seth went home we were alone. And we talked. For a loooooooooooong time. The conversation started as both of us on a couch just arguing. Arguing like an old married couple, it was ridiculous. Finally the arguing stops and I ask Joe something I had suspected because of Anne:
CHRISTINA
Joe, are you distancing yourself from me because you like me?
JOE
...maybe a little.
CHRISTINA
Noticed.
JOE
Well. I'm not supposed to like you. You have a boyfriend.
CHRISTINA
This is true. But you feel how you feel, there's no rhyme or reason to it.
JOE
...we can't keep living together.
CHRISTINA
(suddenly angry she crosses her arms and turns her head away. JOE puts his arm around her and she shrugs him off) No stop.
JOE
Christina...
CHRISTINA
No! You don't want to stay with me then I don't want you touching me.
JOE
Christina of course I want to stay with you!
CHRISTINA
Then why aren't you?
JOE
Because I shouldn't! Am I being illogical right now? You have a boyfriend, it's not fair to Julian, it's not fair to you and it's not fair to me.
CHRISTINA
(tears in her eyes) How is it not fair for me?
JOE
Look at you, you're clearly torn up about this. Look, I'm not asking you to break up with Julian for me and I don't want you to choose. I just want you to be happy.
CHRISTINA
And you think that's with you.
JOE
It could be. Look, I'm sorry I like you but it's the way it is.
CHRISTINA
Why can't things go back to normal...
JOE
What's normal?
CHRISTINA
Like when we were just best friends who made-out on set and cuddling while watching TV but it meant nothing. Why can't we go back to that?
JOE
Because I'm not gonna all the sudden just stop liking you.
CHRISTINA
Why do you even like me? I'm gross! I burp and I tell stupid jokes and all I talk about is my boyfriend!
JOE
I think it's cute when you burp.
CHRISTINA
AH! I just don't understand. Please stay with me at NBC.
JOE
(getting upset and yet frustrated at the same time) I want to! But I can't!
CHRISTINA
Yes you can!
JOE
What do you expect me to do? I mean, put yourself in my shoes. What would you do?
CHRISTINA
I don't know, Joe I don't know! (she gets more upset and curls up and starts to cry. JOE rubs her back and CHRISTINA is still)
JOE
Please talk to me...
CHRISTINA
I don't want to think about this can't we just forget this ever happened?
JOE
No.
CHRISTINA
And what about over Thanksgiving break? You texted me all the time, when did you decide to stop talking to me?
JOE
While you were gone. But I missed you.
CHRISTINA
I missed you too.
JOE
But we can't do this, you're not single.
CHRISTINA
I know. I'm sorry.
JOE
Don't say you're sorry. It's not your fault.
CHRISTINA
It is my fault! I shouldn't have let you get this close to me. I don't know why I keep thinking that I can have male friends, clearly it's just not possible.
JOE
Can you blame me for liking you?
CHRISTINA
Ugh.
And the conversation went on like that for a while and I don't know who fell asleep on that couch first but that's where we ended up. The conversation ended with us saying we're staying friends and that Joe's still gonna live with me. The movie will be Joe's vice for his feelings as well as drunk nice when we dance, but I'm not leaving Julian for Joe. Not ever.
But what's with the title, you ask? Because I had the sad, sad realization that I'm Summer and he's Tom. He's Tom again.
"we're just friends"
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